8 years now—and let me say what a fucking achievement that is. I started dating Brian 8 years ago during a time when my PTSD was out of control, my parents were recently dead, and I was just a few months out of pulling myself free of homelessness, a psych ward, and an ex girlfriend/borderline drug addict. I was quite clearly not looking for love. Love didn’t give a fuck; it never does.
Through our long term relationship, we both learned about a year in (once the honeymoon phase was over) that living for another person was going to kill us both. XD Seriously, don’t do this. I know it is so easy; we were young and everything around said to be a ‘couple was to compromise who you are.’ No. Fucking no. That’s a compromise on the ego, not a compromise about taking care of yourself and ignoring who you are, and too few people understand that. Your partner does not exist to complete you, complement you, share your interests, or hold your hand through life. They exist, you exist, and where you meet in the middle is fucking awesome but if you force the two of you to stay there 24-7, the rest of you will atrophy and die until that relationship is an ugly wound of bitterness and hate. Relationships are non-entities; don’t turn them into something bigger than the beings meeting and loving.
It took us a few years to figure that all out, and then I got sick. Four years of sick. Four years, to the point that I try not to call Brian my boyfriend lately because I still have it in my head that any kind of attachment to me while I was a sliver of my former self is just going to drag him into misery and illness. The last year of me regaining health has also been a very tentative year of renaming how we see each other. And it’s going to continue to be a slow process because some shit just doesn’t change over night. I watched 4 vibrant beings be consumed by illness and eventually die, and I am well aware from the outside it was what I looked like. Until I got that mold toxicity diagnosis and actually started to treat my severe allergies, we had no idea why all my other treatments weren’t working and it was just waiting to see when it was going to end. That is a lot of weight to put on the people who love me. Four years of that weight.
There are a lot of things in life we don’t get to choose, but we’re still around to experience. I have had the opportunity to watch an amazing man struggle, grow stronger, and find himself while the world shakes around us. His resilient spirit and easy laugh has made the overwhelming bearable, even though I fear he sacrificed too much of himself in his need to save me. It’s that thing we do where we live through others and ignore our own needs. I still have the greatest joy when I see the ones I love succeed and find peace with their inner demons. Even though I’m dedicated to growing and being the best person I can be, a part of that is so the people around me won’t suffer by being around the not so great me who shows up once in a while.
It’s going to be months before Puerto Rico has their electric grid up. Since Fema has been removing data of what’s happening from their own website, I thought I’d share the Puerto Rico website where you can get the stats on their situation and a way to donate. It’s actually pretty interesting to see their goals, priority being clean water. It’s really easy to take that tap water for granted until you lose it and you’re dehydrating.
I feel like I’ve spent the last 6 months watching and growing used to Trump being a toddler. Every time he acts out, the consequences never seem to follow the way we fear. Puerto Rico isn’t the same, and I think it’s important to remind us all of that. Trump refusing to even look the German Chancellor in the eye like some petulant child even though she’s been called the leader of the free world won’t result in the possible devastation that can happen on one small island if they don’t get the help they need. It’s really easy to put our energy into our anger and outrage instead of into being constructive. It’s human nature, like mob mentality. It’s easy to feed the reaction to the outrageous instead of doing something about it. We’re better than that, but it takes waking up to realize it. If I donated a nickel for every time I said something bad about Trump, well, I’d be broke, that’s for sure. XD
So, if you’re wondering how to channel your rage after seeing Trump go down to Puerto Rico, have himself a self-congratulatory circle jerk, and then leave four hours later, I suggest donating. You’ll feel like you’re doing something instead of stewing in bitterness and misery.
Freebie of the Month is The Autumn Prince! I’ve added Liem’s story from Demon Bonded #9 in there too (which reminds me I haven’t updated the ARC site yet. @[email protected] So much stuff to remember. I need to start writing things down.) Hellcat has started. Subscribers can read as I write it up on the website. My goals are to get Intangible and Hellcat finished this month and hopefully republish City Howls so I can write the next episode.
Oh, Demencious Saga is published, so for those who don’t want to shell out for the first 4 episodes of Demon Bonded, you can get the bundle for cheap, basically 1/2 the price. I want to keep my focus on Hellcat and get that fic out by Halloween, so I don’t expect to have Apprentice Saga republished (it’s all about making a cover) until the beginning of September. Sorry for the delay, just, I can only juggle so much.
Don’t miss the books below. I hope you all have an amazing weekend. I’m going to be spending mine with Brian being a total nerd and loving it. <3
This book contains episodes #1-4 from Demon Bonded, titled ‘Something Waiting In The Dark,’ ‘Breathing Under The Bed,’ ‘The Killer Wardrobe,’ and ‘Magnificent Night,’ and includes the bonus episode, ‘Far From Home.’ Previously published from 2015-1016, these episodes have been reedited and republished.
Demencious Saga is the first saga in the mm erotic world of Demon Bonded. This serial is a fun, suspenseful play on monster collecting and male harems. Expect demon bonding, master/slave relationships of mild and abusive nature, multiple partners, magical powers, learning how to be a sorcerer, and conflict with crueler demon masters.
Alpha professor Alan Archer is king of his world, until a winsome nineteen-year-old omega freshman upends his confidence. Nobody talked to Professor Archer like that before. And Professor Archer never thought he could be attracted to a student. But freshman omega Os is so different from all the other students.
Os came to college to get away from the stigma of being an omega. Nobody knows how unsure of himself he used to be. Nowadays, he’s owning being an omega. Just barely, if his insecurities don’t eat him up.
Alan and Os’s professor-student love brings a pregnancy that has to be kept out of sight. Alan and Os manage college, busybodies, and all the travails of pregnancy, on their journey together to fatherhood and forever love.
College Omega’s Secret Baby is a non-shifter male pregnancy romance with a sweet college student, an arrogant professor, endless cuddling, a secret pregnancy, pink-nosed bunny slippers, an adorable baby girl, and a feel-good HEA.
They’re dangerous men. Absolute enemies. And totally hot for each other.
Two years ago, the men in Will’s unit were killed in an ambush because they were betrayed. Now Will has a chance to go after the corrupt billionaire who sold them out.
One problem: the billionaire’s bodyguard. Nobody knows what he looks like; they only know him by the trail of bodies he leaves behind.
Will their passion destroy them both?
Kit’s a hardened assassin who’ll do what it takes to protect his boss. But when Will moves on the billionaire at an elite party, things with Will and Kit take an unexpected—steamy—twist.
Now Kit has to convince Will to walk away–from his quest for justice, and from the red-hot passion that’s spinning out of control.
It’s bad outside. To the point my arms are starting to feel heavy. I was wondering how bad the allergy situation would have to be to overwhelm my fasting system. This bad, apparently.
Okay, I got a ton of $0.99 books for you guys. What else… Sorcerer Slayer is now up to scene #41. A petting turned straight into makeout session (Vince is just ridiculous <3) Intangible #9 is up and I’m hoping to have another Awakening this weekend once I get some new banners made. Cuz multitasking.
Hey, it’s been a month since I started the subscription site! Huzzah!
Anyone ever read Animorphs? It was this young adult series I used to read in… I want to say middle school. I revisited it the other day and was struck with how that was probably the series where I fell in love with shifters. And where I learned a serial format of writing. Funny the things that inspire us when we’re not even paying attention…
Could I write a young adult series? O_o I just don’t see me writing without there being sex everywhere.
Queer Romance is having a sale! Mostly $0.99, but a few higher prices thrown in too. Link below.
Smashwords is having a month long sale with free to discounted books! The categories vary and new books–they’re expecting hundreds–will be added throughout the month. It involves some searching but I’m sure there are gems to be found. Make sure your Adult and Erotica filters are on. XD Link below at the bottom.
Happy soon to be 4th. Sort of. Seriously, the idea of celebrating the independence of America with a racist, bigoted, fucktard in office doesn’t really thrill me. Is it patriotism or nationalism at this point? Keep waiting for the dinosaurs to go extinct only to have a new movement in regressivism sweep in. :/ There’s no going back.
I remember this book I read as a kid (I read a fucking lot XD) On The Flip Side. Technology had woken up a dimensional species of aliens who started attacking humans. The answer was the entire human race warped through willpower alone to another parallel world. No one remembered who they were but they were in a regressive existence without tech. That was the end. Like moving sideways and backward and forgetting all their experiences solved a thing. It was an annoying ending for a book–yeah, as a kid in elementary school I remember being pissed off. Who runs away from their planet after they fucked it up? What kind of lesson is that? It’s even more implausible in practice. You can’t go back and there is nowhere left to run. People need to learn to get along and deal with the mess they make.
Blah. Hope the weather treats you all well wherever you’re living. ^^ Don’t get allergies. Just don’t. It makes you grumpy and think about tons of books you once read.
In the dim lights of Aurora’s premier kink club waits an alpha eager to take control.
Billionaire Crawford Daniels has bedded submissives before, but he’s never given one his collar. That privilege is reserved for the man who’s strong-willed enough to tell him no, but whose pretty lips always say yes. Crawford wants more than a pet—he wants a partner. Someone to pamper and spoil.
Hidden behind case reports and paperwork waits an omega afraid to give it all up.
Owen Ellis has fought tooth and nail to rise above his omega status and find success. He’s educated, successful, and independent, but deep inside, he knows something is missing. A mistake during his teenage years has led to a lifetime of loneliness, and Owen refuses to surrender his heart again. He’s afraid to be hurt.
He’ll never let another alpha in.
But some rules are meant to be broken. When Owen meets Crawford and sparks fly, Owen has to decide if happiness is worth the risk. The choice is always his. He can walk away and embrace loneliness—
—or he can wear Crawford’s collar and obey.
Obey is a 42,000 word stand-alone novella packed full of steamy BDSM, MPreg, one of the hottest uses for an ice cube ever, and a happily ever after that proves in the end, love really does win.
Clair is a brilliant nineteen-year-old disowned for being gay…
Clair’s father found his Chrome search history. Now Clair is homeless, living in his car and dreaming about making use of his Harvard acceptance letter, or ungaying himself to make his life easier. His only friend is his cat Linus. In an emergency, Clair has no choice but to take Linus to Blake Jorgensen, the rage-filled veterinarian everybody warned him about.
Blake is an ultra-successful veterinarian with a lonely heart and a dirty mouth…
Everybody knows: Blake Jorgensen isn’t a nice guy. His clinic is called Pussy-Hound, and the building looks more like a strip club than a vet’s office. Blake rains profanities on clients who don’t take proper care of their animals, his office music is Marilyn Manson, and his assistant is a nervous handlebar-mustachioed dude named Catsmeat. But mostly, Blake is profoundly lonely. He knows that no man in Amelia Island will put up with a veterinarian who works fifteen-hour days and is singularly devoted to helping animals.
Their first meeting is a mess. Blake dresses down Clair, while Clair worries about what a guy named Catsmeat will do to Linus. But Blake is the only person willing to help not only Linus recover from tularemia, but Clair recover from his loneliness and uncertainty.
Clair can’t stop admiring Blake’s ripped body, his professional dedication, and his wacky humor — while Blake is in love with a lanky young man who’s smart, wise, caring, and handsome way beyond his nineteen years.
Blake offers Clair a room at his beachfront mansion, with absolutely no obligations. Clair assumes Blake expects a little something-something, but Blake pushes him away. If Clair can’t accept Blake’s secret, he and Blake might remain nothing more than housemates.
Meow is a gay romantic comedy with a feel-good HEA, copious breath mints, a profanity-activated feeder, lots of laughs, and a whiny cat named Paul Lynde. No cliffhanger, no cheating, and no sad kitties.
Threesomes With Bad Bays Is Sure To Add Some Excitement In Mitchell’s Sex Life
Mitchell didn’t really have much excitement in his life until his friends convinced him to sign up for a dating site. He expected boring dates with men who just wanted to get in his pants like he’d always had, but when a pair of big muscular boys sent him a message, he knew he had to reply.
Now, he has to balance his old life of being an innocent man in a boring job, with the excitement of being the love-toy for a pair of hunks, and not just that, but bear shifters! Keeping their secret, when disaster strikes, he has to decide; will he go beyond just having a bit of fun and become their mate?
Writing stories that make people hard doesn’t have to be hard!
Why are so many people getting into writing and self publishing erotica? According to the New York Times, the porn industry brings in $10 to $14 billion dollars a year. You can tap into that income, too!
What about E. L. James, author of the hit erotica series Fifty Shades of Grey? As of late July in 2012, the author had sold 15 million copies of her books in the United States and Canada alone. That’s why so many people are getting into this business.
Making money with erotica isn’t as easy as people make it seem, though. That’s why you need this guide.
Buy this quick how-to guide now and start earning money!
What are the best stock photos? How big should a cover be? Where should the font go? How and where do I advertise my stories? What should my stories even be about?
How often have you heard, “Nobody makes money from self-publishing”? It’s coming from the mouths of authors, agents, publishers and editors out of ignorance… or malice. Don’t fall for their lies!
If you’re looking to jump-start your career in writing, though, self-publishing is the average person’s solution. The problem is, the information you need is scattered all over the internet. And frankly, the money is best in erotica, and money is ultimately the bottom line between you and writing full-time.
Wylie Doe has screwed himself once again with the help of his freakish demon arms. Sentenced to an academy for out of control paranormal boys, he finds himself surrounded by shifters, sorcerers, and halflings while facing an identity crisis. He has a dragon inside him that’s in love with a sorcerer he’s only just met.
Dorian Black is wealthy, cool, and extraordinarily powerful, but he hides a deadly secret. Drawn to Wylie and his alpha shifter ways, he can’t stop his dangerous attraction or the literal sparks that fly between them. Wylie’s everything Dorian’s been dreaming of but isn’t allowed to have.
When gangsters call Wylie out to face his past, he’s ready to take responsibility for his mistakes. Will Dorian finally make a stand for the boy he’s fallen for? Or will Wylie find out the hard way if his dragon scales can stop a downpour of bullets?
This novel contains explicit m/m sexual content, graphic language and violence. Expect sexual tension, animal behavior, mating of a very wet variety, angst, bloodlust, an institution filled with hot paranormal boys, first time experiences and some sweet sap near the end. All sexually active characters are 18+