Enter To Win 10 Free MM Ebooks! Saturday Only!!!

Hey guys and gals and everything rainbowy in between,

I’ve got a question. How do you feel about women writing gay stories?

So there is an amazing giveaway going on. You’re just catching the end today so enter while you can here!  You can win My Broken Angel plus 9 other books in the mm angel genre. Yes, not just 1, a whole 10 books to the winner just like that.

Now on this page is a comment thing happening which, I gotta say, I felt physically ill reading some of the remarks. I think I might be a little sensitive, and for real, I don’t know if that’s a unique response. I have my sensitive, emotional moments—and no, I won’t make a derogatory remark about being a girl here. I’m a human who feels things strongly.

Does having a vagina invalidate my writing? Should I only be writing bisexual fiction from the viewpoint of a bisexual woman? Do I not get to be a part of the community I write for? Does every gay male who reads my work have a mental caveat of, well, a chick wrote it so yeah, I’ll read it but I won’t accept it?

It’s a difficult perspective, one I never really dwelt too deep into. I write because I love to write. I love to have characters who are flawed but find happy endings and I love that in the process, I’m helping to build up a community who doesn’t get represented equally. And to be honest, no one has brought this perspective to me personally. This is the first time I’ve seen this up close, and it was in watching this amazing women who has organized this giveaway have to defend her right to write gay fiction even though she’s a woman.

So, you peeps are readers of gay fiction. Does gay fiction only exist for gay males? To be clear, I already know the answer to this and it’s no. I write yaoi, which is defined as gay romance written for women, usually with exaggerations of certain dramatic effects and story lines and emotions. But should it? Is there something perverse and societally harmful about reading about the fictional sex lives of fictional males when you’re not a gay male? Are some messages only meant for some people? Are some stories supposed to be contained to certain sexualities and cultures because they represent those people and unless you’re an insider, you don’t get to be included?

I always thought sexual freedom was a universal truth we all needed to hear. Maybe I’m naive to think in the same way our fantasies represent internal struggles of being free from the pressures of society, so does a mm or ff and anything in between story do the same.

This isn’t to go all drama about this, btw. I want to hear where the pain is coming from. I want to know why some people feel this way. I can’t imagine someone can have such a strong opinion about this without pain from their own life. I know because whenever I bring up bi characters, you’ll notice plenty of bitterness brought on by my past.

Living On The Fence

Okay, So I pretty much ignore bisexual characters on television because they slut shame the fuck out of them. I never feel like they’re represented properly, except in the fact that the characters are never accepted in their own communities. There’s always one group who says they’re faking for attention and they really don’t like the opposite sex, and another group who says they’re lying and they’re really gay. This was my existence when in the gay scene, btw. Straight people were curious and awkward, gay people judged the fuck out of me, and apparently I was the only bisexual in existence. Ever. It got to a point that I refused to hang out with lesbians because I was sick of hearing the bullshit… and seriously, straight chicks, me being bi doesn’t automatically mean I want to fuck you. Get over yourself. O_o I never asked anyone’s opinion on my sexuality; nope that was just freely given because I existed and dared to be bi.

I was fine with me, but it’s never about the bisexual, it’s about those people who feel so upset bisexuals exist and aren’t conforming to what they think their sexuality should. It’s almost like every time these people see a bisexual they suddenly feel a twinge of their own sexual confusion and they immediately shout ‘this is how I dealt with it! Do that! Be gay! Be straight! Look a certain way so no one will be confused! Only talk to other bisexuals and fuck bisexuals so you won’t confuse me!’ These people (mostly women–I know girls, there are so many fucking messages to conform and fit in) didn’t understand that it’s just something you accept instead of try to change or define. You’re sexually attracted to people of both genders. It doesn’t mean all of them, or that there has to be some equal tally each time or that you think the ones you aren’t attracted to are somehow inferior. Just gender doesn’t mean much in the way of attraction. That’s it.

It is exhausting realizing something integral as your sexuality is some fucking hot button trigger for a bunch of strangers who can’t spend five minutes figuring out their own shit and instead mouth off at you. Just saying. But I understood it because I knew a lot of people in that scene were also putting so much energy in trying to figure out who they were, and pushing back at society to say ‘I’m allowed to be the way I am and this is the way I am.’ They didn’t realize that in their need to define themselves, they were trying to define me as well and being totally intolerant of my existence. Oh, it still sucked, but I could walk away and still be fine with me while they were unfortunately still struggling with how to define those who didn’t fit into their view.

It gets better, it does, but only with perspective and realizing it’s okay to not be exactly what you think you should be. Don’t think for a moment being attracted to the same gender will save you from being closed minded. It takes more than being born a certain way; it takes life experience. No one wants to be judged so why judge others? Why judge yourself? If you’re still talking shit about yourself, you’re still battling to be allowed to be you. It’s a hard way to live.

Anywho… giveaway and goodies! XD

Totally random, I’m going to start going through the website database and if you’ve only logged in once, contact you to see if you actually got your password. No, you are not alone with this problem. Given some of the recent comments, I have a feeling this website system is not as smooth as I would prefer. Keep waiting for the things that make life easier by working to actually work, but nope. That’s madness. XD Don’t be shy if you can’t find your password. I don’t bite.

Also, up to #53 in Sorcerer Slayer! Left you all with an assholic cliffhanger with Raider being stolen away so I can get to the free content posting for the weekend. Apologies (I’m totally not a sadist XD) Awakening is up to #15 and Intangible #11!

On Thin Ice

Nobody Would Of Expected This Ladies’ Man To Fall For Another Man

Matt Tucker had to claw his way to the top of the sports journalism industry. It isn’t for lack of talent, either. It’s purely because of his sexuality. When he’s assigned to write up a personal profile of Rangers up-and-comer Chris Knoll, he just hopes that the handsome hockey player won’t be one of those guys.

After all, there’s no use hoping that he’ll be interested in Matt. Is there?

Chris himself would have said there wasn’t… right up until the moment he started getting to know Matt. He’s never looked at a man like this before.

How can a man come to terms with his feelings in these circumstances – and what will it take to tell the truth

Saturday Only! 10 Free Book Giveaway!