Archive: February 22, 2019

February 22

And now I’m going to hit my head against a wall…

No, no bedtime. Already 5 am dealing with the fact that Paypal won’t process the subscription on the checkout page but it will on any other page. WTF?

I am so sick of computers. This shit is all about WORKING, making life easier, but it never works. It never does what it’s supposed to. All I do is find workarounds to make broken software thousands to fucking millions of people use every fucking day. Tech is finicky like it’s organic, but it’s not organic, it’s fucking tech, so work! Ugh.

I might have to sign up for some sort of exclusive paypal thing, except this shit shouldn’t even require it, and it may not even be the problem but the fact that it’s a virtual product but not a download–this is stupid shit! Stupid, pointless, who the fuck puts something out there broken instead of, you know, fixing your damn shit?!

I’m so tired. =_= bitchy and tired and this shit never ends.


February 22

Seriously? Ugh…

Spent the day transferring people and I’ve only gotten 42 done? This is going to take forever. =_=

I don’t even understand why this is taking so long. I can’t seem to get a damn flow. I’m stopping now because it’s something I don’t want to make mistakes about, and being tired = mistakes. I don’t feel like I’m moving slowly. If anything, it feels like the world is way too slow. Waiting for a webpage to load feels excruciating. I’m set to a certain pace and the computer just can’t keep up.

I dunno, I might have to tap the love of my life in for some back up, otherwise this is going to take so freaking long. I’m so done with this computer shit. I want to get back to writing. I have so many damn ideas and I’m just stuck waiting, being a boring adult instead of getting to the good stuff.

My goal is to get it done before the weekend. Problem solving; it’s my thing. So I’ll just problem solve this into a more streamlined solution.


February 21


I hate repetition. I feel like I’m trapped doing homework or some shit while transferring members. Normally I’d turn this into an assembly line sort of thing, but I don’t feel confident enough in trying to mass produce something that if I were to fuck up could result in passwords sent to the wrong people, or cancellation dates being messed up. So this. Redundant, repetitive, mundane data entry.

When I was young and full of terrible anxiety, I used to think data entry would be the perfect job. How simple. Just put info in the right boxes and never have to talk to a living soul. Bliss. Seeing as I want to claw my eyes out, I might have been idealizing that particular occupation just a tad. >_>

Yes, I stopped to bitch! I’m bored, and I hate this, and now that I’m in my 30’s I’m fucking done with homework! XD I want to blast something loud and energizing but the bf is napping right next to me as I work. *grumpy face*



February 21

I dreamed of CSS :/

I wish I was joking, but no. I kept waking up, my mind racing, trying to solve whatever pointless echo of a problem it was remembering from the computer stuff. So glad to be done with this. My house is a mess; I honestly can’t say when I last showered or even ate a proper meal. Sleep? Ha.

The next steps should flow faster. Or, at least, be so mundane that it shouldn’t actually engage my creative process enough to require full obsessive attention. Data entry. Blah. My goal is to have it all done by the weekend, then to recover and get back to writing.

I haven’t taken my supplements in a couple days. I’m kinda using the down time as an excuse to test my limits now that my health has returned. It’s been interesting. I have to actively remember I’ve been sick now. Like, I’ve already forgotten because the pain is gone and my clarity is back. It’s really unexpected considering just how long I have unconsciously identified myself as ill. I think I need a new author photo, actually. I don’t need the mask anymore (well, as long as I stay out of that messed up room full of who the hell knows what.) Everything has changed and my consciousness needs to catch up…


February 19

Almost done, for real

As excruciating as updating the website was, there is a silver lining in all this. 1) it looks fucking awesome! Seriously, it’s gorgeous. I feel like it’s my damn birthday or something, I’m just so happy with how it looks and responds. 2) I will never, ever, ever have to take a fucking week to update the website again. No, I spent the entire day today (after finally convincing myself it was worth the effort) to put in the css ID’s for both pattern styles on each and every damn page. Argyle and Skulls each have their own setting. That way, the next time I want to change out the background images, update fonts, etc, I just go into my theme editor, go to the corresponding css sections, and I can change everything in the matter of seconds. No joke. No more going in page to page to adjust little font colors on specific backgrounds on every page; it’s all in the css now. If I decide the skulls are too busy (but they’re so cute! I learned how to make seamless background! <3) I can switch out to a png image and change the font color to contrast in moments. Love it!

It’s such a fucking relief. I’ve been using this cool search/replace plugin that lets me update the database in an instant, but for whatever reason, it wouldn’t update any transparent pngs. The code would change but I was forced to go to every page that png was on, open it up in the editor and save it before it would load the new image. Every fucking time. @[email protected] Not with the ID tags. Nope, I just update the image there and it loads those pngs like it’s nothing. Thank fuck.

So, yeah, a fuck ton of time spent now, but worth it to avoid all the time I would have spent later. And I would have. I’m fucking neurotic and obsessive and yeah, apparently getting healthy means my brain has more power over my impulses than before. There is no way I can play an RPG again; I would never stop.

A few more things to wrap up from building the new landing pages for the $5 options, and remembering which little option (totally doesn’t do what it says it will do) that keeps making it so my shop is invisible to non members. Fucking obnoxious. And then sending out emails with new passwords, etc. But almost done. I can’t wait to start creating a ton of content to flood this beautiful site with. <3