Search Results for: "fantasy"

So Why Didn’t Gay Marriage Solve Everything? 🍄

Hey, babes ^^

So let me start by saying I don’t want to craft walls and bars with words so that people feel this is the only reality. This is the difficulty of society—the difficulty of being a storyteller when people reading the story don’t understand reality is not actually confined by our perception of it. We are confined by our perceptions of reality. I’m going to tell a story about how I see parts of reality and why I write what I write. This reality is not shared by everyone—thank fuck—but I’d love to hear your responses. I love to talk about this shit. XD Oh, and fuck, I will be getting back to the comments of last week. I got most of you—I’m so excited you’re excited about the Demon Virus interactive story! I just got caught up in writing and didn’t want to leave.

With that out of the way, I love the premise of this book and I want to talk about it! I haven’t read it yet, to be totally upfront. Once Hellcat is done I’m going to indulge in fun, damn it! (and yeah, this kind of reading is totally fun for me and my inner nerd… as is writing… as is writing Hellcat—I’m actually having lots of fun. XD) But just reading the premise, I think you can understand where ‘Sadie Sins’ might be really on board with this whole concept and it has my mind sparking.

Why Straight Guys Love Their Gay Guys: Reviving the Roots of Male Sexuality

After fifty years of progress and the advent of gay marriage, statistics on the well-being of gay men are as grim as ever. Rates of suicide, alcoholism, and drug abuse have not budged. Anxiety, depression, loneliness, and poor health are just as widespread. Studies have shown that gay men who live in urban gay communities actually are worse off, not better.

The utopia promised by gay marriage has not materialized. Gay men seem to have run out of ideas for future progress. There is little acknowledgment of the fact that something remains badly wrong. Nor is there a diagnosis of what is wrong.

This book proposes that the diagnosis is obvious if we look at the origins of male sexuality and how it was expressed in other cultures. The anti-sex Puritan system in which we are now immersed is relatively recent in human history. Yet in less than 2,000 years, knowledge of how other cultures lived and loved has been systematically wiped out. The forms of male sexuality were remarkably similar from culture to culture. But starting with the early Europeans in the last years of Rome and continuing around the globe as Europeans colonized the continents, natural male sexualities have been cruelly repressed and then obliviated. We are all Puritans now.

The greatest taboo of all in male sexuality remains unchallenged and is still heavily enforced. That is the taboo of male-male sex, which until 2003 was still a crime. This book argues that the plight of gay men is only a piece of a much larger catastrophe — the Puritanical repression of the sexualities of all men, in an attempt to harness the enormous power of male sexuality for social purposes in the name of moral progress, with promises of greater glories to be found in heaven. The damage that Puritanism caused to human beings and to stable social systems was never noticed. In fact the damage and misery were regarded as good. It was seen as payback to the devil.

This book is not arguing for something new, untested, unknown, and radical. Rather, the challenge is to return to something very old — the joy of male-male sex — which took similar forms in most of the cultures that we have knowledge of. In such worlds, it was understood that some men are more masculine than others, that some men are gayer than others, and that heterosexuality and homosexuality are complementary and of equal value. And those old worlds were worlds in which every gay man was able to take for granted what to us today is the impossible dream — sex with a straight best friend.

The Root of Sin is a Story

This is the root of all my stories, from the dirtiest noncon/dubcon/beast/incest/degradation to the sexy, happy fluff. This is why I write sex, to offer a narrative that to ‘give in’ to your fears and break the societal constructs surrounding sex will allow you to find pleasure instead of the sin. The sin is a lie, it’s something we were taught, not something that exists. But our brains hold power over us, our narratives—the narratives of society, of the casual little phrases we don’t even think about that create the bars to the cage that say sex is bad and wanting sex means you’re bad. That sweat, shit, tears, cum, vomit, urine, blood, flesh, bones—these things that are a part of living in a human body, something every single person on this planet experiences—is on some level bad and offensive. The body must be hidden and those who don’t hide theirs are narcissists, deviants, godless, seducers, sluts, asking to be harmed because to have a body is to deserve to be raped. These are the narratives we hear every day, little stories that filter in and our brains pick up and form a construct of the world around us.

This is also the root of censorship—I know, that other thing I love talking about! XD I find censorship extra fascinating because rarely is it just for reality but for imitations of reality. If you’ve been watching news about Trump and his ‘shithole’ comment, I hope you’re laughing as loudly as I am every time a newsperson goes to say the word shithole and instead they say something like “bleephole” or “you-know-what hole” XD OMG. They can’t even quote reality. Someone, somewhere is demanding these people not say certain words, and my fuck, they fucking listen, don’t they? They create a complete construct around avoiding certain mouthsounds, and those who don’t conform are punished. Book censorship of course is just as insane—the belief that an idea is wrong and shouldn’t be allowed to exist or people will be harmed.

Sit with that for a bit. Lol. So many people afraid of their brains, claiming their actions are powerless to their thoughts. How easy it would be to justify murder if we truly believed we weren’t responsible for our actions? We thought about killing someone, then we did—blame the thing that gave us the idea, not the choice of committing an action. Society can see how ludicrous that is for murder—usually, don’t get me started on the Stand Your Ground law—but for sex? For an internal desire expressed in the body that our history (and some current cultures) claim is just as atrocious as murder? Far less rational thought occurs when reacting to a societal message of morality.

The Societal System

Society pushes to say ‘don’t accept who you are unless… *insert demand*’ Unless you look a certain way, unless you act a certain way, unless you get that paycheck of a certain amount, unless some god loves you, unless you sacrifice, unless you earned it, unless you prove you’re worthy, unless your parents/teacher/priest/doctor/boss/celebrity/friend/someone approves… unless you’re something else. The message is you aren’t good enough as is; you must be something else and then you will be acceptable and loved. And this isn’t just the big society, that vague ‘them’ that encompasses a state or continent. There are tons of societies from groups of friends, to families, to the workplace, to your singular mind, and in this particular book’s case, the gay community.

I fear just the act of placing the gay label is the first step in this slippery slope of crafting cages and demanding of yourself to be something else concerning sexuality. It was in the lesbian scene I saw the most fighting, the most cruelty, the most anger. I met women abused by men who turned to women, only to be abused again. Or to abuse others. To seek drugs, to steal, to break up relationships, to blame others for their actions. Everyone was a hookup instead of a person. Everyone a savior to prove they’re worthy instead of a person. I saw women who demonized men, women who demonized mothers, women who demonized beautiful women—really, just pick a ‘type’ and someone hated them because of how they looked, how they acted, how they existed.

I saw so much unhappiness in that place, including the beautiful group of males who crossdressed as females and were so defensive, it felt like I was in a war scene when they stepped off stage and walked through a sea of women and seemed to expect to be attacked/judged/mocked. And given the sea of these hurt women, they might have had experience to feel that way. I saw women who desperately needed to have their peers reflect them so they could see who they were. It was identity through the control of others. Identity through comparing. Identity through reacting. They could only find themselves when interacting with others—others who had to fit their narrative or were punished. And why did those who were hurt by not fitting stay to fit? Because they gained identity by staying, by being labeled. Every person there was there by choice.

I can’t speak for gay men in that scene. Why? Because the sexes were segregated when it came to gay and lesbian and the clubs and parties I found myself at. I think part of the whole meat market aspect of that scene was, if you’re not in the market, you’re not welcome. I dunno. Maybe they couldn’t reflect off of such a different looking person—a man—so they kept them away? Maybe what the did reflect pushed them away? I can speculate but I don’t actually know. If I knew there were men out there who hated me just because of my gender the way some of those women hated men (even if those roots were based in abuse,) I probably wouldn’t be in a rush to hang out. XD

A Living Narrative

So, this is a story of the past that doesn’t exist anymore. One place in time through the eyes of one curious woman whose brain loves to find patterns in people and understand. These are moments in my life I remember to write the narrative of today–even if today is completely different. And this is part of the problem; we as humans take the past and project it into the future. We decide everything we know makes us a fortune teller. XD

During that time I spoke with women who left the scene who confided how painful it had been for them, how insane it was compared to being sexually evolved out in the world. I was still watching the scene trying to understand why everyone seemed to have a prescription or a drug or a trauma they were taking while calling themselves these two dimensional labels and looking to be seen but not really known. I was straight out of the psych ward hanging with a lesbian (who by the time I left was considering identifying as a male) who was fresh out of prison, and I had a bipolar bisexual girlfriend (who called herself a lesbian once she started dating me but nearly married a man right before.) The bubble I was in was real but that doesn’t mean it was the entire view.

After the psych ward, where you’re labeled by your brain/behavioral ‘malfunction’—you know, the true way to identify who you are, by the thing that fucks up your life completely and you can never be free of. XD The illness that makes you wrong compared to everyone else; that’s who you are. Sigh. Now that’s a system of suffering that keeps people suffering, and after the psych ward, the scene just seemed all too familiar. You can be sexually free, but only when you label, so make sure you know what your label is and don’t try to change it. We already have identified you by this label and we don’t want to be confused or worse, annoyed. Your sexuality is a judgment on us, especially if you ever fucked us—don’t you dare be bisexual or trans, cus that just confuses the fuck out of us and our sexual identity.

It was a beautiful chaos of pain as people tried to discover themselves while stepping on everyone’s toes. As much as they hurt each other, they hurt themselves even more, and the ones who stayed—so many stay until they find what they need—they hurt themselves the most.

Why Do We Do It?

I love people, I truly do. I love their insanity as they claw at themselves demanding the impossible while hoping against hope if they reach that goal, the suffering will finally stop. And while they’re clawing at themselves, they’re screaming at anyone who looks a little like them, demanding the same of them—be perfect, be this, be the thing I need so I can be free already. Hurry the fuck up and be what I want! XD Ah, it’s so powerful, so amazing, so fucking cruel and beautiful and we demand of our loved ones first, don’t we? Those who provide us the most on a material and emotional level we then refuse to allow to be free of our filter. If you change, then who am I?

I can look back and see how lost I was when I was this person who needed others to be a certain way so I could feel safe in the world. Err… like a year ago. XD This part is not an old story and she still pops up time to time. What an exhaustion trying to get people to change just so I could calm the fuck down over stupid shit like dishes. And what pain I inflicted on myself with my own demands.

Lol, that’s why my writing is so different these last months with less a focus on completion and more on actually writing the story as it wants to be. I finally learned to stop demanding so much of myself, and I’m still learning. A writer can be an ass to herself and decide if editing isn’t perfect, you suck. (whoops.) If that novel isn’t published by the end of the month, you’re a horrible person. And then you can find other writers to agree with that inner bitchy voice. It’s easier to see the interactions with my loved ones and stop, but the pain I commit on myself by having all those inner demands? Whooo, it has taken time.

It takes time not to respond to my loved ones when they come to me to identify them. When some days they want to feel weak and helpless in the world and they lash at me to give them the promise that I’m strong enough to carry it all for them, or that I perceive them incapable so they don’t have to try. Sometimes they define me by the mold toxicity so that they can be my hero for a little bit even if it means I can’t be my hero. It’s not a one way street—everyone is in a relationship by choice to gain whatever it is they need. Some people are afraid to move forward and they want someone to point it out to them so that they can tell themselves they don’t have to move forward, they can just be angry at you, bitch. XD Or they ask you for advice, ask you to carry them and do it for them, and when you don’t, ah, what a washing away of responsibility. Such bliss. They don’t have to do it because they handed you the responsibility, and if you don’t do it, oh, well, it gets to slip away and be unimportant, dragged out only during later arguments to ‘win’ in the battle of dominance for the right to narrate the shared story. Lol, it’s beautiful.

This could be the pain of the group, of the lgbt community that holds itself back, that demands others be a certain way because they have to be a symbol, a representation of an entire sexual movement. It has to look a certain way, and if you don’t fit you shouldn’t be allowed to exist as you are—change for us so we look the way we should.

Freedom to marry doesn’t give you anything when you’re not free to be yourself. It doesn’t change the way you think the world still sees you. It doesn’t change the way you still see yourself. It’s not only straight people who have the ability to judge. I see so many who have struggled to find their sexual identity and they feel threatened by the existence of someone similar but different. I have plenty of gay people still tell me bisexuality isn’t real. Some fear the spectrum because then they don’t know where they fit, who they are without the sexuality label nice and clear. I love writing straight to gay because of this—to show that facing the fear of being different from your self expectations can lead to pleasure.

My theme as a writer seems to be submission to inner dark desire=pleasure. XD I knew nothing about bdsm when I started writing erotica—I thought it was a super tacky genre from the few books I read at the time with all their equipment and living in clubs and their silly rules. All I saw was the structure and none of the underlying emotion. Now, after studying the push and pull of the human psyche as it seeks relief in others, I see the struggle of relinquishing to self.

So funny, the battle of the ego just looking for an escape to let go, looking for someone to save them because they don’t want to think they have the power. If they have the power, then they’re obligated to change their life, right? No thank you, just hand that over to the guy with the whip. XD Keep the changes in a safe place, one room, one little therapeutic dose of giving away control, giving in to desire without fear of consequence in the real world. A structured fantasy with the only one to judge being yourself and your partner.

Toxic Fruit

I like the premise of the book, of the greater society, of history and religion and the rejection of the human form being the roots of this problem. I want to see if it goes further. The roots still feed the plants that bear fruit, and where do we see the hurt coming from when history is dust, and morality is merely a system in place that no one is actually controlling? Why do those newspeople really hold back from swearing on television? Do they give a fuck about the concept of morality, or do they care about losing their jobs? Individual humans in this world punish them, and those who are punished choose to accept that’s the trade off to being free to speak certain words on TV—ha! I live in a country where we hold up free speech as some big right while saying it’s not allowed on television. Wow. Individuals strike out at others, demand from them what they demand of themselves to keep the world one way. They perpetuate the message while being bombarded by the message.

We are intelligent beings with technology and information beyond anything we have had before, but we still repeat the broken messages that keep us trapped. Why? Because we open our mouths and speak them. We do this; we are society. We teach our kids to be ashamed of the very bodies they are born into, while we look for ways to stop hating ourselves. We tell ourselves we can’t win in fights we never bother to battle. We create a god we must impress, must live up to, or we will suffer damnation. We decide that speaking up deserves pain, so only the most brave speak up. We create all the monsters that we end up battling or avoiding, while blaming the monsters.

Redefining Reality

Is that an ugly thought? Should it be censored so people don’t have to feel uncomfortable? The beauty of these systems that hurt us is how a changing of the message can save us. If the system in place is redefined, everything it touches redefines. Oh, let’s say the Pope declared sin nothing more than a fallacy of the mind used to control society, and every church in the system took up that belief and spread it to the followers. The next generation of Roman Catholics (and whoever listens to the Pope) could be free of sin. Actually free, instead of the indoctrination of bestowing original sin on every child born just so they could ‘baptize’ it away.

What if the psychiatric community decided to look into how allergies are linked to mental illness? What if they taught how most people who have allergies but don’t produce a certain response are far more likely to suffer mentally from bipolar to depression to mania to agitation to ocd to fits of rage, hence the rise of suicides during high pollen counts? What if when your kids are taught about nutrition, they’re not taught skewed information in there by companies—sugar—who don’t want people to know their product is not required on any level?

Systems allow for very big changes in a short amount of time and hey, they’re already in place. The media is such a system, which is why we have some channels spewing the extreme conservative narrative of ‘fear your neighbor and self,’ and others the extreme liberal narrative of ‘nothing you do is good enough unless you reach our blessed heights.’ I’m a liberal and my fuck, it’s like being a vegan among vegans—you’re never fucking good enough. Lately, I feel like I’m back in church answering to some faceless god of morality claiming gloom and doom if ideas exist and it totally sucks. No wonder Trump is terrified of the media. It’s a system bigger than him capable of changing the narrative of the world, the narrative he can’t reflect off of. He chose his enemy and his enemy grows bigger because of it.

But the caveat? Even when a system changes, it’s still up to the individual to change, to let the old message go. To allow through their filter of the world for things to be different, for things to be fun and not so fucking serious. Ugh, everyone is so damn serious. Do you know how many authors I see resend newsletters over fucking typos? Typos. Gah. I had an old guy glaring at me Christmas Eve—the entire night—and only found out when he said goodbye that he was offended by my lipring. XD I had it for 10 years but he was certain it would be infected by tomorrow because something in his past made his perception of my reality look dangerous.

Our brains are the system of oppression we’re trapped in. We perceive the messages and give them importance enough to actually follow them. Every message out in the world was first conceived in someone’s mind, which was then expressed through language where other minds picked it up, decided it was important, and followed or rejected. I used to think a vow of silence was about being able to finally hear yourself; now I wonder if it’s to do no harm on the world through the influence of words. But the words aren’t the harm, it’s still the minds that turn them into something more and act upon that belief.

There are so many people out there afraid of their thoughts. I wonder when they’ll see that they choose to act, they choose to make thoughts into an action? They choose to believe a message and hold onto it, making it part of their identity.

We Are the Storyteller

In our brains live these realities, these perceptions, these characters born of narratives—I think you’ve all met my characters in stories. XD But just as I’m an obvious storyteller, we are all telling a story about the world and about ourself. We tell the story that our attraction and gender is a part of our identity, that our job gives us value, that our family is a reflection of ourself, that if we’re not liked then we are bad/lacking, that our face defines our beauty, that to lose everything is to really lose everything.

It can be so hard to break out of that story, to see that we still persist even when everything changes. Maybe that is the joy of reading. For me it is the joy of writing. I write freedom (sexy, dirty freedom, lol) for every character I conceive. Maybe to experience a narrative—any narrative—between pages feels safer, allows us to see how we can wiggle free of the story of our life and be something else—but safely, in our brains, because that is where that story lives.

The reality is, for all my intentions, I can only hope people find freedom in my books. For some, they may be perpetuating the cage they’re trapped in, seeing their own self dissatisfaction reflected in the characters and never following to where it’s okay to be okay with yourself. Lol, those outraged reviews from poor souls so angry about the sex or the swearing or the lack of consent or the typos; I don’t think they got it. XD Maybe a few more rounds in the story until they see it can’t hurt them, pleasure is actually pleasure no matter the circumstances in a story. Orgasm = good. My characters still seek freedom and I will still record it, but there is no way to control how any of it is perceived. It’s all in the reader’s mind.

The individual is the god of their story, their world, their life. As your personal storyteller, do you choose to be the hero, the victim, the protector, the caretaker, the child, the clown, the villain? Do you let it change or are you stuck with one identity, struggling to be more than your job or your role in a family or the thing that fucks your brain up? So many stories we write about life, but are any of them as satisfying as the ones where we learn to love ourselves? And… insert masturbation joke here. XD

I have rambled the fuck away. Today I’m an artist, an observer of life who seeks understanding in the name of freedom from my own brain. I hope in my little journey, you have found some too. Let the walls fall down and get some fresh air, eh?

The New Boy

An Iron Eagle Gym Novel

Lance Packet just got a contract to shoot an erotic BDSM deck of cards; the only problem is finding models. So far everyone he’s interviewed thinks he’s looking for sex for hire. Then in walk three perfect examples of men: Tide and his friends, Tyrone and Bran.

Tide Germaine is a model and a Dom. He and his best friend Tyrone opened The Iron Eagle Gym as a place for gay men in the lifestyle to work out, do scenes, and congregate with like-minded men. The modeling is just another job for Tide, but it soon turns into a grand seduction as Tide falls for the shy, self-conscious photographer. The problem is Lance doesn’t believe he’s in Tide’s league, and he’s not at all sure about the Dom and sub thing.

It’s not going to be easy, but Tide’s going to have to convince Lance he belongs at Tide’s side as both lover and sub.

A Night To Remember: Phoenix Wedding Night

A night of romance, passion, and love that they’ll never forget…

Love and passion are in the air as the newlywed couples share their first night together as husbands. Finally released from their celibacy pact, the men are more than ready for a long night of warm romance and heated love. But they aren’t the only ones sharing their hearts and their bodies as other couples, yet to be wed, make the most of this enchanting evening as well.

Note: This is an M/M romance and should be read by readers 18yo and above only.

 

 

The Drunk Email

Nick has had a crush on his older brother for as long as he could remember. Justin is just so perfect; handsome, strong with blond hair and blue eyes. It’s impossible to look anywhere else. Nick never thought he’d ever tell his brother how he felt. That was until Justin went on a school trip out of country and Nick got lonely and really drunk.

Gah, Okay, Stuff!!! 🍪🍪🍪

Whoot, my head is killing me. Lots of $0.99 MM reads below!

Hey, babes. Uh… I had an idea. I know, that’s kinda my thing. I get ideas and write them down and *snort* it’s a book! XD So, some while back I had this fun idea for a kind of Demon Virus reboot. For those who missed it, Demon Virus is a free fic you can snag where the concept was the MC gets stalked through the computer by a pretty rapey incubus. Like, I wanted to make a series or a novel out of Mikey and Will hunting down the bastard incubus who changed him and others and find a way to be changed back. Except, they need to first find the next virginal victim, so Will has been tracking the incubus’s movements online as best he can, while Mikey is trying to get the thralls who are changed to not totally lose their minds from the change—yeah, cuz drama! And I was going to open on this party where they think the next strike is already underway, introduce the characters in the game and then…

Well, I think this would be another fun plot line for one of those choose your own adventure things. Because I could do so much with it. My brain loves this kind of interactive novel idea where you have the reader making choices just looking to get to all the sexy outcomes and I feel like this plot could totally suit a lot of sexy outcomes. Like ridiculous, fun, pick a character, pick a conflict and go with it. Who would be the guy chosen as the sacrifice to lure the incubus in? Would it work or will the Incubus choose someone else? What if the guy chickens out last second, goes and has sex with someone—because he doesn’t want to risk being turned into a mindless sex thrall—and someone else is picked as a result and the plan thwarted? What if Mikey can’t keep Will from being a total horny bastard (even though Mikey is the sex thrall and Will the damn human!) What happens when a bunch of poor, tormented sex thralls end up at a college party? What happens if the Incubus is actually caught?!!

I love everything about this idea, of being able to write both stories, all options (at least, the most fun, sexy ones.) Just, I still have no clue how to fucking do it. XD I think that’s why my brain is all over this. I want to solve the problem of it. The multiple plots, the how to branch a story and allow it to double back, or just end. It’s such a project and my brain loves problem solving—plus the whole writing of sexy sex. XD I could fit just about any kink I want in there depending on the branch of the story. Straight to gay, first time, incest, monster sex, multi, sex thrall gangbang—it’s a thing now that I can conceive it. Lol. And what if such a concentration of paranormal beings like incubi sex thralls attracts the attention of other paranormal beings?

It really is just this fun, anything goes kind of concept. Love it. I could set it up on the website for starters—I can’t even imagine formatting the book just yet… okay, I can because my brain is on this shit, but still. I could set it up, start it as a free thing cus it’s interactive, maybe have some extra sexy branches locked so the subscribers feel they’re getting their value for supporting me. Squee, so many possibilities… Oh, maybe I could do subscriber polls to help decide which path to explore next?!

I have defined the ending of Hellcat (at least 10,000 words more @[email protected]) and am writing it into reality this week. Ah, TJ, you’re so screwed. <3 Then it’s back to Sorcerer Slayer (yay!!!) and I think the Demon Virus idea—unless something else catches me first. Oh, I nearly have the next Demon Bonded fully outlined and sketched, too. Ky’s going to school! Oh, oh, oh, and I keep forgetting to tell people. Demon Bonded #10 is out of KU and now permanently available for $0.99. Snag it if you haven’t yet.

*deep breath* I hope you’re all enjoying your weekend. Lol, excuse my manic joyful blathering. I’m having fun in my head again. XD

Laws of Attraction- $0.99

Welcome to the world of Luke Hanson.

Every few months he has to move to a new town, so friendships and relationships are as fleeting as the scenery.

Until he ends up in Glendale for the last months of high school, where he meets the resident bad boy, Kris.

Kris is enigmatic and mysterious. With his tattoos, wit and guitar skills, he’s every girl’s, and Luke’s, dream – but he keeps distance from everyone.

Living on the two ends of society, with Luke in the uptown and Kris in the poorest neighborhood where poverty and abuse are a normal occurrence, will Luke be able to pass the emotional barriers Kris had set in place and have a real relationship?

Laws of Attraction is the first in series of MM contemporary romances, but can be read as a standalone novella with a HFN ending.
Tropes: First Time, Enemies to Lovers, Coming of Age.

Angel’s Feathers

How far would you go for the one you love? How much of yourself would you sacrifice?

Trapped on a decaying Earth and cut off from the rest of the Universe, humans are no longer allowed to leave their planet. Break this one law and you die: a penalty enforced by flyers, aliens who look like angels of long-lost religions. Michael, the flyers’ leader, is the Punisher who carries out every public execution.

Adam, a young human with near-perfect memory, is committed to rebuilding Earth and a true believer in the flyers’ dominion. While Adam’s support for flyers isn’t a secret, his deep love for Michael is. Not even Michael knows, for his kind never take human lovers, and to Adam, they are too far above him to reach.

In his broken and unwelcoming world, Adam’s love can only lead to pain, loss, and disaster. Yet there is no force in the huge expanse of stars and galaxies that can stop Adam from following Michael to the end of existence. Not even Adam’s own beliefs.

Straight By Day- $0.99

Braden:

What I thought was a casual fling from a hookup app turns out to be a meet-up with the most famous actor in the world. I want nothing more than to take advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity until I realize he’s in a relationship with an equally famous actress. However, once he informs me that the relationship is simply meant as a public cover-up, I find myself in his hotel room. It doesn’t take long before I realize that a passionate night with Patrick could turn into more than a quick rendezvous.

The other problem? He’s never gone all the way with a man.

Patrick:

For as long as I can remember, I’ve chased a glamorous life of lead roles in action films and multimillion-dollar paychecks, but a one-time hookup turns into more than a quick thrill and forces me to throw caution to the wind. The public may view me as nothing more than an action hero, but Braden sees me for who I really am. The only issue now is figuring out if I’m able to walk away from the fantasy life I’ve built to live the authentic life that I’ve only ever seen in my dreams.

With millions of people watching my every move, I have to decide if I’m strong enough to cast aside fame and fortune and finally embrace what I truly want.

Strays, Links And Demons- $0.99

Episode #10. The line between humanity and demon blurs…
Ky can’t catch a break. While trying to come to terms with the murder he helped commit, the wards to his house are broken into by a new master sorcerer. Stewart Moore is condescending, arrogant, and might be Ky’s hope or doom in his upcoming trial.
The Aeternum, a coven of demon summoners, has laid claim to Tobias’s demons and wand. If Ky can’t convince them he’s going to survive long enough to protect the seven lives he’s bonded to, the coven will forcefully take them.
Ky is betrayed when a new revelation concerning Anselm brings his entire existence into question.
There’s no one to turn to or trust when his only allies are the abused demons who exploit to survive. Ky is submerged in a world of murder, slavery, and sorcery with no way back to his old life. He’s not who he thought he was; he might have never been.

The Drunk Email—free

Nick has had a crush on his older brother for as long as he could remember. Justin is just so perfect; handsome, strong with blond hair and blue eyes. It’s impossible to look anywhere else. Nick never thought he’d ever tell his brother how he felt. That was until Justin went on a school trip out of country and Nick got lonely and really drunk.

New MM Freebie of the Month 🐾

New Freebie of the Month!

Hey, babes,

Think this is my first time having The Drunk Email free. The book where I decided if Amazon won’t compromise with step-incest (even though they do all the time for the M/F category) then I might as well write full out incest. Huzzah!

Woke up tired. Might actually be sick—like real sick, not just my immune system freaking over allergies. My brother has a cold so I can only assume it’s already too late for me. XD

I’m typing this on a new laptop. My chromebook kicked it this week. I found a laptop that can handle the editing I usually have to do on my PC. I had no working spell checker on the chromebook. @[email protected] It’s so nice to have one now even for something simple like the newsletter. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to do the formatting and file creation stuff I thought I could only do in Linux. Not an issue after all, it just took a little bit to figure out the Windows command prompt.

It’s been a very quiet couple of weeks. Cold, still, calm. I’m sure the world is buzzing out there, but except for my laptop change, I’m happy to be bundled up in the house oblivious to the stresses and drama. That said, I’m so excited about Hellcat, you can’t even understand. It’s finally turning into something I hadn’t planned. That might sound weird, but when I plan things, it’s kinda, well, predictable. The characters jump through hoops I set up and it feels forced. Hellcat has finally reached the place where everything is happening through the characters, not me, and they’re reacting perfectly.

This was a problem I saw in the new Star Wars movie, actually. It felt like the director didn’t know how to tell a story. He found every element the previous movie set up and deconstructed it down to worthless. Every mystery you wanted answered he popped a pin in and deflated until I just didn’t give a fuck. My brain had nothing to solve and my heart had no investment. And yeah, I know nothing means anything, and value is in the beholder, but stories are for the ego. The audience lives and is entertained through the ego. The director didn’t know how to filter through his and it left everything blah.

Art is literally taking what exists around us and insisting there is a meaning. A house becomes a place of safety and years of love. A hand reaching out is the only kindness known is a lifetime of pain. Punching someone is defeating evil and protecting everything you know—or an injustice! A rivalry where the outrage has no outlet and can never be forgiven. It’s the meaning behind an action that gives it power to the viewer, not the action. Everything is an action but that doesn’t make it a story.

When you see the ‘good guy’ punch the ‘bad guy’ after the good guy grins and bears just one too many hits to his pride, the audience cheers because they felt those hits like they were real and they want vengeance in the way of physical pain back. No, that bad guy may have never physically harmed your hero, but to the audience the pain feels real—even though it’s on a screen or it’s just words of text. I know, it’s amazing! XD Good storytelling immerses an audience and makes them feel what the character feels. It reminds them of old pain and lets them see it in a new light. It gets their brain going as they try to solve the ending—will they be led to salvation or doom and how exactly are they going to get there?

This is humanity in life, trapped by emotions that they place on meaningless actions—because people insist things have meaning. It’s fun. It’s entertaining. Take the meaning away, take the motivation out, and there’s nothing to become engaged in. It’s just people doing things.

You know where I saw this done well recently in book form? The Raven Prince. In the final story, the title story.  It has all the characteristics of understanding human motivation and reaction and filtering through the character so the reader can feel and respond. The ego makes for great storytelling—painful living, but great storytelling. XD

Prey by Wendy Rathbone

Captain Mordecai Paronne’s routine is disrupted! When nine rescued slaves board his starship, he is forced to recall an incident when he was 17 where he narrowly escaped being abducted by the same mysterious aliens these men have lived with for many years. Now the nightmare is upon him again.

What these men, and countless others who remain in captivity went through defies all ethics and behavior Mordecai holds under close control.

Add to that, the reports he is receiving from the eldest captive, 25 year old Arcana, are horrifying and devastating, but also darkly erotic. Extremely conflicted, Mordecai begins to feel mired in shameful desires he is determined to resist.

Arcana is the most beautiful human Mordecai has ever laid eyes on. While Arcana should be broken by all he has been through, Mordecai soon learns that Arcana is a survivor who is unashamed by what he went through, and who blatantly talks of his love for his captor, and his own strange desires that gave him a foundation from which he could gain strength to survive seven years in an alien realm.

But though Arcana appears mentally and physically healthy, he is also very troubled. He knows he cannot fit easily back into human society. He does not wish to be reunited with his family, nor does he have skills that can land him a legitimate job.

Adept at getting what he needs to survive, Arcana places all his focus on seducing Mordecai, who represents everything he thinks he needs to live, to be happy, and most of all, to feel safe.

Will Arcana’s tendencies and honesty be enough to win a man with a compulsive need for control of his ship and his own personal life?

Can Mordecai reconcile his darker desires with an insecurity that he is incapable of giving Arcana what he needs?

A gay, fantasy/scifi romance.

Mature content: Contains depictions of torture and sexual assault, but not between the two main characters. Also contains scenes of a psychologically dark nature.

The Drunk Email- A Brothercest Erotica

Nick has had a crush on his older brother for as long as he could remember. Justin is just so perfect; handsome, strong with blond hair and blue eyes. It’s impossible to look anywhere else. Nick never thought he’d ever tell his brother how he felt. That was until Justin went on a school trip out of country and Nick got lonely and really drunk.

Bringing The Sin Back 👄

Hey, first snowfall outside where I am…

Writing up a storm, so apologies for the lateness and quickness of this newsletter. I went back into Hellcat and realized it just didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel like a Sadie Sins book, so I channeled my inner deviant and outlined a few new scenes to fix it. My writing has been too tame lately. I came to the conclusion if I don’t have the odd confused reader bitching a one star review that the book is way too dirty and going to ruin impressionable minds, I have failed at my job. There’s no excuse besides a lack of fun, so time to bring the fun back with exaggeration, angst, dubcon, straight to gay, and hard fucking. XD

I have not been having fun lately. Again started taking shit way too seriously. It’s lame. My first and only Christmas story was Obsession, a full incest father/son + burglar. What the hell has been wrong with me lately? I blame Trump, the fucker, and all the sexual misconduct coming out in Hollywood. They don’t know how to make rape into a sexy fantasy, and just ruin it for everyone, the pasty, flabby fucks.

Oh, new Apprentice Saga cover, finally! Did one of Liem, Tobias, and Brave. A kinda villain cover. <3 I should have these guys moved soon and Apprentice Saga republished. Eventually. Busy work is so, well, busy.

Goodies below

<3

Fair Catch — $0.99

Tom Hoffman took a huge risk when he came out early in his football career.

One teammate in particular has always caught his eye. Not only is Chuck Wilson an incredible athlete, but he’s very handsome too. When they’re paired up together for a media event, Tom is thrilled to have the opportunity to greet this new colleague he’s always admired… but it turns out that Chuck isn’t as naturally friendly as Tom is.

Can Tom get through to Chuck and help him overcome his fear? Can Chuck learn to accept himself and move on with his life?

 

 

 

Switch — free

Greg is worried about his best friend Kyle. Kyle’s life seems to be spiraling out of control. Greg doesn’t mind picking up the pieces, but his normally smart, ambitious and good-looking friend seems more distracted than usual after his last break-up. And he’s starting to get annoyed at Greg trying to lend him a hand.
What Greg doesn’t realize is that Kyle is keeping something from him… and it could change both of their lives forever.

**EXTRA FREE BOOK INSIDE**

 

 

 

 

Vampire Claus

A lonely vampire and a fearless mortal with no instinct for self-preservation. Isn’t that what Christmas is all about?

‘Twas the night before Christmas, but what’s stirring is a little more dangerous than a mouse.

Taviano is nearly two hundred years old and never wakes in the same place twice. Weary and jaded, the vampire still indulges in memories of childhood Christmases in Naples. He lingers in shadow, spying on mortals as they enjoy the holiday.

When Taviano spots a handsome young man in Boston loaded down with presents and about to be mugged, he can’t help but intervene. Soon he’s talking to joyous, naïve, strong-willed and funny Paul, a short-order cook who raised funds to buy Christmas presents for LGBTQ children. Before he knows what’s happened, Taviano is wrapped up in Paul’s arms and then in his schemes to get the presents delivered by Christmas morning.

A vampire turned into a Christmas elf… What could go wrong?

 

Demencious Saga — free this month

This volume contains episodes 1-4 of Demon Bonded, as well as the bonus episode ‘Far From Home’, written by Sadie Sins and previously published 2015-2016. Demencious Saga is the first saga in the mm erotic world of Demon Bonded. This serial is a fun play on monster collecting and male harems. Expect demon bonding, master/slave relationships of mild and abusive nature, multiple partners, magical powers, learning how to be a sorcerer, and conflict with crueler demon masters.

Sating The Dementor’s Kiss 10

SCENE 10

Not only was Sirius Black a fast learner, he was also a terribly sore loser. Harry could not remember the last time he had heard such colorful swearing, and to such a passionate extent. Half of the time he was trying not to laugh at the man as he was sideswiped onto grass or off cliffs, slowed down by obstacles and turtle shells.

“Fucking chicken shit shells!”

Harry snickered sleepily, dragging into a turn and feeling Sirius behind him on the couch tilting his entire body in an attempt to do the same. He was vaguely aware that birds were chirping outside, the sun insisting on shining even though Harry was only now starting to feel ready to try and sleep again.

“Here, take this controller instead,” Harry said when the set of races was done. “There are other games if you want to play. Just make sure the box has this logo on it,” he said, pointing to the insignia on the game case. “There are plenty of dvd’s you can watch if you get tired of that… but I don’t think that’s going to be a problem,” Harry added with a smile, the man completely hooked on video games in a matter of hours.

Sirius took the large controller when handed to him, staring with interest at the miniature screen in the center of it. Harry leaned up a final time, pointing out buttons and how to navigate through the main menu, yawning halfway through. “I’m gonna go back to bed,” he mumbled, pulling himself to his feet and heading for the stairs.

Once the boy left, Sirius slowly slid down to the floor, resting his back in mirror to how Harry had been sitting earlier against the couch. He stretched his legs out, relaxing, eyes straying around the room as he debated on which character to race with. His focus kept going back to the space beneath the tv console, foot rocking back and forth idly.

That had been a lot of flesh colored people for one little case cover. But not just flesh, but flesh wrapped in leather and thin cords, metal rings, one young man with a very bright red ball gag… Jamie and Lily’s sweet little boy was a total perv. Leaning forward, Sirius sneaked his hand out, hooking the last case Harry had nudged under the console and pulling if free. A total, nasty little pervert that apparently had a thing for young men being tied up and dominated by much larger, stronger men.

Eyes scanning the front of the case, he flipped to the back, squinting at the text. Reading was a little difficult after all these years, words looking unfamiliar. He tried to sound some out, eyebrows rising the further he went. Decided, he clicked the case open, ejected the game disk he was playing and switched it for the sharp edged dvd.

He quickly fumbled for the volume, eyes glancing up towards the ceiling. Nothing. The kid was hardly a quiet walker. Shit, but what a perv… Sirius couldn’t help it, clamping his hand over his mouth as the screen filled with very nude, very moaning flesh. It was no use, his laughter breaking free.

Crap, he could never watch porn, always finding it ridiculously funny… Although… he had never seen gay porn before, just the weird stuff James had rustled up with a lot of bushy chicks, very hung, but not always attractive men, and some drug induced artsy themes. This was definitely less funny… once you got over the awkwardness of watching some guy get tied up and forced to suck cock… Which Sirius was adapting to rather quickly, head tilting and socked foot rocking back and forth on the floor.

“Holy crap,” he muttered, hand covering his eyes only to peek through his fingers. When did condoms start coming out in rainbow colors? And when did men start looking so smooth down there? How they managed not to shave their balls off… “Hell… How can he…?” Sirius tilted his head the other way, side of his thumb wedged between his teeth as the very smooth blond boy was folded beyond human capability—he was pretty sure people could not contort that way—and crammed full of the larger, muscular sandy blond man.

Sirius pulled his thumb from his mouth, hitting the skip forward button on the remote. Tongue slipping over his teeth, he stopped at one with a rather slim looking brunette with dark eyes, hands being bound behind his back roughly while he whimpered. His captor could hardly be seen, wearing some weird leather hat blocking most of his face. He could be heard though, saying some very nasty things into the boy’s ear as he pushed him down onto a sturdy workbench. Why they were nude and in a garage with grease and auto parts lying around was beyond Sirius, but it didn’t seem to really matter much. Well, except for when the boy was suddenly gagged with a dirty looking rag… Maybe they were in a garage just to put that filthy rag in that very pretty mouth? The boy didn’t seem to mind, his dark eyes hooded with lust as he was roughly slammed forward and, “Ohhh.” Sirius was starting to understand the point of the garage now, a thick screwdriver handle lubed and pushed into the boy’s tight hole, being driven in and out, wrenched to the sides in likely painful ways.

Gaping at the very graphic view of just how tight that hole was, Sirius had a worrying thought. Did that kid let men do that to him? Was little Lily’s sweet tot out letting men fuck him in garages with screwdrivers and… thick hammer handles? “Holy hell,” Sirius groaned, hand again covering his eyes but failing to actually block the view. Was this just normal sex for gay men now?

Sirius grabbed quickly for the dvd box, eyes moving through the text. Fetish… fantasy… virginal—that brunette was totally not a virgin—unique, naughty bondage fantasies. Oh, thank god. Not normal. Very much fetish. Just weird, kinky… Sirius’s eyes were drawn to the screen again, his breath caught in his throat. “That won’t fit with that…” he croaked out only to be proven very wrong as the boy was double penetrated by hammer and screwdriver together.

Sirius hit the pause button, closed his eyes at just what had been paused at, and hit the eject button. “That boy needs help.” With shaking fingers, he slipped the dvd back into its case and pushed it back under the console. Then, because he was there and he really needed to know, he started pulling everything out from under the tv console, sorting as he went.

James had spawned a gay, sex-crazed, totally deranged deviant of a son. Maybe it was Lily’s fault—She had always been wild, James once confessing that she wore him out on more than one occasion keeping him up all night. Sirius had tried to tune it out at the time, really not that interested in what his best friend and girlfriend were getting up to. If he had realized what the end result of their union would be, maybe he would have said something. This couldn’t be normal.

At least, he didn’t remember it to be… Sirius used to have a flock of girls following him around in school, quickly finding out that they just weren’t that interesting. He had thought maybe he was just really fucked up by his abusive family and couldn’t let anyone in sexually. Then he’d had a random encounter with a bold sixth year punk in the boy’s bathroom his graduating year, resulting in a phenomenal blow job that had proven that he should have been barking up trousers instead of skirts. And for a very short while, he had really enjoyed exploring that new knowledge. Quietly, because being gay could still get your ass beat although not nearly as dangerous as being hunted by Voldemort.

Nothing Sirius had ever seen looked like the stuff on these boxes. Actually, he was pretty sure there wasn’t even gay stuff on boxes back then—maybe some girl on girl stuff. But there were a shit ton of gay boxes here, the majority with young men tied up and on display. Sirius tried to think back to James’s porn collection of magazines… James had probably collected twice as many magazines than his son had dvds… Maybe Harry wasn’t that fucked up…

But there were a lot of people tied up. Sirius flipped through the cases, finding only one that didn’t have anyone bound and sometimes gagged on the cover. Bedroom, flesh, sex… Sirius clicked the case open, sliding the disk in the tray and waiting for it to turn on.

There we go; people in clothes. Just two very attractive young men in clothes, kissing, and touching, and not tying each other up. And yes, those clothes did eventually end up on the floor, which was very nice as well as was when they started rolling on the bed with a very ugly looking bedspread. And if they both stopped because someone was knocking on the door, that couldn’t be too terrible because the pizza guy showing up in their bedroom was actually quite attractive and didn’t seem interested in tying anyone up either, just taking his clothes off and rolling on the bed too.

Sirius had not had pizza in over twenty years. He was pretty sure that was what everyone kept saying—Twenty. He could really go for some pizza… Maybe with a delivery guy that looked like this one… or better yet, like the slender, dark eyed brunette from the other video that was totally not a virgin. Sirius was actually rather curious to know if anything else ended up in that deceptively tight looking hole.

Humming to himself, he switched the dvd’s, trying to think what topping of pizza he would want to try first after all this time.