Archive: January 18, 2020

1-15-2020

Hey babes, just a quick check in. I got completely sideswiped with all the work of releasing a book–I seriously forgot all the energy that goes into publishing. But the first episode of the PATB Serial hit bestseller status in LGBT Fantasy this weekend, so it was worth the damn work! ♥

I’m fiddling with (fighting to the death, if we’re real about it >_<) a dictation software in the hopes of speeding my writing up. I should have something for you peeps later today or early tomorrow. Sorry for the long delay! Hopefully the next scenes in PATB will make up for it. 😉

COMMENTS

💜Guess What’s A Bestseller!!!💙

PATB Serial hit #1 in LGBT Fantasy Fiction!

Babes, I am so out of the game

I have no selling strategy, I have no goals right now where I can go ‘there, I made it. Author self worth achieved!’ I am just trying to get my momentum back with all this, relearn how to chew gum and walk at the same time kinda thing. But apparently while I was sick and full of a fair bit of self-loathing for not getting anything accomplished, I became part of a community of kickass writers and readers.

I have found myself surrounded by generous people who have shared this book without me asking, without me saying a damn word. Where their kindness and enthusiasm for me finally wobbling back on my author feet has far outshined my tentative, rather terror stricken self in all this.

One of my biggest struggles, not just as an author but as a person, has been to make this very difficult journey from independent to interdependent. I have no clue how to do it–letting people help me has been so freaking difficult. I love to help others, but I know because I haven’t figured out the other half that my help is lacking. I just don’t know how to fit into the human reciprocation game. But I really want to freaking learn. Feeling like I’m a part of something bigger but still accepts me for my flaws makes me want to be the best version of me I can be. It’s a different type of motivational fuel, one that doesn’t feel so damn lonely.

So yeah… I’m loving the world today. XD I hope you’re all having a great weekend (and that I didn’t get too much sappy injected into your day. 😉 ) I just wanted to share the good news.

🎉The New Book Is Live! (alive?!!!?)

Hey babes,

 

All right, it’s official. The first episode of the paranormal Academy for troubled boys is live! Preorder peeps, it should have been delivered to your kindles. For KU readers and those showing up late (well, on time, really >_>) you can go and read it now! Get it, get it, get it!!! <3

link to amazon to buy the ebook for the paranormal academy for troubled boys episode 1

Once you’re done reading, I would totally love it if you reviewed. I’m looking for as much feedback as I can get on my new writing style… I’m not nervous at all, totally. @[email protected]

 

Okay, I’m totally nervous =_=

 

Why is everything a trial by fire thing with me?!!! Seriously, ugh. I’m so tired of being a crazy person.

So, I didn’t actually realize how nervous I would be to release a new book after all this time. I don’t think it’s even about releasing a new book, if I’m really honest about it all. I think a part of me is afraid to see myself healthy, and even more terrified to see myself successful in the things I do every day. I have been avoiding emails—as freaking wonderful as everyone has been, it’s only triggered this crazy thing in my head all the more. I’ve been very focused on work, and when not that, quietly freaking out in the little corner of my life.

I am very good at facing that which doesn’t allow me to run away. A body that breaks down, suddenly bedbound, random weird shit happening like multiple chemical sensitivity, feeling like my brain is burning, the Parkinson’s. I took those things on because if I didn’t, it felt like death. But for some reason, moving towards being a different person through the success of my writing… also feels like death for me. >_> Yeah. *sigh* I think my brain is wired for PTSD at this point, and as such, I have a responsibility to deal with all these weird psychosis head-on.

I guess fear of success is not uncommon for those who have experienced trauma. I was reading about it all last night while trying not to have a freak out as I saw my preorders hit. This is why I didn’t want to advertise and just focus on writing the next book. I didn’t want to face the things I needed to do to make this book sell and therefore change my life. I can see it now – self-awareness is such a bitch – and yeah, I’m going to have to figure out something. Therapist, very likely. I refuse to be trapped in my life over my own damn brain.

I’m wired for these types of problems. If you notice the new disclaimer in this current book, my ‘sensitivity disclaimer’, it might seem quirky, or even insensitive depending on who’s reading it. But the reality is, that’s something I need to remind myself. Not just with books, but with also movies, art, stories people share about their lives about things not happening that moments. I talk about this particular problem a lot, because it was once how my brain saw things 24-7. I’m not just reminding and reaffirming with people, but also reaffirming my own mind the difference between fantasy and reality. Trauma wired my brain in a messed up way, so when I have a narrative, a story about myself that I share to the world, I don’t always get to know that it’s a narrative, a fiction—that I am more than a bunch of words on a page or the thoughts in my head. It’s important that I remember—that we all remember—that we can be more than how we perceive ourselves to be in a moment of depression or low self-esteem.

I know, this is some heavy shit to be talking about when it should be all happy the new book is out kind of stuff. I have this difficult habit of being far too real. Go read, enjoy, and please review. Reviews are needed for that success aspect of the book, but it also lets me know if people want to see more of something. Oh, and don’t miss out on the books below!

I hope you’re all having a wonderful weekend, and I’ll be hitting you up fairly soon. The second episode is already on preorder and will be released on Valentine’s Day. Yeah I went as cheesy as possible with that, because it’s when we introduce Dorian. XD It’s always good to do Valentine’s Day right with sparking sorcerers and hissing dragon shifters. 😉

Happy reading!

 

Books worth snagging <3

 

MM Freebies, KU, and new releases

The Secret Thing – KU

What will happen once all Brandon’s secrets are out in the open?

Cracking ice: Omegaverse Hockey Romance – freebie

An omega in heat. His straight alpha teammate. A night they won’t forget. A connection they cannot deny.

Shattered Wolf: An Mpreg Shifter Romance – KU

What happens when the one thing you can’t have is all you’ve ever wanted?

The Pearl – $0.99

The Top End of Australia—a tropical paradise filled with beauty. Wonder. Danger.

💖Wylie, Dorian, And The Academy Are Back!

Hey babes,

It’s done! Fuck yeah, the first episode of The Paranormal Academy For Troubled Boys Serial is finally done! Check it!

Okay it’s mostly Wylie back atm—the first episode focuses on him and Theodore—but Dorian is front and center in the second book. I’m doing a preorder this time around, but it’s super short, just for the week. It’ll be live on Saturday, the 11th. I wanted to see how it worked, what it did, that way I’d be prepared for when I put episode 2 on preorder.

Oh, if anyone wants to do an ARC for this book, hit me up by responding to this newsletter (and mention you want to do an ARC.) The more, the merrier!

PATB Serial?

For those wondering what the hell the PATB Serial is, it’s a reimagining of The Paranormal Academy For Troubled Boys into a serial format instead of a novel. The world is fleshed out, there’s more going on, more characterization—the inner beasts now have a voice and mind that, depending on the shifter’s control, will be helpful or at odds. It’s also more adult. I didn’t want anyone stumbling into this series and thinking it was YA, so I pushed a more sexy narrative.

When I started writing the sequel to Demon Arms, I already saw that the romance novel format of a love story a book was absolutely going to stunt this series. It just wouldn’t work; there was too much going on. But I wrote Demon Arms in that format, setting a standard that might be expected from the sequels. So I went back and updated Demon Arms to suit the sequels to come, and put it all under the PATB Serial series title.

Episode #1 is 80,500 words and spans up to right before Wylie gets to the Academy. In some ways, it’s very similar to Demon Arms, yet in so many other ways it’s a completely different story. There’s so much more to see and experience. Theodore and Michael get prominent roles this time around—I wanted to have an older voice in here, not just the inexperienced patients. I wanted magic to actually be an element in the world instead of just talked about in passing. And stakes—I wanted people to really see how shifters and sorcerers were treated completely differently and the problems each group faces.

I’m really excited about it all. XD I never thought I’d write a dystopian type story, but PATB Serial definitely walks that line.

So, a little catching up

I’m better. Beyond better. I figured out the last piece of the puzzle, which it turns out I have a genetic mutation where my body creates too little progesterone. Low levels impairs memory (which was why I was struggling to get my brain to write the last year—I couldn’t hold any of it in my head,) as well as it inhibits energy levels. So this feels like it’s it. I think this is about the best I’m getting—although I still have 9 back teeth I gotta get pulled. I got in with a really good dentist and it was worth the wait. I’m going to do it all at once, get it all over with, and ideally that will stop all these damn tooth infections (literally got one last Sunday) and I can start focusing on enjoying life and writing.

I’ll be real, I’m not pushing sales, not marketing, not anything right now for the PATB Serial. I want to get my momentum back and get back into the flow of writing, editing, and publishing. Once I feel like I’m back in a good rhythm, I’ll take a look at how the market has changed and screw around with that side of things. (Facebook author groups are HUGE, now. @[email protected]) I’m just happy to have my mind back enough to finish a book. I feel great, I feel like a writer again, and that my creativity is flowing. I feel like myself after so long of being robotic and held back. I am ready to fly. Like, I’m looking at a crazy writing challenge—a book a month—and thinking yeah, that might be a way to kick my ass into gear after being stuck in this limbo for so long.

It might seem ambitious, but before I figured things out, I made that calendar, and having that set deadline, a goal that seemed so big that I needed to show up 100% every day, really helped me perform and push my limits in ways I didn’t know possible. There’s something damaging about believing you’re sick all the time. It sneaks up on you, sinks in, and before you know it, you start setting your limits to less than, to ‘safe,’ to you better not even try. I need to get out of that messed up mindset, and I think challenging myself like this is the answer.

I finally got the software for dictation, which is pretty much the standard for anyone who is looking to write a lot of content daily. Like, yeah, I just committed to this crazy idea when I threw down big money. I’m also planning which projects I want to focus on. PATB Serial, obviously. But also Hellcat, Demon Bonded and… I’m not sure. I want to get back into the kinky stuff, the taboo stuff too. It might be nice to get some short stories done while writing novels. Not outlined, not sketched or rough drafted; I want to get these stories DONE.

Speaking of which, if anyone has any suggestions about what they want to see written this year, speak up. I want to hear. There is this frustrating issue with writing to market where as a writer, I find myself focused on what sells more than what fans love. (You would assume it’s the same, but not when censorship is involved.) Blinders start showing up without me even realizing it. So if you’ve got a fav kink you want represented, or fav story/series that needs more love, let me know and I’ll put it on the list.

Leaving this semi short and sweet. Hope you’re all having a great new decade so far. I know the world isn’t perfect, but I’m putting on my optimism filter anyways. We can’t control much of anything, but we can enjoy the ride. ♥