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A Demon Arms Surprise! 💥

Babes, I’ve got a treat for you this week

New Demon Arms Cover!

Wylie’s got his arms out (so sexy!), Dorian’s sparking hot, and yeah, that’s Beck in the background cuz why the fuck not? He’ll be back in later books so might as well see him now. (I could so see Adam with the help of Beck ending up leading one of the magical gangs that hang in Orphic District…)

I’m Not Breaking It…

Lol, so if you’re guessing given the epic nature of this cover, I have plans for the series. Part of those plans is an extensive rewrite of the first book. Before anyone freaks, I’ll be releasing it as a second edition (ideally the same time or right before the sequel.) The original Demon Arms will remain untouched. But this series is changing to suit a different type of pacing—and to be quite blunt, as I recover my health, my brain is changing and turning me into a different type of writer. Hopefully, a better one, but eh, that’s completely subjective. Hence leaving the original Demon Arms alone. I want to create a more immersive, detail oriented experience without my moldy brain making things confusing, but I get it. Some people like things just the way they are and I’m not about to punish them over it. I published it and it’s no longer mine to fuck with.

I had a lot of ideas for Demon Arms when I first conceived that book, ideas I tossed to the side because I felt restricted by the whole mold toxicity, and by the format of a romance novel. I rushed the beginning because meeting the love interest late into a book just wasn’t done, and I hid a lot of details, and didn’t flesh out the world because, well, I wasn’t good at world building and settings and descriptions. I couldn’t visualize and I was just tired and wanted to finish the damn book. >_< I felt those format restrictions even more when I found myself over 160,000 words into Sorcerer Slayer trying to tie up all these ends that weren’t ready to be tied up.

I want this to feel like a TV series, where books are seasons where you have this overarching plot line pushing everything forward while we get to really explore the world and characters living there with smaller plot points and events. It can’t just be one relationship focus book to book because it’s about a cast of people interacting, not one neat, tidy a+b=c kinda format. I had to let go of that romance ideal of getting the perfect, neat ending by the end of the book when love lines didn’t match plot lines. That, or Sorcerer Slayer was going to end up being like 400,000 words. @[email protected]

I’ve actually broken Sorcerer Slayer into 3 books—Shiny Thief (Raider), Sorcerer Slayer (Vincent), and Manic Fool (Fox)—which are mostly outlined and being fleshed out while I finish up the first out of what I’ve already written for Shiny Thief. And I’m working on the Demon Arms rewrite—my fuck, it feels like a draft. I remember getting pissed when someone said that in a review, but now I see it. My broken brain was limited and no, you really can’t see outside of your own damn brain no matter how hard you try.

It’s been a lot of work. I love every moment of it, but it’s taking my time and I’ll probably be doing less newsletters until I learn to balance. I need to find more effective ways to write while also having a life. I was burning myself out again and lost my happiness. A big decision I made is to put aside a lot of other stories for now. I have three main series focuses as I move forward, which is Hellcat, Demon Bonded, and The Paranormal Academy For Troubled Boys. Everything else will have to wait until I get these series finished. I’m practicing outlining techniques on a few rogue stories, but that’s it. These three are my main focus.

Lol, if you want a visual as to where this book has been in relation to the health of my brain at the time of writing it, the covers paint an interesting picture.

It’s like watching the fucking neurons restore in my brain. I swear I used to be an artist before I got sick. Now I’m terrified to try a painting from scratch for fear of all I’ve really lost after years of learning how to paint and draw… Anywho.

It’s been over two years since I got Demon Arms out. My priorities were very different back then. I was very different—how weird to not live overwhelmed with anxiety anymore. I can remember clearly just spending a week freaking out when I went in and did an edit for Demon Arms to clean up the biggest complaint which was my use of terms like ‘the boy’ and ‘the blond.’ XD Now I’m all, fuck it, and I just take the time it takes. Good writing takes time and I’m not a computer.

I wanted the sequel to already be done and published a year ago, but that said, I’m really glad I gave it the time to grow. It’s one thing to not obsess and be stressed out by writing; it’s totally another to refuse to put the work in and learn from every book that came before. I want to be better. I want to create a series I can be proud of—one that people are never going to want to leave. It might not come as easy for me as how I was writing before, but I feel better for trying and pushing my limits. I’m growing instead of that stagnant place of just hoping to stay afloat, and I want my creations to fit that too. Growth is good.

Fan Service <3

Ah, before I forget, the fabulous Jess has gone through the trouble of setting up a Discord fan group thing for any Sadie Sins fans out there (I know, I sound like a dinosaur. @[email protected] Computers are what now?)

If you enjoy chatting with peeps on the Internet, you may like doing so about the odd things I write or just mm topics in general. I will not be observing these chats (aka, bash me if you like. XD) I wish I had it in me to be a particularly sociable person and all, but eh. I’m happily an introvert who peeks out of my shell once in a while to answer emails or bitch on facebook. But that doesn’t mean properly sociable people can’t have fun!

If you’re interested, I have some pretty wallpapers to go with the new Demon Arms book cover.

Desktop Wallpaper

Mobile Wallpaper

Oh, also, if you’re expecting something from me in the mail, I’m getting to it this weekend, promise! Sorry I’m such a flake. I’ve been cleaning, dealing with a sick cat (my neighbor’s dog ate my homework. XD) Sending it out asap.

First Time Seller

Free!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dusk to Dawn – $0.99

Since he was thirteen, Sebastian’s every precious moment was connected to his first crush, Edi. His protector through his toughest school years, Edi has always guided Sebastian’s choices. Love, lust, the realization he was gay, his passion for sports and karate, his studies and career of choice, everything in Seba’s life is somehow linked to Edi.

Sebastian’s love never faltered over the years, not as he challenged himself to catch up to Edi. Nor when Edi’s on and off boyfriend, Robert, showed up to wreak havoc in their lives.

Sebastian has shaped his life to revolve around Edi—his friend, roommate, and occasional lover. But is that the right path for him, or should he start a new journey, one that takes him away from Edi all the way to another country? And will running away solve anything in the end?

My Favorite Sin – Preorder for the 15th

Alejandro Del Bosque has always known he wanted to be a priest, but when he gets his letter of acceptance to seminary school, he is anything but excited. Suddenly every doubt he’s ever had about his path in life comes to the surface and he’s no longer sure of anything at all.

He could turn to Cyrus, his childhood best friend, to help him figure out. Cyrus Brand is self-assured and ambitious and Alejandro is almost sure Cyrus can help him figure out what he wants for the rest of his life—since Cyrus knows what he wants to do for the rest of his.

He could turn to his mentor, Lawrence Faulkner. Almost twice his age, Lawrence wanted to be a priest before he settled down with his wife and became a university counselor. Now widowed, Alejandro is almost sure Lawrence is the perfect person to guide him through this difficult process—if he can avoid developing feelings for him.

Or he could turn to his roommate, Montgomery Banks. The man might have no idea what he’s doing with his life, but at least he knows how to have fun and that might be exactly what has been missing from Alejandro’s life.

He needs to make a decision. He needs to choose his favorite sin.

Dear reader: In this story, you’ll be the one to make decisions which directly affect the outcome of Alejandro’s story. This is a romance and does not end in a cliffhanger.

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SILVERBANE BK#1

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DRAFT SCENE 24

Chris confronts Raven at school. Deon’s not there and he’s thinking about him. Was he avoiding him? Had he come on too strong?

Chris is furious. What the fuck is he doing? The Avery guy came to practice reeking of him! Are you seriously fucking some nobody while they need to find him a mate!

First of all, it’s none of his fucking business who he’s seeing—

Oh, this is his fucking business! Do you understand what kind of position you’re putting me in with the packs? With the elders. Tommy is—

Fuck Tommy!

Raven, I don’t care if you don’t like him, there is no one else! Making an ass of himself with the new guy is not going to get him any good attention.

I’m not making an ass—I like him.

You’re playing with him.

No!

Then he knows you’re the Sentry? You’ve shown him? You’ve explained how this town works, how you’re never going to be able to leave?

Raven looks away, hissing. Just leave it alone, Chris. Just let me have this.

You’re fooling yourself, Raven. He’s never going to accept you.

He does. He likes—

You’re a sorcerer. You are the most important person in this entire town, Raven. Even if he had the power to protect you, which he doesn’t, he still can’t support you. He has no pack, he has no wealth, and he has no power. He’s nothing, Raven, and if you waste your heart on him, you’re going to doom yourself to a life of struggle and pain. You’re going to doom Sasha and Bryce and Cedric.

You could take them in, Chris. You could stand the fuck up and tell the packs that things can change if they want them to.

I can’t, Raven. You don’t get to be leader because you bring change, you get to be leader because you uphold all that the packs represent. I might be able to do a little good, a little leeway in the future, but that’s only after years of giving them what they need. The packs need security. They need to know that they can roam the wildwoods and not be destroyed by the __ or hunted down by the neighboring towns.

If they would compromise! No one made them choose to be fucking wolves their entire life! I am a slave because they don’t want to be responsible for themselves!

At least they let us live! Chris covers his mouth with his hand, glaring into his eyes. Raven, mom and dad tried to bring change and you know damn well what happened because of it. Don’t do this. Don’t throw your life away like they did. They will kill you and then the town will have no one to protect them.

Chris…

Do you think it’s just the __ the town has to fear without you? What do you think the humans will do, kind Rebecca Avery, __, the babysitter, __, the families? Your human boyfriend there that has never spent a day outside of the city? What the fuck do you think will happen if there isn’t a Sentry to keep the packs from deciding they don’t need humans anymore? They talk about it, Raven. They talk about how little the humans provide, what a waste it is to educate, to give up land, to give them food and resources. The water they consume. The water, Rave. They don’t see humans as equal. Most barely see sorcerers as anything other than something to fear. Even the twins and Cedric—They’re not wolves so they’re not important. Dad warned me, Rave, I just had no fucking idea what he meant. They talk like they’re meat. Meat that needs too much water to keep raise. Please, don’t do this.

Raven feels sick to his stomach, dizzy as he clutches the wall. Was that the sickness he had been feeling in the werewolves? Was it the indifference towards human life? Hatred. Was his townspeople to become cattle to the packs as their unrest and the drought grew? Could he stop them and the __ too? His mother hadn’t been able to. His parents, the Averys, and Pitts hadn’t been able to stop the packs when the darkness came. He had no one to back him, no one to support him, no one with power besides himself. Even Chris…

I can’t save you, Raven. Mr. __ contacted me yesterday. He wants another meeting. He’s a fair man…

He was a wolf. He would spend his days running around like a fucking wolf, dragging carcasses through the door to some shitty cabin and then running off again, as if his obligations as a husband were met with a slab of meat. There would be no conversations, no companionship, maybe a quick fuck if the shifter felt an urge towards him and who was even to say it would be enjoyable? Raven’s parents had been different. His father was pack but he had chosen to live with his mother as a human most of the times. He raised a family, spoke to them, showed them how to be more than feral animals. He had pushed for education—had wanted all the pack children to be educated. And they had for a while, they had, until the fire and the packs had decided the old ways were the only way to be. He had pushed as long as he could, had made sure Chris continued in school, had made his brother turn it into a pack event. But not all had gone for it. Meat. They were calling his humans meat.

When? he finally asked, trying to ignore the hollowness in his chest.

Sometime next week. He’s not like Tommy. He’s controlled. He would never harm you—

I know. Just tell me when and I’ll meet with him.

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SILVERBANE BK#1

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DRAFT SCENE 19

(So I feel like the story is just trying to crush Deon with the reality of magic here and he is not biting. WTF, right? Is it too weird that he can’t jump to a conclusion that maybe that pink cat is really a little girl? Not sure if it’s suspending disbelief by him being so quick to ignore what’s in front of his face.)

Deon drives the kids home, determined to see Raven. He needs to talk to the guy. It’s not Raven’s fault or shit, but fuck, maybe he might understand because he was so fucking confused. He lets them out of the car while staring at the kitten key charm he found at the studio, smirking at the pink sparkles. Yeah, it was the gayest fucking thing ever. He was just going to give the boy the damn charm and maybe talk to him a bit. Try and figure out just what the fuck was so appealing about him.

Raven’s house is crazy weird. It’s like dark, old school mansion out of a horror flick. Statues. In the back is the burnt remains of half the building. It used to be much bigger, and extra creepy because of it. Was it even safe to live there? The cost to keep it from all falling down must have been astronomical. Deon could expect the damn Frankenstein monster to come walking out the front door. He hits the door knocker, a butler, Haden, opening the door. He hadn’t been expecting that, the old guy stooped and kind of creepy looking. Almost not human…

Can he see Raven? He lost this and…

Haden lets him in, staring at him intensely. Did the guy blink ever? A cat runs by, all black and beautiful. He stares after, kneeling down to gently coax it from under the chair. Don’t be afraid of him. He might look big and all but he’s a sweetheart. Pets the kitten, the creature purring and rubbing against his ankle. Sweet thing.

It has a doll head in its mouth, the same doll he had seen Sasha carrying earlier. Another cat running up pink and angry. Hissing, it runs out of the room followed by the pink one. Moments later two kids run around the door, twin boy and girl fighting about a doll. Deon stares, his mind spinning. How many pink cats could there be out there? Maybe Raven had dyed both of them? He talks to Bryce, asking kindly for the doll head. It was something their mother had given Sasha before she died and one of the few things left to remember them by.

Raven comes walking up dressed in a corset and hip hugging leather pants with a choker, hair in pigtails with pink and silver highlights. Eyes wide, Deon can only stare, Sasha holding onto his arm and smiling up at Raven. Is this his new boyfriend? He’s nice to Marina (the doll head.) Flushing, Deon stands, feeling sucked in to the ease of the family and uncomfortable by it. Sorry, I would have had them home sooner if I knew you were going out. Didn’t mean to keep you waiting.

What? Raven looks down, seeing how he’s dressed. There really aren’t a lot of places to go out around here. I just dress like this… he trails off, blushing slightly and Deon can’t help but wonder if it was for him.

Oh. Shaking himself, Deon pulls the phone charm from his pocket and holds it up to Raven. He found this at the studio. It’s his, pretty sure. A long moment, then Raven beams, taking the charm from him. Thanks. I’d been looking everywhere. It’s my favorite and they’re really hard to find the pink ones. Yeah, well, it, uh, suits you so I knew it was yours… Listen, do you have a pronoun preference or something? I don’t want to say the wrong thing.

Staring for a long moment, Raven shrugs. I’m a guy, man, that’s all. You wouldn’t be the first to be confused. I like the clothes, like the colors, like guys looking at me. I don’t do it to fuck with people’s heads, it’s really how I feel comfortable.

Well, you uh, look it. Comfortable—amazing. Absolutely flustered, Deon waves his hand to explain, only to slam it into the banister and swear.

Raven bites his lip, fighting back a grin. He catches his hand, looking it over carefully, gently running his fingers over the bruise. Does it hurt? Deon shakes his head, unable to speak. He had it bad. Really fucking bad. Just touching the boy had him feeling hot and wild.

Raven nods towards the rest of the house. Are you thirsty, maybe?

Uh, sure. I’m not interrupting you, am I?

Nah, I got dinner ready—gives the kids a look, Bryce whooping when he realizes food is ready. Wash your hands! Raven hollers as the kids run off. He was just doing a spell but it seems he doesn’t need it.

A spell? What is he, a witch?

Sorcerer, actually. Raven seems serious and Deon blinks.

Oh. What was the spell he was trying to do? Can he see?

Raven nods, handing a bottle of water. Sure, it’s up in his room.

Raven’s room is a weird mix of gothy and girly, flashes of pink sparkles among black and silver. Has a gazillion drippy candles and skulls. What was that spell again, Deon asks while staring at leather lined silver cuffs and chains on his wall.

He was looking for his charm. Points him to a candle still lit.

Oh, grins. Well he must be really good at magic.

Smirking back, Raven nods. He is.

Deon touches the cuffs, then a whip, biting his lip as he does. His room is, uh, interesting.

Raven comes up behind him, grabbing one of the chains and Deon’s wrist. Gasping, Deon stares as his hand is cuffed, his breath caught in his throat. They’re solid silver.

Why?

Sometimes werewolves, the young ones, go crazy during the moon. It’s good to have something just in case they need to be separated until they’re safe to be let free.

You know a lot of werewolves?

Too many. Deon thinks he’s joking but isn’t sure, Raven’s voice so steady.

Has he ever been tied up?

No.

What about whipped?

Swallowing hard, Deon shakes his head, Raven locking his other wrist in place. Is this… Is this why he’s dressed like that? Does he like to, uh, whip people?

Grinning, Raven gives a soft chuckle that goes right to his dick. He steps away, bending over and picking up a pair of tall leather boots with a heel. What does he think?

They’re nice.

Nice? Geez, he should like let him go right now, huh? Nice. Steps up to Deon, grabbing his wrist. When Deon goes to move it he can really feel how he can’t move, trapped, his pulse increasing. They’re better than nice.

Deon agrees. They’re really sexy. Like him… really sexy.

Staring at Deon a long time, lips close to his, Raven finally speaks. How does he feel about pain?

He uh… He doesn’t know. Pain doesn’t really bother him. He’s kinda graceless.

Yeah? Maybe he could like it?

I don’t…

If he did it to him?

He’s pretty sure he’d like anything Raven does to him. Smirking, Raven leans up against him.

He’s really sweet. Hot and sweet. He came all the way out here just to give him his charm back and he thinks that might deserve a reward.

Deon is pretty damn sure he doesn’t care what the fuck Raven is, he wants him.

He has to think he’s weird.

Deon likes weird… but Raven isn’t weird.

Pressing up tighter to Deon, Raven kisses his cheek. Will he let him whip him?

Meeting his eyes, danger and excitement filling him, Deon nods.

Grinning, Raven unhooks his wrist, pushing him around. Deon gasps, the boy surprisingly strong. Gasping, his shirt is pulled off. He’s strong, such nice shoulders, fingers moving over his muscles. His wrist is connected again to the cuff. Raven’s hands keep running over his back, his shoulders, neck, spine. Runs the narrow part of his waist, fingers moving down to his hips, running over his sharp hipbones.

Fuck, Deon gasps, hard and feeling Raven hard against his ass. Never felt that before, another guy’s dick against him. It was strange, made him hot.

He’s brave to let a total stranger chain him up in the middle of nowhere. It’s a big house and no one comes by. He could do anything to him if he wanted to. And he wants to. He’s a really sexy guy and he’d like to do a lot of bad things to him. Grasps his hips tight, rubbing up against him.

Groaning, Deon pushes back, panting softly, head down, rock hard.

What if he just kept him here? Tied up in his room? He could do whatever he wanted to him. Whenever he felt like it. Would he like that?

He’s not sure.

Well let’s see. Don’t turn his head, he’s going to get something.

Raven moves away, Deon listening intently, his mind spinning. Fuck, what is he doing? He’s so hard, feeling really crazy.

Raven comes back, fingertips brushing his hip, palm cupping his ass and squeezing. He has a nice body. Hard. Tight. No, don’t turn. Presses up against him, his hand hovering above his back. Drips hot red wax down his back, just a dribble, Deon gasping in surprise and pain.

How’s that feel?

Intense. Really… really intense.

Does he like it?

Uh… He’s not sure.

Kisses the back of his neck. Let’s see.

Does another splash, Deon groaning and jerking. He looks really good like that. Really hot. Grabs his ass, squeezing right before another drip.

F-Fuck!

He likes how he looks at him. Likes how much he can see he wants him. Does he want to be his boyfriend? He looks at him like he wants to be with him. That he really likes him. Teases another dribble while Deon hisses, his tongue sliding over the cool, bubbled wax.

The thing is… He thought he was a girl at first.

Raven stills, sighing in exasperation. He knows he’s not now, right? Rubs his dick against his ass, Deon groaning.

Yeah… he, uh, figured it out. It’s just something he’s trying to get used to.

Is he straight?

He thought he was. Just… Raven makes him feel crazy. Like nothing he’s ever felt before.

But he doesn’t know if he likes dick, right? Cus he has a dick. He likes his dick and has no interest in getting rid of it no matter how he chooses to dress.

That’s fine… It’s just something he’s trying to get used to. He likes him… a lot. He’s just trying to figure shit out.

Raven unlocks the boy’s wrists, still leaning against his back. He doesn’t like bullshit. He likes guys that know what they want. He doesn’t like to waste his time. Stands on tiptoes, dick rubbing against him harder, chest tight against him, Deon groaning as he whispers in his ear. Let him know when he figures his shit out. He doesn’t usually give guys a second chance but he’s going to make an exception. He’s sweet, and he’s smart, and he likes him. He doesn’t mind waiting. How’s that sound? Steps back, turning Deon slowly.

Deon looks up at him through his lashes, his face and neck flushed, breath strained. He’s hard, his eyes dark and dazed. Raven looks amazing, not as cool and collected as he sounds, his cheeks flushed, hair askew and very hard.

He ever kiss a boy? Deon shakes his head, his no coming out hoarse.

Raven kisses the corner of his mouth, Deon exhaling shakily, his hands coming up to grasp the boy’s waist. Raven lingers, Deon getting up his nerve, lips finding his. It’s hot, wet, Deon groaning and supporting Raven when the boy leans against him, lapping tongues. Raven’s dick moving against his feels dirty, confusingly hot. His hands move lower, rubbing over Raven’s ass, pulling their hips together. Raven’s getting into it, whimpering when Deon turns them, slamming the boy up against the wall and kisses down his neck. Raven grabs his hand, leading it down between them until he’s rubbing his palm against his dick.

Deon meets his eyes, watching Raven gasp and cry out, his head tilting back. He’s so fucking hot, it was almost easy to forget what he was doing to get him to look like that. He wants to see him look like that. Wants to get him off. And it’s not like he doesn’t know how to get a dick off. Pressing harder up against Raven, he watches him intently, eyes drifting over his face to his mouth while unzipping him. His flesh is so hot, so smooth, so hard, there’s just something so dirty about what he’s doing. His head feels different, the angle different from his own. Runs his thumb in small circles, loving the sweat, the cries, the way he knows Raven is close. When he cums it’s confusing, Deon feeling so hot to know he had done that to the boy, had gotten him off, had gotten his cum all over his fingers.

Doesn’t know where to put his hand afterward, Raven grabbing it and pulling it up. Covered in his cum, the fluid wet and cooling, Deon blushing when he sees it. Raven is watching his face carefully, his eyes slitted in lust. Presses Deon’s hand to Deon’s mouth, cum streaking over his lips. His other hand is in Deon’s jeans, the boy stroking him while watching his expression. Want a blow?

Y-Yeah, okay, if you want.

Then lick the rest of his cum.

Blushing hotly at the command, Deon isn’t sure if it’s what he’s demanding or that he’s demanding it that’s hotter. Hesitantly, Deon does, flushed when Raven pushes his fingers into his mouth.

Don’t be neat about it. Messy is good. Messy, dirty… He likes dirty guys. Likes getting them dirty, likes the dirty things they do to him. Deon feels faint, unable to get enough of Raven, licking his fingers and opening for more. What the fuck is the guy doing to him?

Raven cuffs him after whirling Deon and pushing him against the wall. Raven pulls his pants down his thighs, getting to his knees, Deon groaning at the sight, wishing he could move his hands so he could touch the boy. Raven has the dirtiest mouth, tonguing, lewd and clearly enjoying what he does. Deon is weak in the knees, his gaze caught on Raven’s face and nowhere else. Sexy, dirty, hot. He’s so hard it hurts. A finger teases across his entrance, Deon gasping, blushing, not sure how he feels about that but Raven takes him deep at the same time, pushing his finger in up to the first knuckle, Deon coming from the sensation. Raven drinks him down shamelessly, saliva dripping from the corner of his mouth, his hair mussed, cheeks flushed. Gets up, tongue lapping out to move over Deon’s tasting his cum on him. He’s big, thick, and has so much cum.

Fuck, Raven…

Figure out his sexuality quick because he wants him.

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SILVERBANE BK#1

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DRAFT SCENE 8

(Do we want to add any indication that Raven and tech might have problems mixing? He’s all over his phone… I want something about his magic needing to be hidden when he’s around normals and outsiders. Raven is very resistant to being perceived or pretending to be anything but who he is, so if he has to pretend, he hates it.)

Follow Raven. Out the front door as he decides he’s going home, his temper flaring. Why he bothers with school when so much is weighing on him, why he plays this fucking part of being so goddamn perfect at every turn. For them. For this entire fucking town. To keep them safe, keep them hidden, protected, and allowed to be whatever kind of freak they wanted. But they couldn’t do the same for him. They couldn’t let him be him, they kept demanding of him. Kept asking him to fit into something he was never going to be. He had given enough! Had played parents to his siblings, had done everything to prepare Chris for his pack life while also doing what was required of him. When was it his turn to have a fucking life! Snarling, he slams through the school gate only to nearly trip over a backpack, stumbling and gasping as his heel suddenly snaps and he goes tumbling towards the ground.

Shit, you okay? Hands grabbed him roughly around the shoulder, Raven stopping his spell when he realized why he hadn’t sensed there was someone there. The new kid. The human. The one under his fucking radar but was apparently a fucking Avery, something Chris had intentionally left out even though the teacher had looked him in the eye when saying his name because Mr.__ knew this was shit he needed to know. The kid was old blood even if he was just a human. One of them if the town accepted him. He lets himself be lifted, sucking his breath in when he meets Deon’s surprised eyes. Trouble. Outsiders were trouble. Outsiders that made his heart skip and mouth dry were probably the most dangerous.

Are you okay—

Fine. Reaching down, Raven snapped the heel off of both his shoes, knowing he could repair them in an instant once away from the boy. His ankle stung a little—something harder to heal but it wasn’t the end of the world. Goes to walk home, ignoring the boy.

Deon waits a beat, then follows after. I have a car—my aunt’s. I can drive you to whereever it is your heading.

I’m fine.

You’re limping. Glaring, Raven bit back his retort of how that wouldn’t be an issue if the kid would fuck off and let him do magic in peace. I’m in a really pissy mood and I want to be alone, he snapped instead.

Oh. Waiting a beat, Deon holds his hand up, an mp3 player in his grasp. I wouldn’t say anything if you don’t want. You could just listen to music. No offense but you guys have shit for radio out here.

Raven sighs, turning back and slowly walking to the boy. Yeah, it sucks. Having to listen to __ all day bitching about his cattle or the early frost is a total snooze. Deon looks at him curiously, Raven finally answering. If you don’t mind driving me just to my house.

Your house? Not a date?

Raven glances over his shoulder, fighting a smirk when he realizes he caught the boy checking him out. Deon coughs, blushing and looking away.

You uh, you look dressed like you’re going out. Must be a lucky guy.

No guy, I just like dressing like this.

True to his word, Deon didn’t talk much, just plugged the mp3 player in and handed it over to Raven, only speaking up once and a while to ask where he was going. Raven couldn’t help but appreciate it, sinking back into the seat while flipping through the kid’s music selection. It was a magic all its own, new sounds and melodies he hadn’t ever heard.

Raven remembers again what he’s pissed about as he sees an image on the player of a hot girl, his anger flaring. He puts the mp3 player down, growling softly. Deon glances his way and suddenly R hates the silence. He’s in a car with a hot guy and everything is way too fucking quiet. Starts asking Deon questions about himself. How he got all his music. What does he think about the way the musicians in some of the bands dress. Do you think they’re unprofessional for looking like that?

Deon has a slow, rather intelligent answer basically saying for a musician it would be unprofessional for them to dress like normal people. They need to stand out. They need the world to see them and know that they have something beautiful and creative inside, otherwise it’s just going to go unnoticed and that’s a fucking crime. Some people need to be loud, it’s just who they are.

Are you a loud guy? Nah. He… Fuck, he doesn’t even know the sound of his voice most days, he says, darkness shadowing his eyes for a moment.

Raven is suddenly really curious about him, turning from the window to look him up and down. Maybe you need to start shouting more.

Deon glances his way, biting at his lower lip. I really don’t have anything to say. I’m just… just trying to figure out who I am. Not like you.

Like me?

Yeah. You know who you are and you’re not afraid about it. Hell, you have no problem changing your clothes in the middle of the day just to show it. That’s cool shit.

Realizes he had changed, remembers he had made himself look as trashy as possible just to piss off his brother. Suddenly feels self conscious about it not wanting Deon to think of him like that. You don’t think it’s too slutty? He asks, hating the insecure edge to his voice.

Slutty? Deon raises a brow, frowning slightly. Slutty is more a way a person acts, not the clothes they wear. And really, that’s usually immature people saying shit that can’t handle someone else’s sexuality.

What, so you don’t believe in sluts?

Back where I’m from, girls could wear damn near anything and depending on how they acted was really how you knew them. Some girls, they threw themselves at guys like that was the only way they were important. You might call them slutty… more desperate. Sad, although to be clear, my friends didn’t agree with me. Those kinds of girls wouldn’t care if a guy hurt them, they just wanted to feel needed too much to care. Other girls, they could walk around damn near naked and it didn’t matter what a guy said or did, she knew herself and he wasn’t getting near her without her word. She didn’t need a guy to make her know she was beautiful or important. Glances at R again then back at the road. Like you.

Feeling ridiculously warm, Raven pointed his house out, butterflies dancing in his stomach. You date a lot back home?

I have a fucked up mom, Deon said abruptly, stopping in front of Raven’s house. Not really a situation I wanted to bring anyone home to.

But now you’re living with your aunt.

Yeah. For now. Deon had gotten tight lipped but Raven really wasn’t ready to leave. He liked talking to the kid.

You planning on staying a while?

Long enough for school, at least. I really want to get some college. Figure out what I want. But I don’t know how long I’ll be here.

So a girl could walk around near naked and you wouldn’t think any less of her for it? He asked quietly.

Not my place to judge someone on how they look. If she’s happy with how she’s dressed then I imagine it must be a good thing.

What about a guy? Do you think guys are total sluts when they go walking around in short skirts and high heels?

Blinking, Deon tilted his head, grinning slightly. Don’t really have much of an opinion on that either, to be honest. I don’t do it myself but if that’s what a guy wants to do, that’s his business. If he’s happy, it must be a good thing.

The kid was both brilliant and fucking oblivious in the same breath and Raven was suddenly really annoyed by it. Why he gave a fuck what this total stranger thought of him dressing like a chick was beyond him but here he was, dropping hints like a motherfucker. And for whatever reason, Deon couldn’t figure it out. It wasn’t like he looked super girly. Well, not usually. He wasn’t super thin, he had some muscle on his arms and he never pretended to have breasts. His ass was as flat as his chest and he was taller than most chicks. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of being a guy, he loved his fucking dick, he loved his body but suddenly he was holding back on telling this kid when normally he wouldn’t even consider hiding it. He realized with a start it was because he was afraid Deon would stop looking at him the way he had that day. The secret glances, the sweet blushes, the damn near hungry look in his eye on more than one occasion. The fact that the kid was sitting stiffly, full of tension like he might break if Raven so much as brushed up against him. It made him feel powerful in a way he wasn’t used to, desired, beautiful and important to this young man and he didn’t want to lose that feeling.

How old are you? Raven asked, wondering if he’d be able to pull up the kid’s birthday and do a reading on him once alone.

Hesitating, Deon finally answers. 24. I’m starting college late.

Raven nods, offering after a moment, I started late too. It’s my last year and I’m 25.

Looking over at him again, Deon nods slowly. Fucked up parents?

Dead. I took time off to make sure my younger siblings were adjusting. But a lot of the students end up working on the farms with their parents so you’ll find all ages at the college.

Ah.

Suddenly feeling uncomfortable again, Raven undoes his seatbelt. He didn’t want to talk about his parents. It only reminded him of the shit he was now stuck in. Thanks for the drive.

No problem. Stares straight ahead when Raven gets out of the car, the kid looking like he was deep in thought. Raven pauses, leaning on the seat until Deon turned his way.

And for listening. You’re a cool guy, Deon, even if you’re not loud. It doesn’t mean there isn’t something inside you worth sharing with the world.

He slipped away before the boy could respond, Deon’s eyes filled with something that made his heart ache. Fuck, he probably shouldn’t be looking into the kid’s eyes. Probably shouldn’t be talking sweet shit and not telling him he was a dude in a fucking dress.

Watching as the car pulled away, Raven made a promise that he’d do it the next time he saw the kid. It was wrong to fuck around with his heart. It wasn’t like they could be anything. He was being a selfish ass and it would be best to just deal with it sooner rather than later. Sighs heavily, turning to his house.

un-7

SILVERBANE BK#1

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DRAFT SCENE 7

(Ha, still love this scene. We get threads of expected marriage, alphas, lineage. Again, the question is do we want to spell it out or leave people guessing as they watch the story unfold? I’m so used to info dumps and finding a balance is still a dilemma. How much do we need to know and when to keep the story interesting?)

Raven’s pov:

Pissed off, stomping through the school fresh from lunch. Tommy’s been bugging the fuck out of him, along with a few of the kid’s immediate pack and his stomach is swirling. Fucking werewolves. Fucking adolescent werewolves that think that they can muscle into a fucking heart instead of dealing with things properly. Runs into Chris, chasing his brother down when they see each other. He needs to deal with this fucking Tommy situation or he’s going to and he’s not going to be nice about it. Chill, the kid is just crushing. He’ll get over it.

He hit a fucking Sentry, Chris. He’s lucky he didn’t go to the Elders and get the kid exiled or killed. Tommy knows the fucking consequences. He’s crossing a line and this pursuit is only going to make it worse.

Chris makes a comment about maybe Raven could stop dressing in a way that’s making Tommy fucking crazy.

What, he’s asking for it?

He didn’t say that… just, he looks like a fucking slut and he’s not making this shit easier on himself. Even the new fucking kid is looking at him.

He is? Small smile to himself. Who is he?

No one and don’t even think of messing with the damn ignorant thing. The kid’s so dense he thinks he’s a chick. Just imagine if he finds out he’s a sorcerer and the fucking brother of the next packleader.

Raven scowls to realize Deon thinks he’s a chick.

Seriously, Raven, change your fucking clothes. They’re never going to find the boy a mate if every gay guy in the area thinks he’s got a fucking vag.

Why? Why the fuck should he change how he looks for someone that’s supposed to fucking love him, huh?

Yeah, well why can’t he just look like a normal fucking guy?

Fuck you, this is my normal. This is who I am.

Yeah, well everyone else that’s normal like that is a girl. Why don’t you just—

What? Pretend I’m a fucking girl? I have to hate my dick just because I love how I look in these clothes? Who the fuck are you to tell me what clothes belong on what fucking gender? They’re just pieces of fucking material. Why the fuck should I define my goddamn gender and orientation just because how I look tends to look like a chick?

Because you’re choosing to look like that. You’re choosing to look like a woman—

No, I’m choosing to look fucking amazing. Too fucking bad if it’s the same goddamn ‘uniform’ that’s referred to as ‘female.’ This is who I fucking am, Chris. Stop asking me to be something else!

Just tone it down. The only reason Tommy is on his ass with no competition is because the older, controlled wolves don’t want to be around someone that looks like trouble like him. Just play is cool for a bit and then he can dress how he wants. I got a prospective mate for you Wednesday, Mr__. You know, maybe a year after the wedding.

His glower growing, Raven spells up a mirror on the wall. Staring at his reflection, he points at his hair, hot cotton candy pink highlights streaking through his sleek black locks. He pulls them up into two pigtails on top of his head, then spells on a matching color lipstick with high gloss. With a shake of his skirt, he goes from a long sleek skirt to a leather mini, his tights patterned with pink skulls to end in thigh high leather boots with a stiletto heel. This man enough for him?

Goddamn it, Rave, stop being such a selfish bitch and think of the fucking pack for a change.

If the pack can’t accept him for who he is then why the fuck should he do a goddamn fucking thing for them? No one made their mom change her fucking clothes or ever talked down about her hair or looking too fucking girly or butch or whatever the fuck.

Mom didn’t look like a fucking stripper slash pornstar!

It shouldn’t fucking matter! Let them protect themselves for a fucking change. Oh wait, they can’t because none of them have even an ounce of the magic he does! If they don’t like it, they can go fuck themselves.

Raven, just for a little while—

No, he’s done with this bullshit. He should have made a stand with Tommy. He’s done being a fucking pawn. With three inch hot pink nails, Raven flips his brother off while walking away.