Harry couldn’t find Draco. He wasn’t in Herbology class and hadn’t left for the loo. It was only once he remembered to switch to the fifth plane to find Draco he felt his call. It was loud frantic and beyond insistent. Draco moved through the castle, past the Great Hall and toward the main doors. Harry quickly jumped down the flight of stairs he was on and ran to catch up. He wasn’t certain why he was running. Draco’s call felt wrong and a part of him had to make sure his mate was okay.

Harry paused at the bizarre scene of Narcissa standing in the hallway. The normally refined woman was frenzied. Her wand was out and her hands shook as she cast a locating spell out. The light glowed and shot ahead as it searched for Draco. Harry lingered long enough to hear her mutter something about the dragon ring. When he searched, he saw it glinting in her hand instead of on Draco’s finger. Harry took off without another thought. He ran full speed through the castle following the trail of light.

***

Draco didn’t see Severus Snape, who was rounding the dungeon stairs as he passed. He didn’t hear him with the blood rushing in his ears. He could feel the Vesper’s call pushing at the boundaries of his mind. Within him was only anger and terror. Need and emptiness. Far beneath it all was a cry for help to the only one who could stop the madness from overtaking him. But Harry wasn’t here and Draco couldn’t stop his feet.

He would never fear again. He would go to them, be done with it, and never fear another thought or want for another life.

What had Lucius felt when he took off the ring? He knew he would be transformed into the creature his brother became. Had his greater fear been for his own son’s safety than his own? Or did he feel the desire? There was a hot fire rushing over Draco’s skin even now. Had it been this wild madness pulsing an unceasing call that finally drove his father to pass the ring to the next Malfoy heir?

“Mr. Malfoy, can you hear me?”

Draco’s mind struggled as his walk remained steady. He took the ring off. Threw it somewhere in the hall. He needed the ring… No. No, he didn’t.

He didn’t need anything. They were outside. He didn’t need anything as long as his pack was there.

A hand grasped his shoulder. Draco started and stared into Severus’s black eyes. “Draco, you’re unwell. Come with me.”

Draco felt him try to push at his mind and compel him to obey. Severus was no watch for the Vesper; he was one mind battling twenty.

Draco tilted his head and his lashes lowered like he was listening to something far away. He abruptly pulled away and a laugh caught in his throat. Another bubbled forth and broke free and he hunched forward. Something tickled in his stomach. Power licked inside him and Draco pulled at it. A white glow rose forth and pushed Severus back. The small tables that lined the hall went careening after him as portraits flew from the walls and crashed in an array of splintering wood.

Laughter bubbled from Draco’s lips as he resumed his walk to the Vesper.

***

Severus couldn’t remember the last time he used magic on a student. There was a very extensive code of ethics handbook on this particular subject. It was so extensive he usually felt the best way to not get sued was to avoid the situation all together. That wasn’t an option now. Severus pushed all thoughts of consequence aside and cast a barrage of restraining spells on his current favorite pupil.

If Draco felt any of the spells, he showed no sign. He innately blocked the majority of Severus’s curses. An odd glow flared each time a spell came near and the magic bounced off ineffectively. The few that did hit, Draco walked off uncaring. Rope coiled around him and then abruptly fell to the ground limp. Fetter clamped to his ankles and wrists only to clatter open and crash to the ground. Strongly woven nets tore like spider silk beneath Draco’s glowing hands.

More concerning was the laughter; Draco sounded insane. The main entrance to the castle was just ahead and Draco moved with clear determination toward it. Dread tightened in Severus’s gut as he realized what exactly must be waiting on the other side of the doors.

“Malfoy, you’ve left me no other recourse,” Severus announced as he raised his wand. “If I can’t restrain you, then I must attack.” It was an action absolutely prohibited in the dusty tome of ethics. The sleeves of his black cloak billowed with his movements as Severus sent a hailstorm of bludgers down on Draco. If he was lucky, he’d break enough of his bones to keep him from getting out the front door.

***

Harry rounded the corner the same moment a blinding light encased Draco. He ducked as bludgers exploded out and smashed into the stone walls along with Severus. The shrapnel went through Harry and left him unharmed but the great power Draco was giving off felt like a tidal wave as it tried to push him back. It was breathtaking. Intense and wild. He found Draco within the bright light looking like some sort of angelic demon.

Harry opened his arms to Draco’s power. He pulled the magic to him, stole it from the air and away from the walls where Severus was crumpled and bleeding. Pain lanced through Harry’s shoulder blade, and then the other. It was a screaming, soul wrenching fire, like maybe he once had extra arms and they’d been torn from his flesh and bone. Harry kept pulling and absorbing the power even as the pain increased to near crippling.

He pulled until Draco finally stopped his steps. Draco wavered where he was stood. He was staring at the floor laughing hysterically while tears streamed down his face.

Harry’s arms didn’t want to move as pain continued to flare through his back. He kept them stretched wide as he stumbled to Draco. He pulled every bit of power Draco dared to release against him until he didn’t dare any longer.

“Draco.”

Draco stiffened and his laughter faded. Harry didn’t step any closer. Narcissa had the ring and he didn’t want to transform Draco by accident. “Draco, go put the ring back on.”

Draco grimaced. “You can’t fucking make me, Potter.”

Harry growled and pulsed his power out. It filled the hallway and pushed at Draco like crashing waves, again and again until Draco shook with the exertion to stand. “Put on the fucking ring!”

“No!” Draco held his hands out, raised his head and laughed one loud exultation. “All of them. Every fucking Malfoy heir became a monster. I will too. So why the fuck not now?”

“You’re not a monster. Damn it, Draco, you’re not!”

Draco scoffed, his eyes flashing. “I am! I feel it inside. They’re calling me. And… and I want to go. I can’t stop it. I fucking want to go!”

Harry shook his head fiercely as he fought his instinct to grab Draco and hold him until he was himself again. “It doesn’t matter. It’s just a call, not who you are! Stay with me, Draco. Want me more. I know you do. You know you do. They don’t matter as long as you have me. You’ll always have me, Draco.”

It was too much. Draco fell to his knees with his head clutched in his hands. “You lie. Even now covered in blood. You’re covered in blood and dead.”

He wanted so badly to reach out to Draco, to hold him and rock him until his tears dried. Even if Draco was wearing the ring, Harry’s arms refused to move. “I’m here. I’m still here and you’re here. It’s going to be okay. For right now. This moment, right now, we’re both here. We’re together. And you… you’re so fucking beautiful. It hurts to look at you, you’re so beautiful.” It wasn’t a lie; Harry’s eyes watered the longer he stared at Draco’s hunched form.

“Draco, you just keep crying and I’ll be right here. No one is going to hurt you because I’m not going anywhere,” Harry promised softly.

***

Not once had anyone ever told Draco crying was okay. He let out a loud gasp as another laugh fought with his tears. It was funny. He suddenly had so much power brimming inside yet he’d never felt this powerless in his entire life.

God, he was so fucked. They were outside waiting for him. Angry. They were vicious and angry as they demanded Draco come to them. Why did they hate him so yet insist he answer? Draco curled in on himself and tried to block the sharp feeling of teeth, claws and hot breath. They were as fucked up as he was as they called for the things in life which repulsed and sickened.

“Harry?” he whispered hoarsely.

“I’m right here.”

Draco nodded and rested his head on the cold floor. Dust and tears filled his senses. Harry sounded far away, a soft echo in his ears. It was real, though. Harry was real, at least for now. “Call me. Please,” he begged. “I can’t move from the door.”

“I, uh, I don’t know if I can right now.”

Draco groaned as he turned his head but he couldn’t see Harry. He sensed him fine enough. Harry felt strong and his power pushed down, an invisible barrier pinning him in place. Draco raised his gaze. Narcissa stalked down the other end of the hall, her eyes nearly as wild as her crazy sister’s. Dumbledore followed swiftly behind her. Draco watched his mother and struggled not to laugh at her fearful expression. He failed and his body shook with each expulsion.

Narcissa didn’t say anything as she crouched beside Draco, grabbed his hand, and placed the ring on his finger. Draco closed his eyes as the world lurched around him and his stomach twisted in nausea. Narcissa again placed her hands on him. She rubbed his back in slow circles until sobs tore from Draco at the knowledge of how foreign it was to have her touch him.

Dumbledore saw to Severus and spelled the splintered furniture and thrown rugs into some sort of semblance while Draco fell apart. Everyone else seemed capable of pulling things back together while Draco was at the point where it all just unraveled. He didn’t know if he was ever going to get back to the other side when the world was so upside down. His mother was trying to comfort him. It only made him hurt as he remembered every time she denied a simple connection.

Dark blue robes swirled in his vision. Dumbledore crouched beside him and his aged hand touched Draco’s head carefully like maybe he was wounded. Draco flinched and realized with a start he was injured.

“What stopped you? What stopped the call?” Dumbledore gingerly probed at his wound before taking out his wand and casting a spell to stop the bleeding.

Draco hesitated. They didn’t need to know the call was still there, he just wasn’t listening to it. “Harry fixed it.”

Narcissa jolted as if struck. Her head reared up as she looked around the hallway. “Potter? That damnable boy is here?”

Dumbledore got to his feet. “Mrs. Malfoy, Harry is hardly…”

“Yes, mother. Harry is here,” Draco spat out. He glared at his mother as he sat up. “My boyfriend is here and he’s able to keep me from the Vesper with simple willpower.”

Narcissa pulled away. She sat on the floor and stared at Draco like he was something she’d never seen before. She swallowed and reached out to touch his shoulder. “We’ll take you home. Your father installed wards against the Vesper in the manor. You’ll be…”

“No!” Draco found his anger again. It frothed up the same way the laughter did. “I can’t be with him if I’m home. He’s all I fucking care about!”

“Draco, please, it’s nonsense.”

Draco braced his hands on the floor. “I love him.”

Narcissa hissed and her eyes narrowed on his rebellious expression. “Love,” she spat. “You’d choose your father’s oldest enemy over your family?”

Draco smiled viciously. “Every fucking chance I get, mother. On my knees, on my back; any fucking way he wants. I’m his and he’s mine.”

“Don’t be vulgar with me. He’s an abomination to pureblood kind with his soiled bloodline and welcoming in those worthless, mudblooded beasts into our circles. His kind would water us down until no one has a speck of power left. He would…”

“Shit. Shut the fuck up, you crazy bitch! My pureblood ancestor fucked dragons to gain your so called ‘pure’ power. My uncle is likely on his knees spreading to an entire pack as we speak, if they didn’t kill him years ago. You. You bore a fucking half human, half Vesper into this world and you’d condemn muggles for being soiled? Do you even hear yourself, mother?”

Narcissa didn’t; her pale skin turned pink with anger. She stood with her hands fisted at her sides. “We’ll speak of this no more. I’ll leave the paperwork with your headmaster. You’ll sign it and be ready for the ceremony a week from today at eight o’clock sharp.”

Draco stared at his mother in disbelief, mouth gaped open. He pushed himself to his feet and swayed. The ring made his dizzy and his anger more so. He took a steadying breath. “Fuck you.”

“It would be the only thing you haven’t fucked, I would think,” Narcissa said with a disdainful sniff.

Laughter hit Draco hard and he doubled over. When he caught his breath he looked up at Narcissa through his hair. “Fuck you and the Malfoy name and your fucking blood hate. I’m not marrying her.”

“Oh, you are. If you want any sort of life, you’ll marry Serene and stop talking nonsense of Potter and mudbloods. As if they’re anything compared to us.”

Draco wasn’t sure if he was angry or just so exasperated with his mother and how blind she was to the world. “I don’t know if you’ve fucking noticed, but I don’t want any sort of life! I’ve been a goddamn zombie for the last year. I was just about to walk out the fucking door and live with creatures almost as fucking hateful as you—Almost! Fuck you and your fucking manipulative money and power.”

Narcissa’s hand twitched toward he wand as rage filled her eyes. “Do you think I can’t make you? Do you think power is just some silly idea and not the ultimate in controlling every element in this world including insubordinate, foolish children? We’ve endured for centuries and believe me, we will continue because we have the power to control the weak willed.”

Dumbledore abruptly placed a hand to Narcissa’s shoulder. Her eyes went wide and her body crumpled forward as if a great force were pushing her down. “You will not. Not in my school. Not to my student. It’s time to go, Mrs. Malfoy.”

Draco wasn’t done and he peered down to meet Narcissa’s surprised gaze. “I’m not weak willed, mother. I’m not weak at all. Cross me and I’ll show you just how powerful I am.”

Narcissa didn’t say anything. Her glare promised she’d have her way still. Dumbledore forced her back to his office to collect Draco’s ex-fiancé with Severus’s unconscious body floating behind them. Draco continued to sway as the corridor emptied. He closed his eyes with a sigh.

“Potter, are you still there?”

“Of course I am. I wasn’t sure if she’d be able to hear me.” Harry stepped closer to Draco but still didn’t touch him.

“Just me. Kust my ears today.” Draco sighed and moved toward Harry’s heat. He slid his hands around his waist. “Help me, Harry. I can’t push away from the door.”

Harry was silent for a long moment. Slowly, almost jaggedly, his arms fell to Draco’s shoulders and rested there heavily. “You were amazing. Absolutely breathtaking.”

“I was angry and out of my mind,” Draco muttered and pressed his face to Harry’s shoulder. “I’m still out of my fucking mind. What is it? Why are you hesitating?” Harry still wouldn’t pull him close. He wouldn’t hold him tight and pull his body away from the door like only he could.

“It’s nothing.” Harry slowly rubbed his arms down Draco’s back. When he pulled him closer, his hands shook in a way Draco never felt before and it filled him with fear. “You’re just amazing and I want to stand here with you for a while.”

Draco could tell Harry was lying but he didn’t know why he was lying. Draco swallowed hard and closed his eyes. With Harry wrapped around him, he pushed his foot forward and Harry took a step back in response. There was a howl from outside, an angry demanding call for him to stop what he was doing.

“Draco, I can do it,” Harry insisted even as his body shook.

“It’s okay. I’m going to have to figure it out on my own anyways, right?” Draco pushed his other foot forward. Harry steadied him when he swayed, his balance addled by the ring. Harry fell silent and let Draco slowly push the two of them backward down the hall. Neither spoke of the angry howls from outside.

“Where are the glasses?” Draco asked when he made it to the opening outside the Great Hall. When Harry remained stubbornly silent, Draco cast an accio. The lenses snapped in his hands after they flew down from the hallway above.

“Don’t do it, Malfoy. It’s not fucking worth it,” Harry rasped as he tried to grab the glasses from Draco’s hand.

“Shut the fuck up and let me decide what’s worth my attention.” Draco turned his head and pushed the round lenses on his nose. He stepped back so he could see all of Harry.

Tears stung the corners of his eyes but Draco refused to look away. He slowly walked around Harry and bit his lip as the devastation of blood and torn flesh came into view on his back. Draco slipped his hand forward and touched the damage lightly. Harry was oblivious to the sensation with so much pain already raw there.

“Is this because we fought? It got so bad…”

“No. You have nothing to do with this.” Harry turned as quickly as he could and grimacing from the pain. “Jaz said the damage is just catching up, uh, exponentially. That’s all.” Harry raised arms which didn’t want to raise and caressed Draco’s face softly.

Draco stared into his blazing green eyes and took in how Harry’s dark skin was littered with cuts and spatters of blood. He was lying again but Draco was unwilling to reveal he knew. If it allowed Harry to feel better by lying to him, he wouldn’t break the delusion.

Draco stood on tiptoes and kissed Harry’s frowning mouth.

“Can you walk or would you like to rest on me?” Draco’s palms smoothed over the blood soaked lines of Harry’s shoulders.

“I can walk fine,”Harry muttered. “The pain is minimal, just distracting. My arms are just resistant to normal motion.” He scowled down at his hands where his fingers twitched oddly.

“Harry?” Draco leaned closer and tried to pull his gaze. He missed seeing Harry’s eyes even if today they were surrounded by too much red.

“What do you need, Draco?” Harry asked, his eyes fixed on Draco’s face.

“I like your voice. I like hearing it again. It’s good to hear you again.” Draco watched as Harry slowly smiled at him.

“Yeah, well, it’s good to be heard, even though I’m sure I’ll say something to get myself in trouble.” He brushed his lips to Draco’s and his jaw tightened in pain from the simple movement. “Come on, let’s get you to Pomfrey. You can check on Snape and, well, it would be good if you had other people around to help.”

Draco licked his lips and nodded. He wasn’t going to argue with Harry about it. Not while he, well, looked nearly dead. Draco slipped the glasses off and folded them into his shirt pocket. With his arms around Harry’s back, they walked slowly to the hospital wing.

“Bed. Now,” Dr. Rob ordered the moment Fox stepped into his office.

Fox rolled his eyes, only to grab for the door frame when the room swayed. “Come on, Doc. I just want to see him.”

“You’re burning up. Have you slept at all?” Dr. Rob stood from his chair and stepped around his desk. His hand was wonderfully cool when he pressed it to Fox’s forehead. “You need to sleep.”

Fox huffed in frustration. “What I need is to talk to him. He’s awake, right?”

Dr. Rob’s mouth twisted down as he saw the way Fox’s bandages were seeping fluid and had stained his thin hospital robe. “Hold still.” He carefully peeled away the discolored bandages from Fox’s torso and his expression grew grim. “You shouldn’t be standing. Sit, sit.” He helped Fox to his desk and pushed a few things aside so he could sit in a position where Dr. Rob could see the slashes clearly. Fox, I’m sorry. These are definitely going to scar.”

Fox waved it off. He didn’t care if he turned fucking purple at the moment. “Whatever. Doc, can I just…?”

“Quiet.” Dr. Rob pressed fingers to his side where the flesh around the wounds was puffed and red. Fox hissed and grit his teeth to keep from crying out. “The salve got most of the poison, but not all of it. Your system is metabolizing the toxins too slowly. Fox, your shifter genes will keep you alive, but they can’t heal you when you’re moving around.” Rob gave him a sharp look. “You need to acknowledge the limitations of your body and rest.”

Fox groaned in annoyance. “I will, I promise. Please, can I see Vince now?”

“Fox…” Dr. Rob stared him down, only to suddenly peer closer with a concerned expression. Fox’s unique, orange eyes were glassy. “You’re delirious. You need to rest.”

“Damn it,” Fox whispered furiously and grabbed the desk to steady himself. “I just need to talk to him.”

“It can wait.” Rob bent down to examine the red edges of Fox’s torn skin. “We’re going to let this breathe for now.”

“It can’t wait!” Maybe his fever was bad because when Fox stood, the room spun drunkenly. He ignored it, too fixated on getting to Vincent to care. “Doc, I gotta tell him now. If Vince leaves, all he’s going to hear is a bunch of assholes blaming him or calling him a killer or some shit. He didn’t do anything wrong. I gotta tell him.”

Dr. Rob held him by the shoulders before Fox could collapse. “Fox, Vincent is in no state to leave just yet. There’s no need to get so worked up.”

Fox stared back with wide eyes pleading for him to understand. “He needs to know what he did was okay. He’s not bad. He’s not.”

Dr. Rob sighed and his shoulders slumped. “You’re going to drink some water.”

Fox blinked in confusion. “Uh, okay. Fine.”

“And take a fever reducer. You’re not leaving this office until we get your fever at safe levels.”

Fox inhaled sharply when he realized Dr. Rob had folded. “Will it put me to sleep?”

“No.” Dr. Rob’s eyes narrowed behind his glasses as he straightened. “The second you’re done speaking to Vincent, I’m spelling you to sleep and binding you to your bed. You desperately need sleep.”

Fox snorted in laughter and nearly spilled the potion when the healer handed to him. “Kinky, Doc. What would your girlfriend say?” They had all on more than one occasion scented perfume on Dr. Rob’s clothes. Fox glared at the mud colored potion a moment before he chugged it down as quick as he could. He grimaced from the bitter taste and nearly fell again. “Gross.”

Rob didn’t look amused by the joke or the fact his patient was determined to remain on his feet. “If I didn’t assume you were going to pass out on your own, I would have spelled you to sleep already. Take my arm. I don’t need you cracking your head open on the floor on top of everything else.”

“Aw, you know you love me.” Fox grinned winningly up at the healer. Dr. Rob tried his best not to smirk but didn’t quite manage it.

Harry found Jaz at the window where he left him. He was sitting on the ground with head in his hands and notebook discarded on the floor. Jaz looked up at his approach and his blue eyes narrowed behind the magical glasses to focus on Harry and the pen and notebook he carried.

“You need to know something, Mr. Potter.” Jaz stopped and looked up and around to make sure they were alone in the hallway. Harry nodded but kept walking so he could look out the window to see the dragons. He frowned when he found them lying on the ground instead of sitting. They were in small groups outside the border of the forest, moved but at least not closer to the castle. He counted them to make sure none slipped his notice of the twenty-three who were there, then he turned to Jaz.

When the specialist didn’t bother to stand, Harry sat next to him so he could read his writing with ease. What do I need to know?

Jaz took a while to answer, his expression hesitant but determined. “You’re changing him. Just now, in the classroom. Draco’s beast form has changed again.”

Harry frowned as he remembered everything on the fifth plane was just colorful swirls of magic from magic which did nothing to hide the solid forms of Draco, the vesper and Harry. The glasses would have made it easy for Jaz to see them whether he intended to see or not. There was no way he’d mention it to Draco; the prat would never let him touch him again.

Harry shifted his vision to the other plane and looked toward where he could feel Draco calling even now. The call was greater than before. Not as bad as when Draco saw the Vesper but still noticeably stronger. “Oh, for fuck sake! How the hell are those going to help anything?” he asked no one in particular. He couldn’t help but scowl as he saw Draco’s new wings, small and fluffy and absolutely going to get him in trouble.

What’s happening to him? Do the shifters have wings? Do any of them have wings?

“The Kalistar have wings but much larger and of course, the antlers,” Jaz said with a shake to his head. He refused to look in Draco’s direction. “His tail and hair feathers have also grown again. To put it bluntly, every orgasm he has with you is changing his magic. I can’t say if it’s the same without you—I have not been so compelled to look—but I saw the change now. Bloody serves me right too. The damn light nearly burned my retinas,” Jaz muttered, not looking pleased.

Harry tapped his pen to the notebook idly. So, what? Is this a problem? A good thing? Running for the hills thing? What the hell does it mean?

“I have no idea. I’ve never known any beast to respond to sex in such a way. He’s growing stronger, more powerful magically and his aura is calling louder. For all we know this is common with the Vesper or it could be an anomaly. I just thought it needed to be brought to your attention, seeing as you’re half of the cause.”

Harry sighed long and low and echoed Jaz’s slumped position of earlier. It was something else to worry about. Now something to worry about every time he wanted to have sex. Fuck.

It got Harry wondering about the other thing he worried about every time he was alone with Draco.

Jaz, I need your help with something. I need a spell to make sure no one can remove the ring off of Draco. Not me and not those creatures outside.

“Is that a concern?” Jaz glanced behind him through the castle wall at the dragons lying on the ground outside.

A huge concern. I fight my beast every time to keep from taking it from him. And those things out there…

Harry paused and looked through the wall as well as the creatures started to slowly move and sit up unsteadily. What happened to them? Were they fighting?

Jaz raised a brow, then rubbed the bridge of his nose as if to ward off a headache. “They were rutting, Potter. The two of you raised so much sex energy the creatures damn near blacked out. Some of them literally did when Malfoy started glowing. Thankfully, it seems to be contained to just your realm because I dread to think of the effects of such energy on a castle full of hormonal teenagers. The things out there were brutal enough.”

“Fuck, they do want him. Fuck!” Harry stood with a scowl and paced agitatedly in the wide hall. Just as quickly he crouched again to write furiously.

I need him protected! Barriers, wards, armies! I don’t care what but he needs to be safe if I’m dead!

“The Vesper taught me how to traverse the dimensional planes. I don’t know if I have knowledge they can’t overcome.” Jaz’s voice was even but his face revealed how concerned he was, his dark lips set in a deep frown.

How long do I have if I don’t go through with the spell? How many weeks would I have to protect him?

“It would not be weeks, you fool. Have you not even looked at yourself?” Jaz snapped. “You’ll be lucky if you last the week.”

Harry looked down at himself for the first time in a long time while looking through the fifth plane. He was bleeding. A lot. Every large splotch of black was now covered in red. It looked wet but didn’t move under his hand. “Shit.”

“That is the end result of sex with him on your body, Potter. You change when he changes. It’s not pretty.” Jaz gave a heavy sigh as he ran fingers through his white waves of hair. “He’s speeding your progression and pulling you toward reality but still without a way to ground you into it. Voldemort’s damage is catching up and fast. If you want to hold on, I would recommend not touching him again.”

Harry growled. He knew it was damn near impossible. Not just because it was Draco and he was sexy and gorgeous and all he wanted to do was make up for every moment they hadn’t touched. If those fucking things outside called for Draco too loud, he needed to make sure he was louder. There was no way to make such a demand and not follow through. Not anymore.

A spell for the ring. Please, Sir. And some sort of barrier, just to try. He’s going to need help and he won’t ask for it. Please.

“You don’t need to ask. We all owe you enough.”

Harry blinked and nodded after a moment. Right, Voldemort. That thing he survived—Or hadn’t. Where he changed the world around him, while his went so still. Draco’s too. When he disappeared, Draco’s world seemed to stop just as much.

This is all I ask of everyone, Jaz. For what I have done and sacrificed, I want only one thing in return. Protect Draco.

Jaz stared at the paper a long moment. He stood and stretched out his cramped legs. “You’ll have it, Harry. I give you my word.”

***

Harry spent Wednesday morning with Ron and Hermione during their study period. Jaz lent the magical glasses to Draco, who refused to wear them outside the bedroom for fear of seeing the Vesper. Draco then proceeded not to wear them while in the bedroom either. Harry suspected his appearance was just a bit too bloodied, even if he didn’t feel much pain still. Ron seemed to think so and refused to wear the glasses after a quick look at him. Hermione wore them perched on her nose, fearless as always even in the face of this.

With pen in hand, notebook underneath and Hermione’s steady gaze on him, Harry almost felt like a person.

“Yes, well Blaise is excitable,” Hermione said slowly as her fingers fiddled with the notebook pages. “But honestly Harry, after hearing everything, I can’t blame him. You were a bit mad last year, if you can remember. And the situation is, well, odd. You have to admit that, at least.”

Harry didn’t and was not really interested in doing so, even for his best friends. I was not mad last year.

Ron snorted and placed both hands on the table as if he were going to get up and leave. He stayed, his gaze fixed on the swirl of light over Harry’s form. It showed where he was but not the extent of his wounds, which seemed easier on Ron. They were in the Gryffindor common room with no other students there to bother them while they talked. They pulled soft chairs around the coffee table and Harry direct enough magic into his to make it solid to his weight. He couldn’t smell the air and sound was muffled, but it was still familiar, comforting territory.

“Har, you would do a one-eighty every time he walked in a room. A month before school was out, you were like a damn yo-yo. You’d be fine, yourself and then wham! Draco Malfoy. You couldn’t look at anything else. You couldn’t talk about anything else. Pretty sure you weren’t thinking of anything else either. You once took a header down the moving staircase when he walked by. And I swear, I think it was on purpose because you wanted the git to see if you were okay.” Ron was shaking his head in a mix between disbelief and disgust.

Harry scratched the tip of his nose and tried to think back. Once he found himself in the echo of life, real life sort of fuzzed away out of his mind. He knew things, innately, like he always took for granted when being solid and among the rest of the world. But he hadn’t really thought of living, not for months now. It was difficult, sad even, to think back to how things used to be.

He did take a header down the moving staircase, but it wasn’t on purpose. He was blindsided when he glanced up from his perusal of the floor to find Malfoy at the bottom of the stairs, his silver eyes trained on him before he quickly glanced away. Harry happened to land right at the prat’s feet in an embarrassing, if not serendipitous, coincidence. Now he looked back, he could see the signs he hadn’t known to look for then. The way Draco’s nostrils flared when he helped haul him up to his feet or the flush on his cheeks Harry brusquely told himself was just exertion on his part. Not to mention the ever skittering gaze where Draco seemed determined to look anywhere but directly at him.

Malfoy called him a klutz and said he should watch his back because tripping over the Dark Lord wasn’t going to save his life. When their gazes locked, silver bored into him, warning, pleading. Harry never found out what he Draco was pleading for. During those moments all he ever wanted to do was kiss him. Such need would rise up in him when he stared in those expectant eyes. Draco was beautiful; brilliant, determined to die to be free, and beyond gorgeous.

“It wasn’t just Malfoy, Harry. You were different during that last month. You were aggressive. I thought maybe it was some weird latent puberty thing, like you just got hit with a ton of testosterone,” Hermione broke in. “You were kind of a prick.”

Ron nodded. “You were a total prick. Moody, explosive… Not the way the Slytherins were, but yeah. When someone crossed you, you stomped them in their place. And if it was Malfoy? Well, you were just fucking weird every time it had to do with Malfoy. You were always staring. I think I caught you smelling his hair once.” Ron made a face. “Things got more concerning when we thought back to last year. You two were alone all of a sudden, and you could actually touch him. I mean, he’s kind of delicate.” Ron trailed off and frowned at his perception of Draco. “Not delicate. Shit, yes, kind of delicate.”

“He’s sensitive,” Hermione supplied. “I really thought he was going to have a break down this year. I never noticed; I always just wanted to hex the prat for the crap he used to do. But after you told us what you heard…”

“And started acting like a royal, lovestruck idiot,” Ron added with a sizable smirk Hermione mirrored.

“Yes, that. Well, we couldn’t help but notice him. Malfoy’s an interesting bloke. And we like Blaise and Pansy; although Blaise is trying at times. But he means well and that’s the important part. Anyways, our point is, we didn’t want to see Draco hurt. Even by you. Especially by you because, well, let’s face it Harry, you could do the most damage. Not because of your power or invisibility or anything, but because he obviously cares about you.”

Harry nodded distractedly while he drummed his fingers on the notebook. He didn’t know how to tell his friends Draco was his. Even last year, even the summer he thought Draco was dead and wondered if he was going to end up similar. The moment Draco admitted to not wanting to be a Death Eater was the moment he became his. Part of why Harry couldn’t explain it was because he didn’t fully understand it himself. He grew stronger after that moment, taller, meaner when he needed to be. He changed because Draco was going to be his and he needed to be strong enough to protect him.

Have you learned anything useful about the Kalistar and Vesper? Something about how they interact with each other, maybe? I think whatever Draco is makes me the way I am.

“I did some preliminary stuff. There really isn’t a lot out there. I guess they’re private creatures and anyone who goes near their village ends up dead.” Hermione shot him a concerned look. “Harry, if you survive this, you’re going to be one of them. Full instinct, full animal. You might not be yourself. You might not even remember yourself. Beast awakenings can be intense and you’re clearly head over heals for Malfoy on human and beast level. We’re worried.”

You think I’m going to hurt him. I would never.

“We’re worried,” Ron sternly repeated Hermione’s words. “No one knows what you’re going to do. Neither do you, so don’t fucking pretend with us. I know you’re freaking out thinking these vesper are going to drag him away, but hell, Har, it might just be you dragging him off into the forest at the end of all this.”

Harry scowled. He was more angry there was truth to what they were saying than anything else. He can stop me if he wants. He knows how to make me behave.

“Yes, well, as interesting a visual image as that is, I don’t think it’s necessarily foolproof,” Hermione said with a faint blush. “Maybe you decide you don’t want him to control you? You could knock him out, spell him asleep, tie him up; you’re a powerful wizard, Harry. Even more so since you defeated Voldemort.”

As he stared at his oldest, sweetest friend, Harry had to wonder when Hermione started thinking of him capable of tying Draco up and having his way with him. Although, hardly a terrible thought. especially with the way Draco fucking moaned about everything…

“He’s doing it again, isn’t he?” Ron muttered to Hermione as he saw Harry’s magic shift. Hermione nodded and a half frown quirked her lips. “See, Har? You’re fucking sitting there thinking about him again. You’re spacing out and he’s not even in the room. What the hell is it going to be like once the beast is in control and not just whispering in your ear?”

Shit, will you stop worrying over everything? Whatever is going to happen is going to happen and there isn’t a damn thing worrying is going to do except piss me off. Him too, for that matter. He hates no one listens to him and thinks they all know best. I need you to stop butting in on the unimportant stuff and just make sure he’s protected!

Harry finished with a large exclamation point and narrowed his gaze on Hermione. She glared back an cracked her knuckles in a way which suggested she was moments from one of her nagging rants.

We’ll worry about it if I live, okay? The bigger thing is to make sure we have a defense against the vesper.

Hermione relented and her glare lightened. Ron tussled his hair; he was irritated but wasn’t about to yell about it. “You need to stop throwing it in our face, Har. Having to bite our tongues because you may be dead is just shit.”

“Fuck.” Harry sighed and turned to a fresh page. Sorry. I’m worried too and this is the only way I know to deal with it. There are so many things I have no say in. I won’t compromise on Draco’s safety, even though I have little power to do anything about it.

Ron rolled his eyes and Hermione snorted softly. “Seriously, that’s bullshit,” Ron exclaimed. “You have the most powerful witch in Hogwarts on the case, and well. Hey, no one says no to me when I get my family to help. We’ll get it sorted out and you damn well know it.”

I do. That’s why I came to you.

“I want to start researching now before your spell. I want as much time as possible before you’re either out of commission to heal or because you’re dead,” Hermione said bluntly. She stood and reached for her book-bag. “You should be by Malfoy’s side, and make sure none of those dragons are stalking him. Make sure to say goodbye before the spell, Harry. Don’t forget.” She was nearly out the door before Harry stopped her and gently removed the glasses from her face.

Hermione smiled ruefully and carefully touched Harry’s magic-soaked cheek. “Thanks, Harry, for giving us something to do. It’s been a difficult year; summer was horrible. I feel like I can at least do this for you. I hope.” She frowned as her hand slipped and passed through his head. “Sorry.”

Harry smiled sadly. Ron came up behind Hermione with his things and the two walked out the portrait door to get to the library. They were trying really hard not to get their hopes up, Harry could see it. Bad enough they thought he died the first time; putting them through it all again felt cruel. It was the biggest reason he avoided talking to them. Guilt was a damn heavy burden and he imagined if he allowed himself to indulge he’d never be able to lift himself up again.

Still, Draco needed his help for as long as he was here. Harry might be the type to battle dark wizards alone, but he didn’t hesitate to get as much help as he could when it came to solving problems. He collected his notebook and pen, and let the glow fade from his skin so he was once again invisible. He’d peek out at the dragons and make sure they hadn’t moved, and then find Draco to see how he was dealing.

***

Draco still wasn’t certain how it had happened. His Wednesday morning ended with him locked in Dumbledore’s office with his mother and Serene Vellamorn, his fiancé to be. He was called from class to the headmaster’s office for vague reasons he assumed had to do with Harry’s spell coming up. Instead he found his mother and fiancé there with twin delicate smiles on their pale, pinched faces. It smelled of an ambush and he was immediately alert for foul play.

There was something wrong with Draco, something he was only starting to comprehend. The last couple days he kept laughing quite crazily. Odd, random bursts of joy and noise would jolt through him. He could have been sparking like the way Harry did, but instead of energy flashing, it was feeling which rushed up to the surface. Narcissa looked perfectly elegant in her lace, and Serene was a damn near double except she was younger and shorter, a waif of large blue eyes and long blond hair. As Draco stared at him he couldn’t help but laugh at their expectant faces.

“Draco, are you well?” Narcissa stepped forward but didn’t reach out to touch him. Draco noticed it. He couldn’t remember his mother holding him even once and it only made him laugh harder.

Serene took a different approach. She smiled bemusedly and gently touched Draco’s arm. “He’s excited. It must be such a surprise to find us both here. I’m glad I insisted on coming to finalize the arrangements. Draco, you’re near glowing.”

Draco’s eyes widened at the implication and his laughter faded as suddenly as it started. Narcissa glared at him and her gaze ran down Draco’s arm to see his father’s ring was still indeed in place. The anger in his mother’s expression did something to Draco. It was like looking into a challenging predator. Today he was feeling very much a predator.

“Yes, Serene, I glow now. I also laugh. I hope you aren’t too disappointed.”

Serene’s laugh was like a crystal bell as it lilted through the air. “Oh, Draco, you jest. How could I ever be disappointed in a husband such as you?”

Draco hadn’t seen Serene in three years but she was being ridiculously familiar with him like they grew up in the same house. Well, a house not Malfoy Manor, anyways. More like a Weasley house where family members talked to each other instead of plotted against. It was extremely confusing and Draco tore his challenging gaze from his mother to assess the young woman who would be his fiancé.

“You’re drunk.” Draco stepped away from her clinging hands.

Serene blinked lovely blue eyes at him, and her small mouth pursed slightly. “Draco, you’re teasing me.”

Draco shook his head although he smelled no alcohol. “Inebriated, then. Something is off.” He glared and rounded on Narcissa. “Are you out of your mind? Whose benefit is this for? Hers, to keep her from upsetting me, or mine? You spelled her without her knowledge. It’s beyond inappropriate.”

Narcissa stiffened and clasped her hands tightly together. “What choice did you give me? If she were to truly see you now…”

“What? Am I wearing a huge fucking rainbow or something? What the hell would make you think she would know a damn thing?” Draco stopped and a terrible laugh tore free when he remembered how he woke up.

It was to Harry’s hands on his body. His hot, invisible mouth slowly sucked Draco’s waking erection, teasing, tasting, and swallowing his seed down until the world faded away to nothing. Before Draco was able to ask for more and feel Harry inside him—all he ever seemed to want now was to be full and tight with his cock buried inside him—Harry streamed his hot cum all over his thighs and stomach. It was so surprising, so arousing, Draco thought he was going to come again. What was hotter when Harry rubbed the fluid into him, coating as much of his flesh as he could. He left Draco covered in his drying seed all day to hopefully keep the vesper at bay.

It wasn’t a rainbow but he was definitely covered in a ton of gay.

“This isn’t about your proclivities, my son,” Narcissa said tersely as her eyes moved to Serene and then back to him. “Serene, dear, please give me a moment to speak with Draco. He’s clearly distraught over Lucius’s condition.”

“Oh, leave her. She won’t be the first pureblood to marry a gay man,” Draco sneered. “I’m sure her closet is full of something just as shocking, otherwise she wouldn’t have agreed to begin with.”

Serene, who looked dazed and more than a little baffled, took a seat when Narcissa offered it. “I can assure you, Serene’s heritage is impeccable. The only thing she faces is some black magic tarnishing.”

Draco rolled his eyes. “As long as it’s not beast tarnished, right mother?”

“Hold your tongue!” Narcissa’s masks were down and Draco was surprised to find fear in her eyes. Yes, her voice was full of anger, but his mother was terrified. “Tell me, and don’t mince words. Have you lain with one of them? Is that why you’re glowing? Have you taken the ring off and soiled yourself in such a way?”

Draco was taken aback. He snapped his mouth shut with an audible click. Something dark and hot twisted in his stomach and he remembered briefly the feeling right after he saw the white dragons for the first time. “Why would you…? You mean the vesper, right?”

Narcissa looked torn and her small hands pulled at the front of her immaculate dress. She abruptly slipped out her wand and spelled Serene asleep in her chair. Her eyes were wild when she turned to Draco and tucked her wand away. “Please, I must know. We’ll find a way around it, but if they’ve claimed you…”

Draco actually felt sorry for her. Narcissa’s fear was so strong, it could have flavored the air around them. “Mother, I can assure you I haven’t lain, as you so put it, with any dragons.”

Narcissa touched her forehead and breathed a sigh of relief. “Your father warned me about this school. He told me a pack lives in the forest. But they’ve never gone near the castle and you showed no signs of the blood. You mustn’t go near the forest, Draco. As you are, they will surely steal you away.”

It was that feeling again. It clawed up his throat, breathed heat and made his skin prickle goosebumps. “Why, mother? What the hell do they want with me?”

Narcissa closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She was paler than normal with sweat glistening at her hairline. “I’m not certain. Conner never returned to tell us.”

“Conner?” Draco frowned; his mother wasn’t one for being so familiar.

Narcissa couldn’t meet his eye. “Your uncle, Lucius’s brother. There was only ever one ring.”

Draco hissed and stared down at his hand where the ring glittered. “Father had a brother with the beast blood?” No one told him. It must have been damning to erase his own sibling. Lucius was cold hearted but his own brother? It had to have been terrible.

“He was younger than your father. The Malfoys only ever have one male child a generation since the females are free of the curse. Your grandfather ignored tradition. He was free of the cursed blood and…” Narcissa stopped and her eyes strayed again to Serene to ensure she was still asleep. “He sired two sons who inherited the curse. Lucius wore the ring and stayed the same. Conner changed. He looked… he looked like you now, Draco, before he left with them.”

Draco’s skin crawled but it was not as unpleasant as he wished. Lust in equal proportion to fear shivered through his flesh and whispered in his ear. He spent his entire life thinking there was no place for him to be but in his home with his parents, doing as he was told. Today he woke to his father in prison as a monster, an uncle whol lived with a pack of wild animals and a boyfriend who touched and covering him with cum just like one. It was thrilling and awful; the entire world opened up to him but such a dark path yawned for him to follow.

“What happened to him? Did he…? Was he willing?” He asked softly, afraid of any answer. Narcissa took a long time to answer and Draco saw she didn’t want to, her lips tight in fear. “Mother, please. How can I protect myself if I don’t know everything?”

“I don’t think you want protection,” Narcissa whispered. “I think… I fear they’ve snared you even now.”

Again fire rushed up his spine and Draco’s skin flushed. “Mother, you must help me.”

“Yes. Your father can’t, so I must.” Narcissa nodded and closed her eyes as if she could not bear to see Draco and speak at the same time. “Conner was fifteen when he visited friends by the Red Forest for summer. Lucius and I were married already, two years. Conner was an excellent marksman for his age and I was told they spent weeks out there among the trees.”

Draco clutched his arms to keep them from shaking. “That’s where…”

“Yes, the Vesper had a pack. Conner spoke of hearing something while in the woods. It frightened him beyond anything he ever feared before. He seemed so normal before then, even ordinary, unlike Lucius with his white hair and skin. No one suspected he was tainted.” Narcissa suddenly stepped toward him, her hands outstretched and eyes beseeching. It was so unlike his mother Draco flinched away.

“Draco, no one knew. You have to understand.” She let her hands fall to her side, then quickly clenched them together. “He was so normal. Such a sweet boy and not a mean bone in him. The pack found him in the night while he camped. Conner could feel them, their presence, and he heard their howls. While he slept, the pack killed his three companions. They never woke to even know there was danger. Conner awoke to the sounds growls. He said it was like a spell descended upon him. A fire overcame him and he couldn’t control his body.”

“Shit… shit!” Draco wrapped his arms around his chest and tried to fight the way his body was reacting to the words. Narcissa paused to stare at him, worry deep in her eyes. Had his mother ever looked to care for him before? Even when faced with Voldemort, even after he tried to take his own life? Was this so terrible his mother could finally see he was a human worthy of affection?

“Somehow Conner managed to escape in the morning when the fire was quenched and the beasts slept. He said something dark was there; a creature with antlers helped lead him from the enchanted forest and back to familiar territory. He apparated to Lucius once he got his bearings. He wanted the ring.” She took a step forward, her eyes wide. “When Lucius saw how Conner was changed, he readily gave him the ring. He was wild, Draco. His eyes were full of fire and his skin glowed like an otherworldly creature.” She reached up as if to touch his face but held back before connecting. “He kept laughing.”

Draco’s mind raced. Too many thoughts slipped in and then out for him to keep track. “But father gave him the ring!”

“Yes.” Narcissa didn’t say anything else. Her expression closed off and she stepped away to stare blankly at the wall.

“Mother, he gave him the ring! Why didn’t it stop? What happened to him?”

“He stayed with us a whole two days,” Narcissa said tightly. “In the night, Conner woke us. He said the pack had returned for him. They were there, waiting for him. Your father was oblivious, absolutely blind to them. Conner feared for Lucius and without thought for himself, he placed the ring on your father’s finger and he stepped away… He kept stepping.”

Draco swallowed hard. His throat was dry and tongue felt too large for his mouth.

“He laughed when he opened the front door. He began to glow, then moaned. He slipped away before our eyes. It was like he apparated but without sound. He was gone and he never returned.” Narcissa breathed deep to steady her shaky voice. She turned to Draco and took in his ragged appearance. “Lucius didn’t notice the creatures but he was changed for a moment. I saw a soft glow on him fade when Conner disappeared. It was enough to know his blood was just as tainted. He never took the ring off again.”

Draco could not, no matter how terrible he knew it was, stop the laughter from escaping him. “Oh, god… Haha, fucking hell. He took it off for me!” He broke down laughing as he knelt on the floor.

There was a pack of wild vesper sitting outside the castle door and his father gave up his humanity to save what couldn’t be saved. What a fucked up, bad joke he was living. Lucius prevented him from killing himself. Harry killed Voldemort and managed to come back. After everything, so many impossible odds, he was going to be savored and devoured by vesper. And he was going to laugh through the whole fucking thing!

Narcissa knelt beside him. Her hands hovered inches from his shoulders. “We’ll take you from here, Draco. We’ll find you a safe place to…”

“No,” Draco whispered. His laughter faded away and left him gray and hollow inside.

Narcissa’s voice turned pleading. “Draco, please, it’s not too late. Lucius left his father’s and grandfather’s journals. Surely some knowledge can be found.” She did touch him then, her hands feather light as she grasped Draco’s shoulders. “I’ll protect you, my son.”

“No!” Draco pushed her away and stood to tower in anger. “Protect me? You handed me over to Voldemort on a fucking silver platter! You made me pledge myself to a woman when I’m gay! You’ve pushed me every day down the path where I will only create another tainted, victimized son for the vesper to hunt! How, exactly, are you going to protect me, mother? Open the castle doors to them? Maybe tie me up and throw a ribbon on me for good measure while you kick me out the door? I can do without your help!”

“Draco, please! You’re angry but don’t…” Draco didn’t hear what his mother had to say. He ran out Dumbledore’s office door, down the spiral staircase and tripped out into the hallway.

God, he had a fucking uncle. How many of Lucius’s line came to this end? All eventually. There was only one ring and the fuckwits insisted on having children! Every father must have given in to the curse to protect their son. Even a father as terrible as Lucius.

Draco didn’t have to be such a father. He didn’t have to be a father at all. Fuck, he didn’t even have to wait to see when the fucking creatures would come for him.

He felt completely mad as fear and fire shook through him. He didn’t have to wait to be another victim. If anything, he could be the last. Draco looked down at his hand and with one swift move, pulled the ring from his finger. It fell with a clatter to the stone floor he didn’t hear as he turned and stalked toward the large entryway of the castle.

Everyone was asleep when Fox finally got up the nerve to visit Vincent. It was after midnight, and Wylie, Forest, Dorian, Dante, Chris and Will were all piled on the cots in the hospital around Justin and Leo. They were worn out from not only the battle but seeing their friends injured. Dante was asleep curled up next to him and Fox was extra careful not to wake him when he slipped from the bed.

He couldn’t help but look over Justin and Leo before he left. A part of him needed to ensure they were breathing and nothing drastic had changed while he fought sleep. Forest was shifted in his leopard form. He looked like a dark shadow around Justin’s feet as he imitated a fluffy blanket. Being cat was probably easier on Forest at the moment. Things hurt less when you were shifted. Not physical pain, but the stuff that made your heart hurt too much to bear.

Dr. Rob was alone with his dark head ducked over paperwork when Fox stepped into his office.

“Hey, Master Theodore said I might be able to visit Vince.”

Dr. Rob looked up and blinked a few times as his glasses slipped down his nose. “Are you feeling well enough to walk right now?”

Fox shrugged distractedly. “I guess so. Come on, Doc; he’s all alone in there. I just want to see him.”

Dr. Rob sat back in his chair with a thoughtful look on his features. “I understand Vincent is very important to you. I just want to stress how upsetting him right now could be detrimental. For his health, and possibly your own.”

Fox gave him a confused look. “I’m not going in there to fight with him. He’s seriously been locked in a room for the last 12 hours.”

“Yes. There is a very good reason for that.”

Fox rolled his eyes. “You have him in a null-collar.”

Dr. Rob sighed and his long fingers came up to set his glasses properly on his face. “Fox, Vincent’s elemental magic works around the collar. If he becomes upset, he is capable of doing the same spells you saw this afternoon. The only difference is the harm they will cause his body will be extreme while in a null-collar.” His gaze turned piercing. “That is not a deterrent for someone like Vincent.”

Fox scowled. “I’m not going in there to fight with him. I’m not afraid of him; no one in this Academy should be afraid of Vince. He knew exactly what he was doing and the only people he hurt were the creeps who fucking deserved it.”

Dr. Rob nodded slowly and pushed himself to his feet. “I’m asking you to be aware of your effect on him. What happened today is only a trigger for Vincent, not the cause of his distress. You’re not always talking to the Vincent from the Academy, Fox.”

Fox pursed his lips, his eyes downcast. He went to scratch at his ear, only to stop himself when his fingers touched bandages. “I know. Sometimes he’s not even here at all. It doesn’t matter though. He shouldn’t be alone like this.”

Dr. Rob paused at the doorway to his office. “He’s sedated. Don’t expect too much from him right now. He’ll be confused at best.”

Fox briskly nodded as he realized he won. “I just want to see him.”

Dr. Rob gave him a look, having caught the way he winced in pain from his last movement, but didn’t say anything. He led him to Vincent’s room and spelled the door open so Fox could enter. “I’ll be back in a little while to check in. If you need anything, I’ll be in my office.”

Fox stepped in and waited for Dr. Rob to leave. His eyes searched the dimly lit room as he looked for the signs of damage already magicked away by Dr. Rob earlier in the evening. Once his gaze fell on Vincent’s sleeping form, he couldn’t look away. He slowly made his way across the room and pulled the single chair out of the corner and placed it next to the bed.

Fox sat with a groan and quickly gripped the side of his waist. The claw marks were killing him, not that he was about to let Dr. Rob know. The healer would spell him to sleep before he even had a chance to blink. He gingerly leaned forward in his seat to untuck his tail. A smile quirked his lips once he saw Vincent again and all of a sudden the pain just didn’t seem to hurt as much.

“Hey, Vince.” He reached over and gently teased a few dark strands of hair from Vincent’s sleeping face. “Hope you don’t mind me crashing. You know I can’t stay away for long.” His hand slipped down and he traced the edge of the null-collar around Vincent’s neck.

Hell, he was beautiful. Not even a bruise on him after he broke up a brawl. “I didn’t get to thank you.” Fox inhaled his scent and smirked. “Not that you wouldn’t have been pissed if I did. Or you’d be pissed cuz I didn’t. You are a difficult guy to make happy, Vince. I think I like that about you. You’re a challenge in a lot of ways. You make me be better and I like that.”

Fox hadn’t told anyone that one of the reasons he improved his focus so much the last few months was because of Vincent. He wasn’t blind to the fact Vince couldn’t handle the level of noise and movement that came out of him when he was wound up. It made things extra hard when all he wanted to do was be around the guy and get to know him. It kind of became his goal to be calm enough for Vincent to not want to wring his neck. Maybe even quiet enough for Vincent to want to spend time with him.

“I thought I was going to die today.” Fox let his fingers comb through the ends of Vincent’s silky hair on the pillow, his brows furrowed in thought. “I seriously thought I was going to die. And you know the fucked up thing? I realized I haven’t done a fucking thing with my life. I have spent a year in this place. An entire year of waiting. All I do is wait, or I guess try to distract myself from all the waiting I’m doing. What the hell am I waiting for? To be a different person? To not fuck shit up all the time? If I had just stayed with Raider instead of going into that butcher shop, none of this would have happened. No one would have been hurt. You wouldn’t have had to… Fuck.”

He sighed in exasperation and hung his head forward. “What the fuck am I doing, Vince? Who the fuck am I supposed to be by the time I leave here? I don’t know if I’m getting closer to that person, or have just lost myself completely. Raider was like a brother to me and now… Now, I’m the type of person who gets pissed off when he tries to run away, instead of offering to go with him, or help him figure out his problems.”

Fox never used to think he was selfish. Back home, he would help anyone who asked. He didn’t care they were younger; he always played with his little sisters. Raider was the most fucked up kid he knew back home, and the Mandula brothers weren’t too far behind in their own particular dysfunctional way. Fox didn’t mind. He was a bridge for messed up people. He knew he was messed up and kind of weird, but for some reason he was also really good with people. He could be that go-between others needed to not feel so alone or isolated. That was what he did; it was like his fucking purpose in life. He’d tell stupid jokes and stories to make people laugh so they’d feel good about being weird too.

Just, there were moments when he wasn’t laughing, wasn’t jumping around trying to impress someone else where he started to realize he didn’t feel so good about himself.

Maybe that was why it was so much easier to be a fox. His inner animal didn’t care if he was doing anything with his life, if he was creating value to the people around him, or helping his family, or learning an important skill. A fox was happy being a fox. Being human was far more complicated. Others depended on you. The things said or unsaid mattered. And sometimes you had to make shitty choices where it all just hurt. He had to be selfish with Raider and watch his friend be hurt so he wasn’t dragged down into his mess of a life. Some people were more than weird; they were black holes of fucking trouble.

“I wasn’t like this before I got here. I would have taken a beating for Raider. Actually, I’m pretty sure I took a few punches over that idiot.” Fox snorted bitterly. “God, the shit he got me into, and the shit I put him through. I used to think it was funny. Interesting, even. I was never bored when Raider was around. He made my life hell, though. I don’t even think I realized how difficult it was to be his friend until I left home and was on my own here. It was like this huge responsibility was taken from me, and I feel like such an asshole, but I don’t want it back. I can’t be his fucking life preserver. I don’t even know what the hell I want to do with my life yet.”

Fox fell silent and watched as Vincent’s hand uncurled from where it was resting on his chest and lifted. “Hey, you awake?” He turned his gaze back to Vincent’s face where his dark eyelashes were fluttering. “Vince?”

“Ruhe,” Vincent mumbled sleepily. His hand jerked up and Fox just managed to move to the side to keep from being smacked on the mouth. Fox quickly caught his hand as it swayed without coordination, and gently guided it back down to Vincent’s chest.

“Sorry,” Fox said much more quietly as he twined their fingers together. “You rest. You don’t need to be awake to hear me bitch about shit. Just…” He peered down, eyes caught on Vincent’s features. “I’m right here, Vince. I’m always going to be here.”

He bent down and tried not to hiss as his wounds pulled painfully. Vincent’s face was again a perfect mask of sleep as Fox pushed his hair back from his face and gently kissed his forehead. “You saved me more than once today. The thing you showed me with the magic; I don’t think I could have been so focused if not for you teaching me how to conjure.” He cupped the side of Vincent’s face and stroked his thumb down his cheek.

“I know you don’t feel the same way. I don’t even know if I need you to feel like this. It doesn’t change anything. Not really.” Half of Fox wished Vincent was awake and could hear him but at the same time the rest of him was grateful he was too drugged up to know he was there. It didn’t matter. Not really.

“I think I love you, Vince,” Fox whispered as he bent down and pressed a soft kiss to warm lips. “And I’m really sorry I didn’t come to visit you sooner.”

Fox sank down and rested his head on the pillow Vincent was sleeping on. More than a few strands of hair tickled at his face but he sighed contentedly and let his eyelids fall closed. The sounds of Vincent’s even breathing were far more comforting than the many confusing thoughts in his head. Fox did his best to focus on it and copied the calming rhythm until all the doubts, fear and guilt he was struggling with eventually abated.