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New Freebies Of The Month! 💋

It’s my anniversary!

8 years now—and let me say what a fucking achievement that is. I started dating Brian 8 years ago during a time when my PTSD was out of control, my parents were recently dead, and I was just a few months out of pulling myself free of homelessness, a psych ward, and an ex girlfriend/borderline drug addict. I was quite clearly not looking for love. Love didn’t give a fuck; it never does.

Through our long term relationship, we both learned about a year in (once the honeymoon phase was over) that living for another person was going to kill us both. XD Seriously, don’t do this. I know it is so easy; we were young and everything around said to be a ‘couple was to compromise who you are.’ No. Fucking no. That’s a compromise on the ego, not a compromise about taking care of yourself and ignoring who you are, and too few people understand that. Your partner does not exist to complete you, complement you, share your interests, or hold your hand through life. They exist, you exist, and where you meet in the middle is fucking awesome but if you force the two of you to stay there 24-7, the rest of you will atrophy and die until that relationship is an ugly wound of bitterness and hate. Relationships are non-entities; don’t turn them into something bigger than the beings meeting and loving.

It took us a few years to figure that all out, and then I got sick. Four years of sick. Four years, to the point that I try not to call Brian my boyfriend lately because I still have it in my head that any kind of attachment to me while I was a sliver of my former self is just going to drag him into misery and illness. The last year of me regaining health has also been a very tentative year of renaming how we see each other. And it’s going to continue to be a slow process because some shit just doesn’t change over night. I watched 4 vibrant beings be consumed by illness and eventually die, and I am well aware from the outside it was what I looked like. Until I got that mold toxicity diagnosis and actually started to treat my severe allergies, we had no idea why all my other treatments weren’t working and it was just waiting to see when it was going to end. That is a lot of weight to put on the people who love me. Four years of that weight.

There are a lot of things in life we don’t get to choose, but we’re still around to experience. I have had the opportunity to watch an amazing man struggle, grow stronger, and find himself while the world shakes around us. His resilient spirit and easy laugh has made the overwhelming bearable, even though I fear he sacrificed too much of himself in his need to save me. It’s that thing we do where we live through others and ignore our own needs. I still have the greatest joy when I see the ones I love succeed and find peace with their inner demons. Even though I’m dedicated to growing and being the best person I can be, a part of that is so the people around me won’t suffer by being around the not so great me who shows up once in a while.

Puerto Rico

It’s going to be months before Puerto Rico has their electric grid up. Since Fema has been removing data of what’s happening from their own website, I thought I’d share the Puerto Rico website where you can get the stats on their situation and a way to donate. It’s actually pretty interesting to see their goals, priority being clean water. It’s really easy to take that tap water for granted until you lose it and you’re dehydrating.

I feel like I’ve spent the last 6 months watching and growing used to Trump being a toddler. Every time he acts out, the consequences never seem to follow the way we fear. Puerto Rico isn’t the same, and I think it’s important to remind us all of that. Trump refusing to even look the German Chancellor in the eye like some petulant child even though she’s been called the leader of the free world won’t result in the possible devastation that can happen on one small island if they don’t get the help they need. It’s really easy to put our energy into our anger and outrage instead of into being constructive. It’s human nature, like mob mentality. It’s easy to feed the reaction to the outrageous instead of doing something about it. We’re better than that, but it takes waking up to realize it. If I donated a nickel for every time I said something bad about Trump, well, I’d be broke, that’s for sure. XD

So, if you’re wondering how to channel your rage after seeing Trump go down to Puerto Rico, have himself a self-congratulatory circle jerk, and then leave four hours later, I suggest donating. You’ll feel like you’re doing something instead of stewing in bitterness and misery.

Website stuff

Freebie of the Month is The Autumn Prince! I’ve added Liem’s story from Demon Bonded #9 in there too (which reminds me I haven’t updated the ARC site yet. @[email protected] So much stuff to remember. I need to start writing things down.) Hellcat has started. Subscribers can read as I write it up on the website. My goals are to get Intangible and Hellcat finished this month and hopefully republish City Howls so I can write the next episode.

Oh, Demencious Saga is published, so for those who don’t want to shell out for the first 4 episodes of Demon Bonded, you can get the bundle for cheap, basically 1/2 the price. I want to keep my focus on Hellcat and get that fic out by Halloween, so I don’t expect to have Apprentice Saga republished (it’s all about making a cover) until the beginning of September. Sorry for the delay, just, I can only juggle so much.

Don’t miss the books below. I hope you all have an amazing weekend. I’m going to be spending mine with Brian being a total nerd and loving it. <3

Demencious Saga by Sadie Sins

This book contains episodes #1-4 from Demon Bonded, titled ‘Something Waiting In The Dark,’ ‘Breathing Under The Bed,’ ‘The Killer Wardrobe,’ and ‘Magnificent Night,’ and includes the bonus episode, ‘Far From Home.’ Previously published from 2015-1016, these episodes have been reedited and republished.

Demencious Saga is the first saga in the mm erotic world of Demon Bonded. This serial is a fun, suspenseful play on monster collecting and male harems. Expect demon bonding, master/slave relationships of mild and abusive nature, multiple partners, magical powers, learning how to be a sorcerer, and conflict with crueler demon masters.


College Omega’s Secret Baby by Dex Bass

Alpha professor Alan Archer is king of his world, until a winsome nineteen-year-old omega freshman upends his confidence. Nobody talked to Professor Archer like that before. And Professor Archer never thought he could be attracted to a student. But freshman omega Os is so different from all the other students.

Os came to college to get away from the stigma of being an omega. Nobody knows how unsure of himself he used to be. Nowadays, he’s owning being an omega. Just barely, if his insecurities don’t eat him up.

Alan and Os’s professor-student love brings a pregnancy that has to be kept out of sight. Alan and Os manage college, busybodies, and all the travails of pregnancy, on their journey together to fatherhood and forever love.

College Omega’s Secret Baby is a non-shifter male pregnancy romance with a sweet college student, an arrogant professor, endless cuddling, a secret pregnancy, pink-nosed bunny slippers, an adorable baby girl, and a feel-good HEA.

Enemies With Benefits by Joanna Chambers and Annika Martin– Free

They’re dangerous men. Absolute enemies. And totally hot for each other.

Two years ago, the men in Will’s unit were killed in an ambush because they were betrayed. Now Will has a chance to go after the corrupt billionaire who sold them out.
One problem: the billionaire’s bodyguard. Nobody knows what he looks like; they only know him by the trail of bodies he leaves behind.

Will their passion destroy them both?

Kit’s a hardened assassin who’ll do what it takes to protect his boss. But when Will moves on the billionaire at an elite party, things with Will and Kit take an unexpected—steamy—twist.
Now Kit has to convince Will to walk away–from his quest for justice, and from the red-hot passion that’s spinning out of control.

Books, Giveaways, and Way Too Much Talking. 🐞


This might be a little long. I haven’t really caught up in a while and this week has been, well, a bit mad. XD

First, enter for Alina’s most recent giveaway before the clock runs out. It’s 14 Gay Vampire stories! One lucky winner takes all.

Amy’s Family Emergency

Holy crap, people. You seriously came through. That it didn’t even take a lot to help this girl and her family get her propane crisis taken care of is amazing. If you have ever looked at a mountain of $500 trying to get to the top when you have nothing to spare, that doesn’t just materialize. What a damn amazing thing.

Unfortunately, if you’ve been keeping track of Amy’s updates, her truck broke down a few days after the start of the go fund me and her family discovered some pretty severe health problems for her mother. At first, I seriously looked at this like a downpour of misery and despair. It’s so easy to feel like the world is kicking your ass, one attack after the other. I wish my mind didn’t automatically go there, right to the negative, because it’s not true.

The moment Amy reached out for help, the world started dumping, but it was right at the time when there are so many people that could help carry that weight when before it was just her and her family. A piece of a burden is so much lighter than many all on one back.

If you can spare anything, please go to Amy’s page and make a donation. It doesn’t take much when we all give a little but the end result is fantastic. If you can’t, please consider sharing her gofundme on facebook or twitter (or whatever social media is thriving now.) Every bit helps.

Book Covers by Rising Horse Creations

Okay, I started talking to an actual professional book cover designer. I reached out to her a while back, but she was seriously busy. She is still seriously busy but I have my fingers crossed she can fit me in.

I love her art. I saw her do these covers like years back before I was even thinking of writing and publishing and totally fell in love with her style. She’s only gotten better as the years have gone by, and I was shocked when I saw some of her more recent works. It’s still that same flare of paranormal elements and elegance, and oh my god, I gotta take a breath here. XD

So yeah, super excited. We’re talking about a ‘branding’ for The Paranormal Academy For Troubled Boys series. It’s really early in the brainstorming stuff (like probably a month before she can actually look at shit) but I don’t care! I feel like a kid waiting for a birthday surprise. It’s awesome.

If you want to check her out, she’s on facebook.

Website Updates

I was late today, still am seeing it’s nearly 8pm and I’m just getting this newsletter together. But, #4 is up for Fox Claims Vince, #64 for Sorcerer Slayer, #14 Intangible (should have #15 this weekend) and I put up two old M/F fics up there in the Library. Oh, and a new monthly freebie.

I’ve changed the layout to secure PDF’s instead of downloads. I thought about it a lot. I probably should have just started with them; I was stressed a lot when KU crashed on me and I had to scramble. But recently I found 25 (but in actuality, all but 2 of my books) on one of those book hack sites. Most had been there for a while, some as far back as 2015, but it got me thinking a lot.

The world is changing and it is not going back, only forward. So I can lament, or I can adapt. And if you don’t know me well, I am big on evolution. XD So let’s see how it goes. I think anything that turns my site into a hub where people have to come back to read, is good for. Helps people remember me, and that’s the big thing for an author; being remembered among the masses of amazing books out there.

My readers still get free stories, and can purchase the ones they really want to keep on their computers. I’m hoping that simple little price tag might be enough of a deterrent for the scammers. I’m not holding my breath; the world is full of unconscious people. It’s up to me how I want to feel about it.

Amazon KU, Going Wide and Fine Health From Here On Out (fingers crossed)

Not even joking. 3 days before all my books left KU, Amazon fixed their problem. My page reads jumped up and stabilized. Had only 2 books left in there, but whatever. I’m rethinking my strategy going forward.

Oh, I’m not giving Amazon my full attention anymore, fuck that. If you’re not schooled by being burned, then you’re never going to learn. But for those KU readers out there, I will be releasing books into KU when I first publish. After the 3 month forced exclusivity, I’ll pull the new book out and put it wide. That’s 3 months of my books in KU. A compromise I’m more than willing to make when KU actually works. Let’s hope by the time I get another book written and ready, KU will still be working.

Speaking of going wide, aka, getting books on other platforms, I’m looking at Pronoun to get the job done. They’re a cool self publishing tool that allows for some great pricing on books, including perma free. I’m just dragging my feet a little bit now that the time is here.
I need to edit the old books. I thought I could just move forward, ignore all the mistakes, but the reality is, I look at my old writing and I see me so ill and bed bound.

I’m sure no one else sees it, but I do. I don’t want to see that. I don’t want my first self published books to remind me every time of how freaking sick and certain I was of dying. Fuck that. So I’m starting with the series: Wounded Hearts, A Mate Of His Own, Dragon Shield and I’m going to be editing them a little at a time until they’re all done. Then the others.

Sometimes you have this ideal in your head you’re never going to reach and you can just let go. This time, it really feels like my sickness is haunting me and I want to break free and cut clean. I have time, I’m not dying—I actually feel damn amazing now that I’m back to the Autoimmune Protocol combined with the allergy shots. Haven’t even had shortness of breath in days, no brain fog, no wheezing. Outside of a fever, I’m fine and for all I know, the low grade fever is my thyroid kicking on again. My fevers are like a normal temp for most. Shit is good and I want to take this opportunity to form the future by choice instead of crazy reactions.


I started throwing some of my straight fics onto the website. I will eventually write a few more when I feel the mood. They just seemed lonely hanging out all alone. Yeah, it might lack a bit of focus seeing as it’s a MM site, but I’m an author in general with varied interests and it’s also about my writing. They’re well marked and easy to avoid (or find) depending.

I have an idea for a fmm that’s all outlined, probably a trilogy once I get through with it. Witch just waking to her powers while paranormals are being hunted, falls for two sexy (might be a form of vamp) paras in the cage. Witchhunters, kidnapping, gore. But I have a million ideas for MM so it’s hard to know what the hell will be next. I seriously have like 20 books outlined. I wish I had a system to write faster.

Maybe I do have a system and just don’t know it yet. I bet I could make a system… and then write a book about it. XD Ah, my wonderful monkey brain.

What The Fuck, Jeff Sessions?

And of course, a rant. XD

How many fucking people in this administration are going to play daddy for the entire country? Wagging their fingers and punishing people for having the gall to follow the constitution instead of them. What a scared, old man desperate for control.

You know how the big joke is all lawyers are going to hell? It’s not because they’re evil but because they take words that exist, ignore the spirit of what they mean, and just twist to get their way. The law becomes their playground while the importance of those laws are ignored. That’s what I feel like when I look at the current administration in office. They ignore the spirit behind our laws, our civil rights, our freedoms and twist to destroy the foundation of what this country is all about. And really, what the fuck are they so afraid of? They have so much money, so much power, so many worldly goods, and they are fucking scared shitless of gays, brown people and any religion that didn’t nail Jesus to a cross. What the fuck?

I feel like every single person in this world should have to live in absolute poverty for a year. Not as a punishment, not even as some sort of survival thing; it’s an easy wakeup call to yourself. Being poor, having nothing isn’t the end of the world. It doesn’t define you, it doesn’t change you, and it is not a life sentence. You know the difference when you see someone who has never really been stripped of the mundane and been forced to face themselves.

I find it so strange to see it in so many old, wealthy people. Always desperate to keep their head above water when they can’t even realize they’re on solid ground. The Great Depression wasn’t that many generations away but this is a lesson really learned by first hand. Poverty doesn’t kill you. Talking to strangers isn’t a death sentence. Having to walk outside your bubble and face another human who is different from you isn’t going to destroy you. Every single person is different no matter how similar they seem. You are alone and you are a part of the mass of humanity at the same time and this has been the case since people became self-aware.

It’s an epidemic that lives in the head, fear. It doesn’t matter how the world changes around us, people carry their view of the world everywhere they go. Some people could step into paradise and want to build a wall. Fuck, they made heaven a gated community without even confirming it existed. What a sad, pathetic way to live, never mind run a country.

It’s work, I know it. I fight it daily. But you can see the world as it is instead of what you fear. Life gets so much better when you give it a chance.

BR0TH3RLY $0.99

Tristan’s love life has one simple rule: his brother, Trevor, is off limits.

To fight his relentless love for Trevor, Tristan left for college at sixteen. A new city, building a new life for himself, and making new friends weren’t enough to give up what he considers sick, twisted feelings. Tristan even started an anonymous blog to cope with his love for his older brother. It made him famous on the Internet, but it wasn’t enough to get over his obsession.

Every time he goes home, a quick glance at Trevor brings it all flooding back.

When commitment-phobe Trevor introduces his serious boyfriend on one of Tristan’s rare visits home, things get a whole lot more complicated for the adoring kid brother. How far can Tristan run this time before he runs out of places to hide from his feelings?

Disclaimer: the main characters in the story are not blood relatives, the two boys were only raised as siblings.


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In this collection you will find:

The Vampire’s Bodyguard: Gay Vampire Werewolf Romance by Van Cole.

Vampire’s Magical Touch: Gay Vampire MPREG Romance by Van Cole.

Love Of A Vampire: Gay Vampire MPREG Romance by Van Cole.

Redemption: Gay Vampire Werewolf Romance by Van Cole.

Download this collection now and spice up your Kindle with these hot Gay Vampire romance reads.


This is a story about two men with dissimilar struggles in theirs lives, joined by the force of nature and kept together by their own irresistible passion.




14 Gay Vampire Books Giveaway

A MM Reading Coma of Deals

Hey, babes!

Whoot, what a week. Had one of those moments in therapy where I think I just deconstructed my trauma brain false reality and… yeah, we’ll see. Can’t stop laughing. Sitting above it, back in the body, back in the life. Can’t remember ever feeling quite this real. It’s amazing. It’s like waking up from a dream but I was dreaming life.

I feel so calm, like all my internal battles have just disintegrated. Fighting shadows no more and in doing so, I feel like my allergies have calmed in response. If our thoughts can be triggered by events and alter our brain chemistry to put us into a state of panic, then if we trigger our thoughts intentionally in positive ways, there’s no reason we can’t put our body into a state of rest and growth. For all I know, my autoimmune disorder came to be because I have been forever in a state of panic. Remove the panic and my body may be more open to stop literally attacking itself.

Let’s see… New stuff on the website. I added a FAQs page. It goes into specifics for login issues, password stuff, ARC stuff (guys, if you’re on my ARC list and haven’t signed up for the ARC portions of the site, email me! I’m a flake. Don’t assume I’ll remember this shit. >_<) Oh, so we’re up to Sorcerer Slayer #48, Intangible #10, Obsession #3 and Awakening #14. Lol, they feel like comic book episode numbers.

I’m going to be starting/continuing some new stuff on the writing front. So far, I’ve fallen into this habit of Sorcerer Slayer during the week, about… I wouldn’t call it chapters, but more I’ve been posting these ‘events.’ Almost episodes but they’re not restricted by the 10,000 word rule I have in that format for serials. And on the weekends, I’ve been posting Intangible updates, the free fanfic. I want to change that a bit. Or more, add to that. I like what I’m doing, I just feel like I’m not stretching myself the way I can—the way I enjoy. I want to start tackling the other serials.

I’ve been dealing with a lot of self imposed expectations about what this site is supposed to look like, and the reality is, it’s really tripped me up. ‘Supposed to’ is such a limiting, obnoxious phrase, I do wish I could just cut it out of my vocabulary and thinking. Sorcerer Slayer is still my main focus for paid, and Intangible for free, but don’t be surprised if you start seeing scenes pop up of the other stories in the paid category. This is the way I naturally write; I bounce from story to story. People just usually don’t get to see it, and my silly mind kept insisting they wouldn’t want to. They want focus! Well, I need my randomness to create and be joyful so you’re all now hostage to my muses as I create at the speed of me. Good luck with that. O_o

Scoured the web for some mm deals—there are a lot of quality $0.99 books this weekend. Nice. Also, you ever see the nicest reviews where a reader loves the fuck out of a book but only gives it 4 or 3 stars? Isn’t that just the most baffling thing ever? For an example, check out the reviews of Lace down below. Mindboggling. XD

Oh, and before I forget (like I did last week) You can snag Demon Arms and Robyn free from Smashwords. I figure you all probably have Demon Arms by now but just in case. Smashwords is doing a fabulous sale, hundreds to thousands of participating books marked down and free for the month of July. Check it out.

Demon Be Mine: Immortals Book One $2.99

After dying at the hands of Ryland Durand, Eli Peckard is thrust into a different universe, one that is familiar to his home of New Orleans, but scary all the same. Battered and bruised from his rough travels, he is accosted, and then rescued by Anasa, an official in The Realm. From there, Anasa delivers Eli to his most reliable Keeper, Zylen, to heal and teach him the ways of a Soul Catcher as the Dark Lord intends.

Zylen has lived his days in Nouvelle Terre as a Keeper for new fledglings. During his time on the third plane, Zylen has kept his hate for vampires, especially Ryland and his brother. However, being the child of a fallen and a vamp, Zylen still beholds emotions of remorse and empathy for the mentally fragile soul, Eli Peckard, and those feelings transform into something more.

Eli’s insecurities and Zylen’s anxieties over crossing the line of teacher and apprentice might be an obstacle in their budding union. More importantly, Zylen’s instruction for Eli must include lessons that teach the newest souled demon how to survive the final challenge before gaining the ultimate prize.

WARNING: Potential triggers. Mentions of child abuse and rape. Graphic violence

Lace (The Vampire-Fairy Series Book 1) $0.99

Can a human and an immortal find love in a world where they are sworn enemies?

Lace is an immortal from another dimension on Earth. His world is slowly disintegrating, and he and thousands of other immortals have been fleeing into the human dimension for years.

The hitch is humans have found out about them, labeled them “vampires”, and fear has driven their governments to wage war on these beautiful beings.

The story of Lace begins when he wakes, memory-less, in a secret military prison and meets Firi, someone who is familiar to him, someone he desperately needs to remember.

A male/male romance about secrets that can get you killed, impossible rescues, and old lovers who cannot be trusted.

Guarding Mr. Fine (Tough Love) $0.99

In this steamy novel of seduction and international intrigue, two brave men are stripped of their defenses—and exposed to dangers and desires that simmer below the surface.

As an agent with the CIA’s special activities division, Seth Lang lives for risk—and yet he’s stuck playing bodyguard to the U.S. consul general in Munich. Although Seth’s last assignment nearly killed him, babysitting some desk jockey in a suit sounds way too easy. But when he lays eyes on the new top man, tactical expert Rick Fine, Seth’s thrilled to see just how hard this job is going to get. Mr. Tall, Dark, and Quiet has a body worth guarding—and he requires hands-on attention day and night.

Dispatched to a German consulate to expose the murder of his predecessor, Rick finds himself in an extremely vulnerable position. He needs a man like Seth—in so many ways. This mission will inevitably plunge them both into jeopardy, but each new threat only brings them closer. Rick just hopes that he can keep his deepest, darkest secret hidden—or else risk imperiling a relationship they’re both fighting for their lives to protect.

Wanted Omega: (M/M Mpreg Shifter Romance) Summerwood Wolves Book 3 $0.99

Avery had never had a home before, unless he counted the northern wilds. Always moving from one place to the next, the idea of a permanent home was foreign and almost unwelcome. So when his brother settles them down with the Summerwood Pack, he finds the adjustment almost unbearable. At least he would if it weren’t for a certain dark and alluring alpha. Although Jarrett is reluctant to let him in, Avery’s determined to give him what they both need.

After the death of their father, Jack and JJ have their mates and children to get them through the heartache. Jarrett…doesn’t. Lonely and heartbroken, the once carefree alpha struggles with each new day, yet at the same time, he’s determined to hide his emotions and deal with his loss alone. At least he would, if a certain socially awkward and endearing omega would stop following him around. But the more Avery pushes his way into Jarrett’s life, the harder it becomes for Jarrett to keep up his carefully crafted walls.

But just as love blooms and hearts start to heal, a new threat arrives at the gates. A decade long search comes to an end.

Writer’s Block $0.99

A failed television scriptwriter from LA, finding solace in his New York City home.

A stellar, tattooed, star-writer named Will, with ego and unending cockiness.

A chance encounter at a Brooklyn bar, with life-altering consequences.

Tyler affirms, he’s not gay. His obsessive thoughts about Will are crazy, aren’t they? As his feelings mount, Tyler must face the truth about himself and question what he wants his future to be. Can he survive without the fire of Will’s personality? Can he survive without being true to himself?

Please Note: This book contains Adult Language & Steamy Adult Activities, it is intended for 18+ Adults Only. Novella, approx. 30,000 words in length. HEA (happy ever after ending). Does not end with a “cliffhanger”. GFY (Gay For You) theme.

Fated Mates $0.99

I am desperate to find my one true mate.

I am getting older, most werewolves my age have already found their mate and began to start their family. But no matter how hard I search among my fellow shifters, I cannot find the man that is destined to be mine. I am beginning to feel more and more hopeless every day.

Until the day I finally catch the scent of my future mate. But, to my surprise, the man whom I know is destined to be my mate isn’t another werewolf at all. He’s a human named Daniel. This is completely unprecedented in my society, a werewolf has never mated with a human before. Still, I know he is mine. My primal instincts tell me that he is, and they are never wrong.

And I am going to love and protect him no matter what…

My Beloved’s Wedding (Second Chance Mates 6) $0.99

With Maddy’s help, and a little sooner than I expected, I proposed to Sterling. And now, suddenly, I’m dropped into a totally different world. A world of venues, tuxes and flowers. So many things I never considered, but I’ll do anything for Sterling.

Having a wedding once was magical, but this one is a little bittersweet. So many reasons to do this and not all happy. But I don’t care. I’m going to make this the best wedding ever. I’m going to make this memorable for all the good reasons. Because with everything that happened, we really do need some happiness.

This is the sixth part of Second Chance Mates, which takes place in a non-shifter Alpha/Omega or Omegaverse world and contains mpreg (male pregnancy).

Smashwords Freebies

Demon Arms 20


In the darkness, Wylie found his dragon. The creature was longer here, with pure sinew muscle and sharp, deadly edges coated in a black rainbow of scales. Its eyes glowed an icy blue with teeth long and sharp as it glared back at him from beneath heavy horns.

It was Wylie’s first glimpse of the beast inside. He could taste blood. Somewhere metal liquid dripped from his lips. He wondered blearily if he was dying.

Do you accept me?

He stared into the glowing eyes. It took long moments for him to understand the creature’s words. “Accept?”

The dragon uncoiled and rose up. It was sleek, shimmery and far larger than Wylie had ever conceived. Its talons were out, scales puffed and dangerous, with limbs tight with restrained force. It towered above. He could see its wings now; they were thin black membrane stretched over hollow bones that the beast flexed.

I asked you once before, human. When I awoke from the darkness, I asked for you to join me. You refused.

Wylie could vaguely remember ten years ago. He fainted moments before attacking the revolting man who hurt his sister. There was something in the darkness behind his eyes. Something with glowing white glare and frightening teeth.

Had he not accepted? Was that his problem all along? Was it why other shifters were taken over by their beasts while he couldn’t fully transform? He didn’t remember refusing the dragon, but still, he remembered his fear.

The dragon was still terrifying even now so many years later, but Wylie was no longer afraid. He had met other shifters who lived with their beasts. Theodore, who housed just as dangerous a dragon inside, helped people every day. He met Dorian, who fought a magic inside him so powerful, it would make him a killer if he ever let it loose.

If he was going to die, Wylie wanted to be whole for the first time.

He reached his hand out to brush razor sharp scales. They smoothed at his touch. “I accept you.”

Wylie awoke to a terrible pain, not in his chest but his head. Black bone pierced through his skin, twisted up and wrapped back. He could feel the dragon claw through him and reform his body from the inside out. His back gave a terrible crack. Wings slick with blood tore free while he screamed. His tail swiftly followed. The new limb thrashed on the ground as Wylie twitched in pain. The darkness loomed and threatened to drag him back down.

“Fuck.” His back twitched again. Fluffy, pure white hair itched as it grew down his spine from his head all the way to the tip of his tail. He stared blankly at his hand; his talons looked more deadly than before and covered in his own blood. Surely now his demon arms were complete and the rest of him was just as terrifying to match.

Warmth slowly teased through him. The pain abated with each stronger breath he took. He raised heavily to his hands and knees, with head bowed to watch the holes in his chest change. Two small, bloodied slugs pushed free from his flesh and scales and glinted as they clattered to the ground.

What the fuck? Wylie tried to remember what Theodore told him about dragons. He must be a self-healer. He wasn’t just capable of healing others with his saliva but could regenerate his own flesh.

He groaned as he pushed himself to his feet. Wylie stumbled sideways for a moment until he found his balance. His tail kept sweeping behind him, determined to distract him with the fact he had a fucking tail. God, that couldn’t be good.

He took a few steadying breaths only to break into coughs as thick smoke filled his lungs. “Holy fuck,” he whispered as he took in his surroundings. The wharf was on fire.

“Dorian!” Every other thought pushed to the back of his mind. Wylie searched frantically for Dorian, terrified of what he might find. The smoke was so thick and everywhere was an orange glow. It would be so easy to get confused and lost. Dorian, for all his power, was still just a human.

Wylie stepped through a wall of fire and barely felt the heat. Through the smoke, he could see a figure. It was the right height and shape, but he was standing there, not looking to run, not looking to escape.

“Dorian?” Wylie whispered. His presence pulled Dorian around the moment he recognized Wylie’s energy.

Dorian looked up and tears welled in his dark eyes. “You… You’re alive?”

“I’m fine!” Wylie shouted to be heard over the roar of the flames. “Dorian, you need to stop. The place is going to burn down.”

“I…” Dorian looked around with strangely blank eyes. “I can’t. I can’t control it. I let out too much and it’s only growing.” He turned back to Wylie and slammed both hands on his chest. “Run. Fucking run before I kill you too!”

Tears flowed freely down Dorian’s face and something inside Wylie wrenched. His dragon responded to his mate’s need. He held the hands trying to push him away, and pulled Dorian hard against his chest. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“You idiot! It’s not safe. Fuck.” Wylie cut him off, surged forward and dragged him into a deep kiss. Dorian tried to struggle, tried to explain he wouldn’t be harmed by his own magic. Wylie’s mouth was hotter than the flames around them and far more destructive to his senses.

“I’ve got you.” Wylie curled talon-free fingers into Dorian’s hair and pulled him closer. “I’m going to help.” His dragon wanted to eat his energy and it wasn’t going to hurt Dorian to do it. No, the damn beast had known all along how to help his mate. Wylie was just too disconnected from the dragon to listen.

He wrapped an arm around Dorian’s waist and walked them to the nearest firm surface. It was a wall of metal crates Dorian was quick to spell cool to the touch. He sealed their lips together again and crushed Dorian back against the wall. He drank as much of his energy as he could. Dorian held him tightly around the neck and kissed back just as hard.

His dragon roared inside. Dorian’s energy burned like an electrical current; wild, destructive and full of power. It was all Wylie could do to hold back. Each new spark grew his dragon until he was full of the beast’s demand.

Mate. His dragon wanted to claim his mate. As much as Wylie tried to hold back, the beast was just too strong.

“Aw, hell.” Wylie ran rough hands down Dorian’s sides. His hissing compelled while he nipped down his neck. The dragon was thundering in his ear and Dorian tasted so good, so perfect. His. Dorian was his and he had every fucking right to have him.

Dorian groaned. He tilted his head back and observed Wylie through half closed lashes. He took in his new horns, wings, and rippling muscles. Ice blue eyes pierced his and Dorian’s breath caught. Wylie looked like he was about to eat him alive.

“You need to run.” Dorian gasped when Wylie found the waistband of his burnt jeans and tore claws through them. Wylie pulled the material off with a sharp tug, and the flat of his palm cupped Dorian’s erection immediately after. “Oh… hell.” His knees went weak and Dorian clutched his broad, scaled shoulders. He cried out when Wylie began to stroke him.

With a hungry growl, Wylie released him. He spun Dorian around and pushed him chest first against the wall. “Spread, beautiful.”

“Fuck! Here?” Wylie had to be out of his mind!

“Yeah, baby, right fucking here.” Wylie fumbled with his jeans. He wrapped around Dorian’s bare back, probed claw free fingers down and pushed demandingly into his entrance.

“Wylie… God… It’s not safe…” Dorian couldn’t find the right words, not with Wylie’s fingers thick and long and stretching into him without restraint. It was all he could do not to fall, and Wylie was the reason he hadn’t yet, his strong arm wrapped around his waist.

“A dragon never abandons his mate.” Wylie groaned and thrust his dick against the smooth flesh of Dorian’s ass. “You’re mine. Beautiful, powerful, smart with a wicked sense of humor… Going to make you mine.”

“Wylie,” Dorian whimpered. A third finger pressed into his hole and his passage clenched before he opened to the long digits. His legs were trembling and all he seemed capable of was pressing his face against the metal wall and gasping. “Don’t… don’t want you to die.”

Wylie slid his fangs slowly over Dorian’s neck. “Baby, you’re not sparking anymore.”

“I’m not?” Dorian attempted to catch his breath, and focused on his magic for the first time. He was distracted by the thick fingers pumping into his entrance in a tormenting rhythm. He wailed as Wylie’s fingers withdrew suddenly, and his hot, blunt cock head pushed against his hole. “Fuck, oh fuck.”

“Relax,” Wylie hissed. The sound made Dorian shudder. “Need to claim you… Can’t stop. Need to be inside you.”

Dorian moaned lowly. He reached behind him and held onto Wylie’s hip when he pushed forward. He closed his eyes and exhaled shakily as Wylie began to breach him, his aching flesh opening to his large length. Wylie’s dick felt slick, sleek and so wet, and was already coated in precum. Dorian remembered just how big he was when he had covered him in cum. Right now, he was sure Wylie was even bigger; the dragon had more height, more muscle, more everything.

Wylie held his mate’s hips in a steel grip, and hissed from the heat of his entrance. “Tight… Fuck, you’re tight,” he groaned. He did everything he could to not surge forward. Dorian was gasping wildly. His perfect body was sweaty and shook as small, choked sobs escaped him. “Hold on, beautiful. Going to go slow.”

“Can’t… Fuck, it’s so much,” Dorian gasped out. “Please… please, Wylie… Need it…but it’s so big,” he babbled uncontrollably. Dorian reached his arms up and back and clawed at Wylie’s hair as he arched. So big inside. It was so big and it was making him crazy. He gasped when another thick inch sank into him. Dorian’s nails bit into Wylie’s neck and held.

“Fuck.” Heat flooded his entire body from the feel of Dorian scratching him. Wylie surged forward and buried himself with one hard thrust.

Dorian sobbed loudly from being filled so completely. His passage was stretched unbearably wide with Wylie deep inside. He came seconds later, with his muscles so tight and face flushed as he struggled with the overwhelming sensations.

“Oh god… Oh, fuck, Wylie,” Dorian mumbled weakly. Cum dripped down the wall in front of him. The fire inside wasn’t subsiding, not with Wylie so thick in his already sore passage. He groaned as Wylie slowly pulled back, and clenched around the hot cock rubbing his inner walls. Wylie wasn’t close to done with him, and he thrust deep once more. Dorian cried out as he was filled again.

“God, you sound good like this,” Wylie whispered hoarsely. He held Dorian with an arm around his chest. His other hand gripped his hip. “You’re so fucking tight, baby. So tight and mine.” He pressed his lips to Dorian’s cheek, and tried to keep his thrusts slow. But his dragon was crazed by all the energy it siphoned from the sorcerer and it would only find release in filling his beautiful mate.

His dragon knew even though Wylie had done his damnedest to ignore it. Dorian needed release. A release of all the magic inside him, a release of all his many worries and guilt, a release of the need he showed every time he looked his way. Wylie was more than happy to give Dorian all the release he needed.

“Oh fuck! Fuck!” Dorian wailed as his prostate was rubbed. He clutched Wylie’s arm harder. It was so much. His nerves felt frayed and each sensation was amplified with every slick, hard thrust. He couldn’t understand how he was hard again but it felt like a fire had taken his body, and was growing hotter every second. Wylie kept hissing in his ear. He sounded more dragon than man as he tormented him with his unceasing thrusts.

“W-Wylie… I don’t think I can… God, it’s so much,” Dorian moaned out. He arched as his prostate was hit again.

“You can take it,” Wylie hissed, and tightened his arms around him. “You’re the mate of a dragon. You can fucking take it.”

He moaned weakly to realize Wylie was actually claiming him as his mate, not just fucking the sanity out of him. Dorian curled his fingers and dug his short nails into the dragon’s scales. “Do it, Wy… Fucking claim me. Show me I’m yours… God, please… Fill me.”

“Mine,” Wylie snarled. His thrusts grew more erratic as he got close. “Never going to let you go. You’re mine.” His hand moved over the slick of Dorian’s sweat and Wylie found his mate’s hard cock and stroked it heatedly.

“Oh… Oh, wait,” Dorian gasped. Wylie’s dick swelled inside him. Fuck, he was getting bigger. Dorian sobbed from the sensation. He held himself impossibly still when Wylie slammed into him a final time and buried as deep as he could get. The base of Wylie’s cock still grew, and stretched Dorian’s hole even wider as he felt the scales flex and lock Wylie deep inside him.

Dorian had a moment with Wylie breathing heavily on his neck to understand what was about to happen. Mate. The dragon was actually trying to breed him.

“Oh hell.” Dorian gasped loudly at the first splash of cum. He wasn’t surprised when more hot, wet fluid followed. Wylie held his hips and humped forward shallowly as he filled him with spurt after spurt of his seed.

A cry caught in his throat and Dorian came again. His hips bucked with his release as he clenched around the spasming flesh filling him with cum.

Wylie kept pumping into his tight channel. He supported Dorian when he swayed. “That’s it, Ri. God, you’re mine. My mate.”

Dorian couldn’t stop moaning. His passage was stretched so wide. His hole ached and limbs shook and dripped sweat. “God… Just, god.” He closed his eyes and his head hung down heavily while Wylie continued to pump shallowly into him. He was making sure to fill him with everything he had.

“My mate,” Wylie murmured in his ear then nuzzled against his neck. “My beautiful mate.”

The darkness spun around him. Dorian’s heart hurt too much to comprehend. “Yeah, babe. Yours,” he rasped out.

Wylie groaned at the confirmation and pushed them forward. Dorian ended up flat against the wall with Wylie around his back as he unloaded the last of his seed inside him. He could feel it dripping out as Wylie’s dick began to return to normal proportions. His thighs itched as the thick fluid trickled down and he couldn’t suppress his aching whimpers.

His. Wylie was his.

“Err… sorry to interrupt and all, but we seriously need to get out of here.”

Dorian started at the sound of Beck’s voice. Beck stepped up hesitantly with his shredded and burnt jeans.

Wylie growled half-heartedly. His mouth was on Dorian’s shoulder, and body was still pressed up tight against his. He didn’t want to move. He didn’t want to do anything that involved not being flesh to flesh with his mate at the moment.

“Come on, Wylie,” Beck snapped when he saw he wasn’t going to move. “You know Roth will be back with bigger guns if the fucking cops don’t get here first. We need to leave now.”

Wylie glared. He slowly pulled himself from Dorian’s hot flesh. His eyes were drawn down to where his mate was still wet and dripping with his seed. He couldn’t stop from sliding his hands up Dorian’s inner thigh where his fingers sought out and probed into his slick entrance.

“Wylie,” Dorian groaned. “No more.”

Wylie turned Dorian to face him and was unable to stop staring once he was in full sight. Dorian was flushed. His golden skin nearly glowed and his lips were swollen and parted with each heavy breath he took.

“Get lost, B,” Wylie said distractedly. He stroked down the back of Dorian’s thigh and went to pull the toned limb up around his waist. His mate was beautiful and deserved another proper fuck.

“For fuck sake!” It was Adam, who ran up to them angrily. “Move your fucking ass. We have five dead bodies and I don’t want to be added to them.”

That got Wylie’s attention. Dorian’s eyes widened when he looked behind him. Wylie turned, and took in his surroundings for the first time since his dragon tasted Dorian’s wild energy.

The fire was out. Blue-gray smoke and black char was all that remained. There was a glitter of bullet casings on the ground and as Wylie searched, he found the bodies Adam mentioned. Five armed men were grouped around the magical barrier that had locked Dante and Beck in the crate. Dante was sitting on the ground a few feet away from them. He looked tired but not injured.

“What happened?” Wylie turned to Beck questioningly. “How did you get out of the barrier?”

“Put your damn pants back on and I’ll be happy to tell you,” Beck said with a small scowl. Wylie had never lost it like that over him, had never wanted him so much he’d fuck him out in the open, and he couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. “The fire went out when you two were, well, you know. Most of the gang was gone by then. I tried to keep him with me, but the kid just stepped forward and walked through the barrier.”

“There wasn’t a lot of air in there.” Wylie gruffly zipped his fly. His jeans were ruined but Dorian just waved his hand at him and the material repaired and was clean again. Wylie looked over at him, and regretted it immediately when he caught sight of Dorian’s swollen lips and shirtless form.

“Yeah, well, Diego saw the kid, realized he was what was in the crate, and he told who was left to grab him,” Beck continued, his voice pitched lower. “Cept, it didn’t quite go that way.”

How it went Wylie didn’t get a chance to hear. Dorian caught sight of Adam and glared at him warningly.

Adam took a stumbling step back, with his hands held up. “I’m sorry. I never wanted anyone to get hurt.”

Beck snorted and pulled a crushed cigarette from his back pocket. “Like fuck. You were the one who told Roth about the crate.”

“Yeah, but it was, like, right there! It was just sitting there, giving off huge amounts of magic,” Adam said defensively.

“You were also the asshole that called me down into this,” Wylie pointed out.

“Only because you’re a dragon! You were the only one I knew who’d be able to get through the barrier!”

“Yeah, but did you also know they were going to fucking kill me!” Beck shouted. His anger was free to rage now there wasn’t a gun pointed at his head. “They were going to kill Wylie too. Why? Did you tell them to kill us!”

“Shit, chill. Of course not!” Adam yelped and stepped away from Beck’s angry form. “I found out about Wylie being a dragon when I went online to see if they arrested him. I was just trying to figure out if he gave my name to the cops. I swear, I didn’t know they were going to kill you after,” he promised Wylie. “You saved all our asses. If that guy had died back at the house, we would’ve been picked up for murder.”

Wylie looked at Adam calculatingly. He had no idea if he was being truthful or not. “What about the crate? How did you find out about it?”

“Like I said, I sensed the crate, that’s all. Last Thursday, Roth had us all come down for a shipment and I sensed the magical barrier. It was so strong, I couldn’t not. I didn’t know what was in it. I told Roth about it and he went digging. He called me all excited and wanted me to open the thing.” Adam sighed heavily. “But I wasn’t strong enough. I read about dragons and thought maybe Wylie could get in. Seriously, I didn’t think it would go wrong. Roth said that we were all going to make a fortune on what was inside. I still don’t know what was in the stupid thing.”

“A kid,” Beck growled. “A fucking kid. Some freaks stole him from his home and were trying to sell him to some fucked-up sorcerer who would probably drain him for his power. So, for real, Adam, are you like that too? Do I have to worry about you trying to hunt kids down to drain them of magic? Are you going to go after Wylie?”

“Geez, no. I’m not fucked-up.” He huffed at the suspicious glare Beck was shooting and glared right back. “I was just hanging with the gang cuz I’m tired of being walked on. I can only do a little magic. I’m not some damn monster! I came back to help!”

Wylie didn’t really give a fuck at the moment. He walked around the arguing two and went to Dante. They needed to get the hell out. Dante looked so small and weak where he was hunched on the ground.

“I don’t feel good,” Dante whispered once Wylie reached him.

“Don’t worry about it. I know a guy who’s going to patch you up and get you back to feeling good.” He held out his hand and the small boy clung to it readily. Wylie scooped Dante up and straightened. He tried to dismiss just how frail and light he was. Dr. Rob would know what to do. He really hoped.

“You’re really strong.” With a sigh, Dante rested his head on Wylie’s scaled shoulder. “I wish you had been there when they took me away.”

His heart wrenched. Wylie combed fingers through Dante’s hair. “I’m here now. You’re not going to be alone. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

He carried him back to the group. Wylie caught Dorian staring at him with a funny look in his eye. “What?”

When he found Wylie staring right back, Dorian glanced away with a blush. “Fucking cute,” he muttered under his breath. Wylie raised his brow when he heard.

“I want to take Dante to the Academy. McPherson will know how to find his parents.”

“Good thing I’m here then, huh?” Dorian said flippantly. “I only came so you could portal back to the Academy. I didn’t want you walking; you know how dangerous that can be.” He kicked a bullet casing aside and winced when it hit the leg of a corpse only a dozen feet away. “Can we get the fuck out of here already?”

It was Diego. Wylie stared silent at the gangster’s slack features. He wasn’t even scorched. He’d hated Diego from the moment he met him but Wylie took no pleasure in seeing him dead. Instead, all he saw was a path he could’ve easily taken if he hadn’t turned back to try and save McPherson’s life.

Beck saw where Wylie was staring and stepped into his line of sight. “He took them out in under five seconds.”

“What?” Wylie looked at him in confusion.

“The small fry.” Beck tilted his head at the sleepy Dante in his arms. “Diego told him they were going to take him away and they raised their guns at him. The kid’s eyes turned black the same way your boy’s did. All five guys dropped dead. Just like that.”

A shiver ran down his spine. Wylie peered into Dante’s perfectly blank cherub face. He was breathing shallowly even though they were out of the thin air of the crate. Wylie had demon arms but he never hurt anyone he didn’t intend to. He was pretty sure Dante was the same way. All the more reason to bring him to the Academy where he’d be safe from the things that made kill.

Wylie patted Dante’s head and followed Dorian, who had a waiting portal in the auto shop. The walking was precarious. The entire wharf was seared from the fire even though Dorian had only sparked among the metal crates. Wylie stepped carefully around smoking debris and questionable spots in the wood. Dante slept on his shoulder; his breathing was too quiet to be reassuring.

The auto shop was empty. All the occupants had fled when the fire started. Beck and Adam hovered in the doorway while Dorian summoned the mirror to him. The piece of glass floated in midair.

“You wanna come, B?” Wylie asked. “Just to get the heat off of you for a while with Roth and the gang.”

Beck shook his head and grinned. “Seriously? Except for them threatening to kill me, I had things pretty good with Roth.”

“Beck! Are you fucking crazy?” Wylie gaped at him in shock. “You can’t seriously be considering going back to those asses? They were going to kill the fucking both of us!”

“Relax.” Beck rolled his eyes. “I’m just going back home, idiot. You really think Roth is going to give a fuck about me when he has five dead guys and way more wounded? He knows what’ll happen if he fucks with you now.” He shot a smirk Dorian’s way. “It’s sweet to have badass friends.”

Wylie shook his head and sighed in exasperation. “Be careful, B. Email me if you find yourself in trouble.”

“Yeah, yeah…” His expression turned soft and a sad smile twisted Beck’s lips. “At least we can say goodbye properly this time.”

Wylie nodded as he thought back to their last goodbye. Diego had been alive and everything so uncertain. Wylie went to hug Beck but paused when he realized Dante was definitely in the way. He glanced over to a very tightlipped Dorian, who held his arms out so Wylie could pass the sleeping kid over. Given Dorian’s expression, he had a feeling if his hands went anywhere below the belt on Beck he was going to be hexed into next Tuesday.

This time when Beck went to hug him, he stopped and stared worriedly at Wylie’s scales. It was his first time seeing them when Wylie could control the dangerous blades and he was rightfully wary. Wylie pulled his scales back and slowly shifted to his smooth, human form. Beck beamed up at him but Wylie only felt more awkward.

He wasn’t good at goodbyes. Not since the Andersons and trying to say goodbye to Sarah. She cried so much and he did everything to look big and brave even at eight so she wouldn’t worry. Wylie had moved through plenty of foster homes since then but hadn’t bothered to get to know anyone well enough to want to say goodbye. Beck was different and he didn’t know what to do.

“Thanks for saving my life, Wy.” Beck threw his arms around his shoulders. “You came back for me even though it turned out to be a trap. I know you’re happy where you are, I can tell, but that still means a lot to me.”

Wylie hugged him tentatively and pat Beck’s back. “You sure you’re going to be okay?”

Beck snickered and pulled away. He quickly wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. “I may not be as street smart as you but I know enough not to get myself into this kind of gang shit again.” He glanced over at Adam, who looked small and bedraggled in the cold autumn air. “Hell, I might play bodyguard for the nerd. Who knows?”

“You can always email me, you know,” Wylie reminded when Beck’s eyes turned watery.


Beck wouldn’t though; Wylie could tell. Maybe it hurt too much. Wylie turned and scooped Dante from Dorian’s arms. He didn’t have time to interpret the return of the funny look Dorian was shooting him.

“Uh, before you go.” Adam waved his hand briefly. “I really am sorry about the email and about dragging you into this, Wylie. And I wanted to thank you for saving that old guy. And, well, the kid. You’re an upstanding guy, and I’m sorry I was so scared of you before.”

“It’s cool, Adam.” Wylie meant it. He didn’t have any anger left for the tech wiz or Beck or even Diego. He had a home to go back to at the Academy and he was just starting to understand the truth of it.

Dorian grabbed his arm and tugged Wylie towards the now glowing mirror. “The kid is wiped. We need to get him to Dr. Rob.”

“You guys better run before the cops show.” Wylie gave a last look to Beck, who was having a terrible time fighting back tears. Fuck. He couldn’t seem to do anything right by anyone.

At Dorian’s insistent pull, he turned back and met his hazel eyes. “You ready?”

“Yeah. Let’s go.” He wasn’t going to miss it. Going back to his old life only pointed out to Wylie just how little he was truly alive back then. When the portal showed the arrival chamber at the Academy, Wylie stepped through with Dante in his arms. He didn’t look back.

Doing Wrong 9

Chapter Nine

“Don’t look now, but I think someone’s here to kill you.” Ron doesn’t bother whispering. We’ve just finished our half hour flight around the quidditch pitch. My face is numb from the cool wind, my hair feeling beyond windswept as I quickly try to pat it down when I catch sight of Malfoy.

“Get lost, Weasel.”

“Nice to see you too, Ferret. Glad you’re face filled in after I pulled you from Ripper’s boot.”

Malfoy pauses at that, uncertainty flickering across his features. I wonder just how much he remembers of the incident that put him in the hospital ward for nearly two weeks. Apparently not a lot, and Ron and I both gape when Draco suddenly holds his hand out to the redhead. “Thanks for that.”

Ron looks like Malfoy’s hand is about to bite him. Unperturbed, Malfoy grabs his boldly and gives him a proper shake. The world, amazingly enough, continues to turn. The sun even starts to set.

“I’m… going to go now,” Ron mutters, glaring at Draco suspiciously, then at his hand. I’m pretty sure the blond didn’t curse him. I could be wrong. It is Malfoy.


I jump, eyes flying to his. “Er, hey, Malfoy.” I really don’t feel like fighting right now. The flying has done me some good, and I’m so sure he’s going to just mess me up again. I’m already dazed and feeling self conscious as all fuck. I pull my bangs down again, just to be on the safe side. Damn it. I hate this shit.

“You’re not going to shake my hand, are you?” I ask when he continues to stand there. He’s glaring, but it’s not as mean as normal. There’s heat to it, but it’s not crazy, I want to beat the fuck out of you anger. Yet.

“Do you want me to shake your hand?”

What? Shit, I really need to get away from him. He just fucks up my head. “Malfoy, what do you want?”

He tilts his head at me, raising an eyebrow the longer I glare back. “Potter, you stare. A lot.”

What? “You came out here to tell me that?” I think he’s fucking with me. “How about you tell me why Nott’s trying to kill me. Do I have to watch for him trying to polyjuice one of my friends to gut me in my sleep?”

Draco scoffs, glancing to the side, looking too cool for the world in general. “He doesn’t have the imagination. Fuck, then again, didn’t think you had the fucking imagination either, and look where that got me.”

I stare at him—He’s there, he’s hot, and he’s talking weird shit. I’m going to stare. “What that got you?”

“Yes, fucktard. Got me.” He glares at me, like I’m really supposed to know what he’s talking about. Do I know what he’s talking about? Fucked up? Is that what he’s implying? I know it fucked me up, but he seems, as usual, fine as a cool drink on a hot day. Wait, is he saying he didn’t tell Nott, or he did? God, he really makes me crazy.

“I don’t mean to sound like an ass, Potter, but could you like pay the fuck attention for two minutes here?”

“I’m seriously trying, Malfoy. If you could just make sense with what the hell you’re saying to me. Single syllables. You might have to spell out some of the big words.”

He gives me a look, like he can’t tell if I’m joking or not. I’m not sure if I fully am. He fucks with my head, and it’s really hard to see things up and down around him.

“I need a bodyguard. Probably until my father’s trial is over.”

Okay, I understand it. Just not sure what the hell he means. “You want me to be your muscle? Seriously?”

He looks at my biceps, smirking that fucking sexy way of his. “Let’s go with idiot on retainer. Doorstop. Human shield. My personal, expendable orphan.”

He’s a prat. A sexy, sexy prat. I cross my arms over my chest, for some reason feeling the need to puff myself up and look as strong as possible. “And why, exactly, would I subject myself to your particular brand of torture while also saving your ass from the many angry people that hate you?”

“Ah, well that would be because you’re an idiot. A lovestruck, demented, idiot.”

He really has the most adorable smile, the little fucker. I run my tongue over my teeth, already knowing I’m going to say yes. But I really shouldn’t. It’s a bad idea for many reasons I can’t seem to remember at the moment. “Won’t your boyfriend just want to beat my face in even more?”

“What boyfriend?”

“Nott, you…” I stop, taking in his extremely bored expression, his eyebrow looking just a little too cocky to be believable. Oh.


But… What?

“Are you paying attention, or will you be spacing out for the rest of this conversation?”

“Did you break up with Nott? Have you seriously been talking to me about fucking bodyguard bullshit instead of telling me you don’t have a boyfriend anymore?”

He shrugs, his fingers twisting into his hair as he pushes a white-blond strand back. “It’s not bullshit. People have been getting, well, crazy around here.” He looks at me, something flashing in his eyes that I really wish wasn’t fear, but it is. “And you, well, you don’t seem to mind that I’m not the nicest fucking person on the planet. So, yeah. I’d really like you to help me out.”

“Why did you break up with Nott?”

“Focus, Potter!”

“I am. I am very fucking focused. Now tell me or I won’t help.”

He gives me a calculating look, then glances away. All cool again. “He kisses for shit.”

“Like fuck you broke up with him over—”

“What the fuck do you know, hmm? How many boyfriends have you had?”

Fine, I don’t date well. But he’s so full of shit. “He was sweet to you. Brought you those roses. Cried at your bedside. Tried to save your ass, even though he’s not strong for shit. You didn’t dump him over his kissing skills. Kissing skills can be improved.”

He sighs, clearly annoyed that I’m not letting this go. Too fucking bad. “You sure he didn’t dump you, Malfoy? Got a little sick and tired of you talking shit to him?”

“Fuck off, Potter. He was practically crying when I kicked him to the curb. Stop being a dick.”

I shut up. I can’t promise what comes out of my mouth won’t be shit, but I can choose not to open it.

“I didn’t feel anything when he kissed me.” He glances my way a second, then quickly looks down, hands shoving into his front pockets. “So, bodyguard. My dormmates are pretty chill about the whole thing, but sometimes I get people cornering me in the halls. Especially around meal times, and right before bed. I’d need you to walk with me. I’m sure it’s a hassle, but let’s face it, they won’t fuck with you. After what happened when I was knocked out, everyone’s pretty sure you’re going to murder the next one you touch.”

I scowl, sick of this particular theory floating around. “Don’t believe everything you hear, Malfoy.”

“Oh, so you didn’t tap twenty-seven people and send them to the ground in excruciating, debilitating pain, singlehandedly saving my life, and likely the lives of the people trying to protect me?”

Well, when he puts it that way. “Why didn’t you feel anything when he kissed you?”


“No, I want to know. How do you know? What if he suddenly got really good at kissing? Would you feel something then?”

“For the love of—What is wrong with you? Seriously?”

“Malfoy, unless you fucking tell me that you like when I kiss you, I’m not going to stop asking.”

He snaps his mouth shut, glaring. Chin tilting up, he huffs. “Fuck off.”

“I can wait all fucking night. And hey, as your bodyguard, you’ll catch yourself a nice cold out here with me.”

“You’re such a fucking pain.”

I just stare at him. His cheeks are pink, and I don’t think it’s from the chill air. It’s starting to get dark, the forest creating a long shadow across the field.

“I can’t pay you anything, just so we’re clear.”


He barrels on, glaring at me defiantly. “But I thought I could help you with your homework because you’re a fucking lout and all. I won’t do it for you—I don’t cheat. But I’ll help you learn, and, um… stuff.”

Right. So now I’m going to be walking him through the halls in my free time, and when not doing that, spending it studying with him. He’s probably going to be dressing me too, by the time the week is out. “Malfoy, you’re going to tell me you like when I kiss you, or you’re going to find yourself another bodyguard. One that doesn’t have my reputation for putting up with your shit.”

He smiles, all pearly white teeth and flushed cheeks. My stomach drops somewhere below my knees, everything going dizzy. “Nope. You’re going to put up with my shit, Potter. So too fucking bad.”

God, he makes me so crazy.

I grab him by the elbow, pulling him close, watching as he blushes even more. “Don’t play with me, Drake. It’s really not nice. You know I’m messed up over you.”

“I believe I already said ‘too fucking bad,’” he whispers, biting his lip while he stares at my mouth.

I dip forward, brushing the lightest of pressure to his lips, his mouth opening, body pushing against me as he tries to get me to kiss him hard. “Tell me. I know you, baby. Tell me what you like.”

“Fuck. Off.” He surges forward, sealing our lips together, dragging me down by the neck. I wrap around him, pulling him close, running my hands over his chill form. He gives an indignant cry when I pull away, his fingers tangling in my hair, trying to force me to come back to his very perfect lips. But I insist, standing taller until I’m just out of reach.

He glares challengingly, some sort of scheme flickering in his eyes. I ignore him, grabbing my wand from my back pocket. He has a moment to sneer when I draw it, only to then blink when I cast a warming spell on him. “You should have worn a coat. You’re freezing.”

He gives me the longest, strangest look he’s ever given me—And Malfoy has given me some funny looks. Then he wraps his fingers back in my hair and stands on tiptoes to whisper against my mouth. “I fucking love how you kiss me. Every time. It’s like a jolt of magic, and nothing compares. When you kissed me that first time, looking like Nott, I fucking knew, Potter. He doesn’t do that to me. No one has ever done that for me. You do. Every single time. Now shut the fuck up about it.”


I crush his lips to mine, wrapping my arms tight around his waist, feeling him fuse into me. He gasps, his hands tearing into my hair, clawing at my neck. Each kiss is a hot loss of air and thought, his teeth scraping my lower lip over and over, tongue laving mine in desperate strokes.

“Don’t stop… just…” He grabs my shoulder, pulling my sweater by the collar so tight it makes a ripping sound. I cup the back of his head, nuzzling into his ear.

“What do you mean by ‘you knew?’ There’s no way you knew.”

“God, just stop talking and kiss me.”

“You didn’t know.”

He huffs, biting my ear, tongue hot and wet as he nips my neck. “I didn’t know it was you the first time. But I knew it wasn’t him. Eventually.”

“Before the second time?”

He growls, his fingers scratching the back of my neck again. He’s lucky I really like that. I’m lucky. “Sort of.”

“So, no.”

“Potter, is this really important?”

I pull back so I can see his face. He looks rather serious, even though his cheeks are flushed, lips swollen a beautiful red. “I… I want to know. You were… The second time, you were so open to me. So completely trusting. I just…” I can’t explain it. I had fallen beyond in love with him in that moment, had ruined everything, and found the fucking universe in his eyes. It shouldn’t matter, but it does.

Draco gives me a hard look, then relents. “He never called me baby. Never swore at me. Never, ever offered to do anything sexual without stuttering. He’s very shy.” He shrugs, biting his bottom lip. “After the first time, and he never mentioned it, never seemed into doing something like that, I was pretty sure something was up. Right before the second time, I was yelling about you, pissed beyond belief about that fucking stick joke—You’re a total douche, by the way. We had a huge fight. He thought I had some sort of unhealthy obsession. I have a fucking amazing memory, Potter, but he thought I was, like, totally fixated on everything about you. Whatever.” He gives me a look I refuse to respond to. He’s totally fixated. I’m totally fixated. If he doesn’t want to admit it, fine.

“So, you show up as him, but it’s not his shoes. Or his jeans. I don’t notice right away, just pissed about life and shit. But he pushes me back…” His eyes darken, a small grin forming on his lush lips. “And he’s got that very handsome watch I remember you owning. And not soaked in that cologne he always insists on wearing. And the shoes, and the wrong jeans that have that hole in the left knee where I stabbed you with a pen that time. And the way he looks at me… like he wants to fucking kill me, or just fuck me. How you look at me. And I think, I’m totally out of my mind to even consider it’s someone else, nevermind you. But I start mentioning things he should know. Like, he’s never worried about hurting me. He’d have to fucking actually try to do something to me first to worry. And when he asks me to think of something to try, I pick something he’d never agree to because he’s so shy. And well, when I said a rim job, and he reacted like, well… Let’s just say, I was certain by then.”

I really don’t know what to say. At all. My boy is fucking brilliant. And more, I’m also really damn oblivious. I probably should have observed them more together, but that would have meant having to see Nott all over him. “So you knew it was me… or at least, not him, and yet you still let someone rim you in the hallway? Drake, that’s kind of—”

“Fuck off, Potter. I knew it was you. Not some fucking stranger. You’re the only one fucked in the head enough.” He smacks my arm, then wraps his hand around it, holding tight and squeezing my bicep. “I thought you’d freak out when I suggested that. Thought you were just looking to get a fucking blow job out of me, and I wanted to make you do the most degrading goddamn thing I could think of at the time. But fuck, you messed me up so bad. I mean really, really, it was crazy good. You really seemed to want to do it, and when you tied my arms—You’re really fucked up, Potter. But god, it’s in a good way.”

He’s panting as he looks at me, his eyes sparkling in the dim light. I brush my thumb across his lips, and he licks me. “So you knew. Let me walk around thinking I had gotten away with something, when you knew the whole time.”

“I wanted to fucking kill you,” he whispers, his eyes caught in mine. “For fucking me up so bad. For making me feel so goddamn good, while doing something so fucking wrong. I liked Theo. He was a good guy. A really good boyfriend. But he couldn’t make me feel like that. I kept waiting, hoping you’d come back, not sure if I was going to confront you, beat you… Make you do it again. Then you fought Corner off, like you actually gave a fuck, which just made me fucking crazy trying to figure out what the hell you were up to. Everything was just going to shit around me, and you were fucking with my head every turn. Then you showed up, drunk off your fucking ass, covered in that damn glitter, and looking like you’d been shagging all night.”

“Just dancing. To get over you,” I say, pulling his chin back when he looks away. “To stop doing bad, messed up things because I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Wanting you. Dreaming of you. I was supposed to go drink it all away. But I couldn’t.”

“No. You had to come and fuck me up again. With your fucking face, and intense eyes. Your damn strong hands, and wild hair, and stupid, sexy smile.” He glares, accusing with every word. “You had to kiss my hand like you gave a fuck, and suck me so good I thought I was going to die. And damn, you looked so fucking sad when you left. Like you weren’t just fucking around with me—Fuck, Potter, that was the worst damn part. Because maybe I could have been able to handle that, if you were just being a fucking terrible person to me. But you had to go and tell me you fucking loved me, like some idiot, and you just… God. You just ruined everything.”

He turns away, pulling from my arms, and the night suddenly feels dark and freezing. “I thought we were good, Malfoy? I thought, shit—You like me.” I run my hand through my hair, feeling desperate and hopeless. “Just like me, and be okay with it. Don’t make some big deal about it all. You dumped your boyfriend.”

He whirls, glaring at me, and I shut my mouth. “I dumped Theo because he couldn’t make me feel the way I knew it could feel. It doesn’t mean I want you for a boyfriend, Potter. Doesn’t mean you get a fucking shot with me, just because he’s not good enough.”

Like fuck it doesn’t. “Malfoy, you like me. You just admitted you knew I was the one with you that second night. That was the night I was certain you must really love Nott, because of how you looked at me in his skin. But you were looking at me. That was for me.”

“Whatever, scarhead. Build some fucking fantasy in your head that just because I let you touch me means I love you. I had planned on hexing the fucking shit out of you. You were supposed to back out. I would have confronted you, and then fucking destroyed you for thinking you could get away with laying a damn finger on me.”

“Yeah, well you didn’t!” Shit, why is everything a fucking argument with him? “You let me touch you. You fucking begged me not to stop. No hexing, no yelling, no beating.”

He sticks his chin out, totally defensive. “I was curious.”

“Malfoy.” He’s seriously going to drive me to murder. “You let me tie you up. I could have done anything to you. I could have left you there, hanging from the goddamn ceiling. You fucking trusted me.”

“God, just shut the fuck up!”

“I will when you get your fucking head out of your ass! You like me. Admit it!”

“Like fuck I do! I can’t stand you!”

He really can’t. Shit. This is the worst fucking love confession ever. I need to fix this. But really, he makes me so goddamn crazy, I can barely breathe.

“What do you need me to do?”

He looks at me like I’ve sprouted a horn. “What?”

“To make you stop yelling at me. What?”

“Uh, go fuck yourself?”

I know, he’s so classy. He’s going to be mine. It will be a cold fucking day in hell when I let him walk away from all this. He fucked me up and he’s going to see it through. I get down on my knees and take his hands in mine. He, thankfully, doesn’t punch me, but he’s totally thinking of it.

“Will you be my boyfriend?”


Fuck. He’s such an ass. But he’s smirking, so he’s also loving it. I pull him closer, ignoring just how cold the ground is, and press my face to the front of his shirt while I look up at him. “Let me take you out? Date me?”

His smile falters and he wraps fingers into my hair, pulling my head back roughly. It feels good. Everything he does either feels like hell or heaven to me. “Yeah. We can try that… If you can learn to keep your fucking foot out of your mouth.”

Definitely a heaven moment.

“Potter—Damn it!” I ignore his squawk, pulling him down, kissing him hard. He shudders under my hands, pushing back into me, kissing me ferociously. Because the little git likes me, is fucking crazy about me, and I’m done letting him pretend otherwise.

“Wait, just… slow down a sec…” He buries his face into my hair, breathing deep. “I just broke up with him the other day. I don’t want to… He’s really sad about it. Pissed, and sad.”

Draco Malfoy giving a fuck about anyone; it’s a sight to see. “Whatever you want, baby.” Although, if he keeps pulling at my shirt like that, it’s going to be hard to actually mean it. “You hungry?”


I pull him up, doing my best to keep my hands off him. I’d walk with him with my arms sewn to his shoulders, if I could. Or waist. Or ass. He has a really nice ass.

“Stop staring at me, Potter.”

“Sorry, Drake. Gotta know what I’m guarding.” I slap his very sexy ass, and he slugs me in the shoulder. It’s completely worth it.